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My mother will be 98 years old in May and resides in the memory care unit in an assisted living facility. She suffers from dementia, hypertension, high cholesterol, polyarthritis, muscle weakness, fatty liver disease, cholelithiasis, macular degeneration and glaucoma. The arthritis is so bad that getting her in and out of the car and into a wheelchair to take her to doctor’s appointments has her screaming in pain. The only prescription medication she takes is for her cholesterol (atorvastatin) high blood pressure (lisinopril and metoprol) and glaucoma (latanoprost). The only drug her doctor ordered for her arthritis pain is Tylenol (325mg) two tablets in the morning and two before bedtime. Her insurance does not cover the visiting physician who comes into the assisted living facility, so she has to be taken out every time she goes to her PCP, which is every 3 months, first for a blood draw and then for the office call. He will not prescribe a pain medication and the Tylenol does little, if anything, for her pain.
The facility where she lives does have a van that will take her to doctor's appointments but it costs $30. She has been in this facility for 3 years at a cost of $5,300 a month and at this rate she will run out of money in two more years and I will have to try to find a Medicaid facility for her. I am in my early 70’s and the stress involved with taking her to the doctor’s when she screams in pain getting in and out of the car and the fact that her dementia gets worse every year keeps me in a constant state of anxiety.
I have sister who is six years younger than me who doesn't even call her on the phone and has not visited her even once in the three years she's been in assisted living because she lives an hour and a half away and according to her, her back hurts when she has to be in a car for more than an hour.
Would my mother qualify for hospice care even though she has no life-threatening illness? Even if she could get pain medication for the arthritis would be a blessing.

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That's a very conservative Tylenol px. Why so stingy? I agree that Tylenol is no miracle when it comes to pain relief but an adequate dose taken preventively is better than nothing - until her PCP comes up with a better idea. What's the rationale for refusing to treat her pain? What's the alternative suggestion?

This is one of the most frustrating and exasperating aspects of the US healthcare system. Your mother has access to two licensed physicians. One her insurance won't pay for. The one her insurance WILL pay for won't prescribe her adequate pain relief. I don't know how you restrain yourselves, sometimes, I honestly don't - the longing to bang people's heads together would overwhelm me on these occasions.

Actually, thinking it through, I'm now even crosser. You're paying for insurance which doesn't cover the healthcare service she can access. You're paying for a facility's services, and their services aren't made available to her. And her doctor is paid by her insurer, and denies her treatment for her pain. Wouldn't it be nice to get all of these USELESS people in one room and ask them what they've got to say for themselves?
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I am not a doctor or nurse, but the screaming pain does not sound like arthritis. It sounds like she might have compression fractures in her spine due to osteoporosis. My grandmother suffered with this and was put on calcitonin for a number of years in her early 90s (she lived to 103). Its purpose is to increase bone density but it has a well-known therapeutic effect of reducing pain. Your mother is entitled to better care than she is getting. By all means have hospice evaluate her but maybe you also need to take her to a different doctor.
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At 98 with dementia, she would probably qualify for the diagnosis of senile dementia of the brain. If you.verify with hospice that her drugs are to continue but that you have no intention of going further down the curative route, she may well be a suitable patient.

Unlike pcps,, hospice docs are expected to scrip lots of opiates and controlled drugs, such as Ativan. The whole original purpose was pain relief. Contact a hospice, preferably non profit, and avoid Vitas at all costs.
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Personal opinion...It is never to early to contact Hospice.
They will evaluate her and if she does not qualify for Hospice you can ask about Palliative Care. They can also help with prescriptions as well as managing pain.
If at this time she does not qualify for Hospice (and I seriously doubt that would happen) once on Palliative Care the Team that sees her would be the first to notice when she would be able to transition to Hospice.
Make the call to the Hospice of your choice. Many facilities have great relationships with all the Hospice that are in your area and could give you some suggestions if you do not know what is available.
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My 92-yr-old mother has been under Hospice care for about 2 months now. She was not getting good care at her MC facility so extra eyes in the form of hospice caregivers is a welcome thing.

I had to think long and hard about placing her on hospice as, once she is on hospice, no diagnosing or testing is allowed to be done. Mom has recently taken on a very yellow skin tone which indicates to me that something may be wrong with her liver. The hospice nurse said that, even if that was true, all they could do would be to remove her from what few meds she is currently taking. Hospice would not administer a UTI test for a possible infection but just prescribed a broad-spectrum antibiotic for her. The goal for Mom now is comfort.

