Mom moved in while I was working from home. We’re going to a hybrid schedule at work next month. What’s the best way to get my mom ready for a caregiver to come over while I’m out? She doesn’t think she needs anyone, but with her undiagnosed dementia, she has called police when she lived alone before and hallucinates her passed family members. Since she has been with me at home, she’s more relaxed but still hallucinating and a bit grumpy. She “wants to go home” to her childhood home.
"She wants to go home to her childhood home." This is called Sundowning and usually starts to happen in the mid- late-afternoon. She needs her mind and conversation to be redirected and distracted with activity-- a perfect time for the caregiver to take her out for a walk or drive.
I encourage you to take her to get officially diagnosed.
I hope it all goes smoothly!
Notify the police of the situation to help the caregiver if this does happen.
Why is mom in your home? Maybe it is time for mom to be in memory care.
It’s better now, but my husband (who she listens to, she doesn’t listen to me) would have to call her because she kicked the PSW’s out of the house a few times. The PSW would then call him to let him know, and he would call MIL, reminding her that “our friend was coming to help US out, not YOU.” We had to do this for a few weeks before she got into the routine.
Just make sure the PSW knows to say the same thing. It’ll go smoother.
The caregiver is there to help "you" not mom. That is if mom is of the type that does not want any help...thus the help is for you not her..
First day the caregiver is there spend some time with both then "suddenly remember" you have to go get milk for dinner. Go out for an hour then come back.
During the time you are gone the caregiver can chat with mom, maybe do the dishes that you used when you all sat down for tea or coffee.
Second day the caregiver is there start the same way but then go out and stay out for longer.
They will get to know each other that way.
When you have to go to work just say "your" friend "Sally" will come over while you are gone.
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