The guilt is overwhelming. I have always been there for my mother. After a fall in September and misdiagnosis and a 6-8 week stay in rehab it was decided that she could no longer live on her own. The decision was made she would need to move into Assisted Living. I just can't get over the guilt of doing this. I visit her everyday and am there on average 4-6 hours a day not getting home until 8:30-9:00pm. I know its my decision to go as much but I just can't seem to stay away. My mother has lived independently up until September 2015. She had some friends where she lived and pretty much stayed to herself. Shes always been pretty content, happy, and very easy going. Since entering Assisted Living she has been pretty quite and to herself which is not her. She does share a room which is not easy for anyone. This pass week she has been dealing with a UTI and have finally gotten her on the correct medication. I know the UTI in elderly is not good and causes lots of confusion which she has. I just don't know what to do anymore. I love my mother and would so anything for her but I'm at the end of my rope mentally and physically.
So I am using the "college" feeling to help me with dealing with my Dad [94] who had decided on his own it is time to sell the house and move into independent/assisted living. My Mom passed away this month due to a serious fall and complications from that fall, and Dad doesn't want that to happen to him.
One suggestion, please don't visit your Mom so much otherwise your Mom won't join the activities because she is waiting for you. She needs to join in, if she is able. I know the place that my Dad is moving to "Sunrise Senior Living" the staff is good at getting the quiet new residents to meet people who have similar backgrounds. It is so important for one to have a buddy that they enjoy seeing every day :)