Dad kept hiding & losing his wallet. Finally, I just put it away, told him to ask if he wants to buy anything. Of course he doesn't remember. He doesn't always recognize me, his only child, and he keeps thinking our home of 50 years is a motel he wants to check out of, so he doesn't run up more of a bill. Showing him financial records or even just giving him a dollar to carry seems to fuel the fire, rather than help it. He tries to escape and head for the bus stop any time he's got any money. He constantly talks about needing to sign up for his pension. My explaining that he already gets it does no good. He was sending thousands of dollars to junk mailers every month, had been, for a couple of years, when I took over as POA. His lawyer did say that a person has a right to their own finances, unless they have a guardian, when I first took over. I hope this never will be an issue. I worry a little about what he might say to someone, as I've got to have help in our home, soon. Dad's going down fast, yet he's charming, and knows how to act pretty "with it" for short periods of time. A naive lady took him car shopping, behind my back, before I quit working, to care for him full time. Because of that, I worry what else a naive person might do, what kind of trouble I could get in for "impinging on his rights." And of course there's the logistics of dealing with this alone, every day.
She forgot who she was and thought that she was being held captive. Alzheimer's is the saddest journey I've ever seen for all involved.
She got to the point that she could no longer be safely cared for in the home, so she went to a nursing home. She couldn't walk very well at that point but she did manage to escape several times, she had to wear an ankle alarm to be sure she set an alarm off when leaving the building. She even got out after she was wheelchair bound.
Remember that your life and wellbeing is important as well as your dads, so try to get help and look for a facility that you will feel okay about, believe me, I have watched several loved ones go this route and it does get to a point that they need a village to care. If not, you may be the 1st to go and that is unacceptable.
My heart goes out to you, I know how sad, frustrating and confusing this can be. Take care of you during this journey. Great big warm hug 🤗.
The other commenters are correct in suggesting you start to consider and research MC facilities for him, just in case. You are a prime candidate for burnout. You need to know the availabilities and the costs and the process if you ever need to go that route. And you might, no matter what you think today. I wish you all the best and peace in your heart as you work through his care options.
A good portion of the last months of his life were spent worrying about money, going to the bank (I couldn't stop him, he would walk!), hiding the wallet and cash he withdrew, looking for the wallet that was thus lost because he forgot where he hid it, and demanding his passport so that he could plan a trip overseas because he didn't want to stay here. Looking bad it is was very sad. In the midst of it, I was pulling my hair out.
Maybe you could try calling your county elder services and inquiring about a social services visit so they can assess the situation? I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know it's difficult and frustrating. Sending you good thoughts.