I'll spare the details, suffice it to say I feel sorry for the person that has to clean up the bathroom. He walks from the restroom covered in "stuff" to the car (restaurant and golf club house are the two most recent). He gets angry at me for gagging but I have to drive home with the windows open, leaning over as close as possible to the window. I do not handle things that come out of the body (except for blood for some reason).
I have carried a blanket in the car for years, so I cover the seat with that that with the command to him to not touch anything. Get home and I have to deal with the blanket, the car, and of course his clothes, while he showers, all the while I'm gagging. (Tried the Vicks under the nose, didn't help.)
He came home today and declared how sick he is, he must have covid. Sigh. Nope, he's not sick, he's incontinent and won't admit it. At home he makes it to the bathroom but in public, he explodes when he gets to the toilet. At least he gets that far (so no need for incontinence underwear), I should be thankful that he isn't actually going in his pants (although maybe this is a precursor to that?).
How do I handle this? I have no desire to ever go in a restaurant with him again. We have some have-to-do trips coming up (still dealing with dad's estate and house) and I dread the thought of having to hit all his favorite restaurants and staying in a hotel where clean up won't be easy.
I have suggested a diet change to eliminate flour and he won't hear of it. He wants his doughnuts, pizza, and subs. I hope to be able to bring this up with his PCP next week, but that will be difficult.
So, anyone have the voice of experience and can suggest something I am overlooking?
Dad refused to wear disposable underwear. Mom finally had enough, so the next time Dad had an "oops" she handed him the cleaner and rags. He had to now clean up his own mess. After a few times doing the cleaning, he started to wear Depends. Problem solved.
Oh, turned out my Dad was lactose intolerant, which explained his lack of bowel control at his age. Changing to lactose free milk helped him a lot. But trying to convince my Mom was another story that Dad could no longer have cottage cheese, regular cheese, ice cream, vogurt, anything dairy. She's from the old school that a "little bit" won't hurt.... (rolling eyes).
May I ask why it will be difficult to bring this up to his PCP? Perhaps you could use the patient portal to communicate with his doctor prior to the appointment to let him know what’s going on and then he could ask about it.
Even if I bring it up with the dr., dh can talk circles around everyone and will give every excuse in the book as to why it happens. And then I will face great hostility for having mentioned it to the dr.