Her dementia has progressed so quickly and I think part of that is a result of the move from the MC facility to a Residential Group Home with 6 residents and two caregivers. She has stopped walking and talking and just about stopped eating and drinking. It is very sad and leaves me with such a helpless feeling.

The Hospice Nurse comes about once a week and I can text her if I need to, but she is very realistic about her goal for Mom's care. The aide still showers Mom three times a week and gets her dressed for the day (still don't know why they insist on getting her up if she is non-responsive.) Hospice provided a tall-back wheel-chair for her and they supply briefs and bed pads and wipes and meds that qualify as "not curative". The hospice doctor only comes to see her at 6 months and that is to determine if Mom still qualifies for hospice care.

Mom was having trouble breathing last Sunday and we called the on-call hospice nurse who came to check on her and put her on oxygen. The nurse asked me if I wanted to take her off of hospice and send her to the hospital in case she stopped breathing all together so the hospital could maybe revive her. Nope. I don't want my mother anywhere near a hospital. Besides, there is a DNR in place. So, you can go off hospice, get treatment, then go back on if you still qualify.
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roxy50 Apr 2022
Some very helpful information, thank you.
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i don’t care how many conditions one has, there is no excuse for someone to be in so much pain. I concur with most everyone here. Dementia is a terminal illness and should qualify for palliative/hospice care. It breaks my heart that she has to be transported in pain every few months to get Tylenol. (My own mom, age 96 takes Tylenol Arthritis ER 650 mg (2 tabs 3 x day for a total of 3900 mg per day) and has for years (prescribed by her Care Home dr). At 98 we know there is much time left. Mine and my moms theory is to live in the least amount of pain possible. Good luck.
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My mother hated getting x-rays for her hip-very painful. She said she wouldn't get a hip replacement, so we stopped going to that Dr. She has cancer but said she would not be treated if it came back, so we stopped going to that Dr. We knew her stated, written wishes of DNR, no feeding tube, no surgery of any kind to prolong her life. Her last act was to refuse a pacemaker at age 93. She went on hospice and passed a few months later. Hospice will keep your mother pain free but you have to be prepared for them to not treat her for anything other than pain and to gradually reduce the medication she is on. When Mom was unconscious and the hospice nurse recommended a a course of action my sister's response was "it's not what we would've wanted but it is what my mother would've wanted". Knowing my mom's wishes made all the decisions easier.
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Yes, she could qualify. Talk to her doctor about getting her hospice care. My mother, with advanced dementia, was falling and her facility kept sending her to the hospital. She didn't understand what was happening to her in the hospital and hated it. She hated going to doctor and dentist appointments. Her doctor agreed to recommend her for hospice (comfort care), and we added "no hospitalization" to her medical directives. I asked her opthalmologist if we could stop going to the eye appointments, as she couldn't respond to the eye charts. He agreed and kept filling her prescription. Hospice re-evaluates her condition every 6-months or so. You might want to contact your mother's insurance if she gets on hospice care. They may have some provision for her to use the facility's doctor to get "house calls" for her.
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GB2112 Apr 2022
Nancy, to what medical directives did you add the "no hospitalization" clause? Was it part of the hospice paperwork? My mom doesn't want to be taken to the hospital but does not qualify for hospice yet. We are in the process of getting her on "palliative care," which is a "step down" from hospice (at least in her area) and does not offer the same protection from being treated/removed from the home against her wishes (which almost happened last week). I'd like to build that protection into her medical documentation but my mom's attorney said it really wouldn't hold up in a living will, and I'm not sure where else to document it.
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I’m sorry you’re both going through this. As someone born with arthritis, I understand that kind of pain. I know just the thought of all it would involve will make you weary, but if it were me, I’d get another doctor. One who understands quality of life is the main thing to consider in a 98 year old patient.
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Unless it would conflict with her other meds, I think it's a bit cruel of her doctor not to prescribe pain meds for her. (Tylenol doesn't do anything for me for even small discomfort such as a minor headache, much less arthritis! If that's all that is available, I just go without.) I wonder if her compromised liver is why he won't prescribe any. But at this point, I would think it is more of a quality of life issue.

It's time to talk to her PCP about hospice or palliative care - the visits to the doctor seem like unnecessary torture for the both of you. Explain to him that this 3 month routine is akin to torture and she doesn't seem to be gaining anything by it. At this point, her comfort is what should be priority.

I'm sorry that you're going through this and hope you get some answers soon.
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roxy50 Apr 2022
Thank you. This whole situation has negatively affected my life. When she cries out in pain like she does, it takes all that I have to keep from bursting into tears.
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