It has been four years and my wife and I are at our wits end. Last month I spoke with her MLTC and they did an assessment I have submitted that assessment to various places but she has been rejected from each place I have submitted. I am aware she is not guaranteed placement but being denied by so many places seems insane.
The reason for the denial was they felt they were not properly equipped to handle her. She can be a handful but she is not aggressive more like a toddler that touches and gets in everything if you don't keep an eye on her.
I also tried bringing her to the hospital both ER and psychiatric but unfortunately she had no medical reason to stay and was promptly discharged.
I just don't want keep up with this level of energy which is why I am looking for placement but it has proven to be difficult. As stated she is like a child always full of energy and has to be constantly entertained.
I have no issue being her advocate and if Medicaid did provide home care hours I would be fine with that. As it stands where at a cross roads. Her doctors state she needs 24/7 care either home care or placement. Medicaid has shot down every request and appeal for home care hours due to her lack of needing "physical" assistance. She gets by with prompting and queueing.
But she is like a 4 year old she knows where the snacks are and stuff and can figure how to get them but she cannot survive on her own, well not safely.
My wife and I are at our wits end. We have felt like we have aging 10 years. Have racked up insane amount of debt making this bearable for us by paying for private PCA services.
My mother has no money she has limited work history since I was a handful as a child.
So yeah how do I go about getting her placed when I have tried to go through her MLTC already.
Additional information. I will not move her in with us. My wife and I are too young for that. I also wish to still engage in activities for example still go on walks on our boardwalk every Saturday. We go to the movies once a month. Church every Sunday. Gym three times a week.
I am just worn out by the daily caregiving not so much doing normal mother and son stuff. I do send her to adult day, but that cost adds up it is like 30 an hour. Medcaid covers 8 hours a week on adult day at least.
The truth is that mental illness is an entirely different diagnosis under medical and under the law than dementia. They are not the same and are not legally treated the same.
As one judge said in case I am aware of "It's no crime to be mentally ill". There is no help for families and the law will not allow anyone to be placed guardian. Their feeling is that with proper medication the mentally ill can live normal lives. In fact, the sad truth is that few mentally ill, seniors or otherwise, stick to medications. They end up homeless. They end up on our street and in our prisons.
I don't honestly have any good ideas for you but you need someone trained now in your corner who knows "every trick" available to you. Sadly now there is a new tendency to say that our elder demented are not suffering dementia (which is notoriously difficult to assess and diagnose) but rather have "bipolar" issues. This is going to land these folks directly into the laps of their family.
I am terribly sorry. I hope you will include us with updates as you make this awful journey and I wish I could contribute ANYTHING at all of hope. I hope that others may be able to.