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We're having an issue with my dad getting his medications correctly. He is 88 years old in stage 7 dementia. He gets Seroquel for sleeping 9:00 a.m., noon and 3:00 p.m. Not at all at night time, so he naps during the day and he's awake all night, wandering, and tearing up his room. I'm trying to get out the doors They are also not giving him his Zoloft or respridone, which is for his anxiety, until 6:00 p.m.


He's been in this facility for 2 weeks and we've had many talks with staff. Also had a meeting with the owner and staff member about this issue. He also acquired a bladder infection because he's not drinking enough water. Any thoughts or advice?

It's in the interests of everybody, and I would make this clear, that your dad's medications are given more near to the routine that has worked in the past to keep him calm. You have gone to the admins. And after this going to the HEAD have you still reviewed his medication records and found they are incorrect.

I would tell admin that you need another meeting and that the medical record should be there along with the medication sheets so that you can time the times of administration of his medications. Let them know you are trying to work WITH them so they have a more calm resident. (I am ASSUMING he is in MC, and not in ALF, as he needs memory care now).

If, after several meetings this isn't working you are looking at needing a change I do know that YOU already know Dad isn't an easy placement. And places DO cherry pick. In fact they often HOPE you will take a problematic resident elsewhere, and may throw a party as you exit. Just saying, this now is falling into the sad realm where there are no good answers and EVERYTHING is imperfect. Just a fact.

I sure wish you good luck and applaud your actions so far, which are perfect. You have investigated, found what is wanting, spoken to staff and spoken to the admins. While it may take a month or so to work this out, stay calm and assure them you are wanting to help get it arranged so it works for BOTH your self-interests.

Good luck. I hope you'll update us.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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CaringWifeAZ Jan 26, 2025
Thanks for pointing out the reality that care homes are in a position to pick the easiest residents, as there are more people in need of care than there are available beds. I appreciate this coming from your background and experience.
I am caring for my very difficult spouse at home - for 9 years now, because he has been neglected, over-medicated (which was ineffective), and subsequently kicked out of two nursing homes.
If I could pick and choose, I'd much rather have a sweet, cooperative,
90 pound grandmother to care for than a strong, heavy, combative 63 yr old man, who, incidentally does NOT respond well to medications.
At least a dozen ( I can't even remember to name them all) have been tried, with the result of making him even more anxious and agitated!
And the anti-psych medications had undesirable side effects! His head would turn from side to side, as if slowly shaking your head "NO" and this lasted at least 6 months after stopping the medication!
Now, I only give him Trazodone and depakote at bedtime, which are incredibly helpful, as long as he's not drugged during the daytime!

I SO wish I could find a care home (on my budget) with a staff to lovingly work with him and manage his behaviors and provide the care this once loving man so deserves! I hurt every day of life and I'm trying to do this as long as I can. I know once he's placed in a SNF, he will very likely be neglected and overdosed on morphine until it kills him. The thought of him being scared, confused and neglected by strangers is heart-wrenching for me! I have talked with his 3 sons about what they want to do when I can no longer do this. They have decided they would not try and care for him at home; he will have to go into a nursing home.
So, I just keep on trying.
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First off, Seroquel is a strong "anti-psychotic" drug, with a side effect of sleepiness. Older folks often aren't prescribed it because of its strength and other possible complications....even the TV commercials say this. Being administered it at 9am, noon and 3pm (if true) is a recipe for disaster. You must address this issue ASAP!!!
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Gacast70 Jan 26, 2025
My mother has been taking seroquel 25 mg since 2012 after her stroke caused hallucinations (only one pill per day). They tried to increase it once when she said she started seeing people again and orange and purple dogs and she knew that she was seeing them because she would tell me I know I could see them and you can’t so they increased it and it was worse so they had to decrease it again. It could be that they’re over medicating the gentleman But this is the doctor's responsibility so she would need to speak to the doctors re-address his medication needs. Remember nursing homes are just that they have an in-house doctor however they just follow doctors orders and provide care and medication as prescribed.
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You may need to contact your state’s Nursing Care Facilities ombudsman department and file a complaint. I’ve done this and they investigate quickly. My mother’s expenses are a guaranteed payment the facility can lose if she’s moved (24/7 care isn’t cheap). They need to be held accountable and reassess your father and his medication. I was fortunate that my complaint got the ball rolling and she’s been at her facility for over 2 1/2 years now.
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You have your answer. That is medical negligence. The fact that you have repeatedly brought it up and there are still problems means you can likely expect there is a culture of neglect or disorganization. I would not trust them, and I would find another place. They are negligent. Your dad as any human requiring medication and basic hydration requires medication and reasonably on time, as well as hydration. I think he is at risk and should be placed elsewhere.
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Reply to ksjfshdk
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The person to talk to at the facility would be the nurse in charge.

If you are still not getting the results you expect, it is time to look for a new facility.

Actually, if you are able, the person to talk to would be the doctor who is prescribing the medications. That would include the time medication should be administered. The problem is, it is often a visiting doctor, who comes and goes on their own timeline, so you may not ever see them or know when they are going to be there.

You are right to advocate for your loved one in a nursing home. Your requests don't sound unreasonable. Some nursing homes simply aren't equipped with adequate staff to provide the level of care you ideally hope for.
If they are unable to provide the care your father needs and deserves, find one that can.
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cover9339 Jan 26, 2025
Not some, the majority
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Is this Longterm care or Assisted Living/Memory care.

No medication can be given without a doctors prescription. Does the facility have all the prescriptions? Are you talking to the Director of Nursing?

When my Mom was in LTC I had to pick a doctor associated the facility. You need to find out how the doctors orders were written. The doctor may have changed things. Made adjustments felt other meds were not needed. The nurses can only give meds prescribed by the doctor. They can only give them at the times the Doctor ordered them. The facility must follow Doctor orders. The State will come in and check to make sure residents are getting their meds correctly. There is protocol that needs to be followed.

Water. With my Mom, they left a big cup on her table. The aides went around every so often and refilled. Did not do Mom any good, she was out in the common area most of the day. The aides did come around and give the residents water.

There is no one on one in a facility. Your Dad is not going to be cared for like you would have. Younay need to make sure Dad gets water while your there. My daughter, RN, works in NHs. I used to ask her what I should complain about and what not to. You will have to pick your battles. His meds are one of these battles.
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If you feel it is a bad fit Move him to a better facility and read reviews on YELP . People report negligence to Medicare and Propublica will write some reviews on YELP or ask that you report this to Medicare as neglect . Also ask your senior center which Facilities are Good .
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Reply to KNance72
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Does this facility use their own doctor? They should follow your dad's doctor's orders. If this facility isn't complying, look for another. Just make the decision soon.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Sounds like you’ve answered your is. Question
they sound neglectful
i would be viewing and talking to other places and ask what their checks would be
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I've heard of many dementia patients getting dehydrated because they won't drink enough water. They also typically love sweets so maybe get some flavorings to make him want to drink water? Pedialyte makes popsicles that are quite flavorful and would help with hydration. Perhaps you can drop off a box and instruct them to give them to him a couple times a day along with cold water since the sugar may also make him thirsty.
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