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My grand mother was rush to the hospital with C. difficile, and she has water on one side of her lungs and low pressure and has no more iron!!! She hasn’t eat for the past two weeks and she doesn’t drink either…. Last week she told the doctor she doesn’t want no more blood test and any treatment and she said she want to die… she sleep all days and she is so weak. It breaks my heart seeing her in that condition, I know she is giving up and I have to accept her wishes but I’m not ready to say goodbye!!! How long can she live that way?!? Do you think she could die in her sleep without suffering any pain?! Does the doctor could grant her wishes without telling any of us?!?
I am so sorry. I have to tell you, as an old retired RN, that I have seen MANY elders pass from C-diff. Sadly it is a side effect of antibiotics used for so many needed things, side effect of chemo. And other things. The explosive diarrhea resulting from this is almost incurable, and please don't let anyone suggest "probiotics". Just worthless. Beset by this dreadful c-diff, appetite leaves, and honestly, whether food is taken or not, the movement through the digestive system is so rapid that few nutrients are absorbed. There was one cure -- briefly --and that was fecal transplants. Look them up. They were often INSTANT cures and still today, research mostly having stalled due to a natural reticence to ingest feces no matter the form--some are doing their OWN fecal transplants. Instructions abound on the internet.
Add to this your poor grandmother has apparently congestive heart failure (left side of the heart, the worst side to get it on, as fluid accumulating in lungs rather than the peripheral vascular system (many have BOTH left and right failure). There is really no cure for a weakening heart pump at this age; the only thing to do is to treat symptoms.
I know that there will be a POA or next of kin now. This person should and apparently has discussed grandmothers end of life wishes; it is time now to make her as comfortable as possible.
Your grandmother has had a long life. I full well know that doesn't make her passing any easier, though it may lessen your grief to be able to celebrate the fullness of a life and the end of suffering and fear of losses.
The best thing you can do now for your grandmother is to HONOR her wishes. And to let her know how much she has meant to you, and how you will remember her for all your life. My heart goes out to you in your grief. I wish you the best, and wish comfort, loving peace for your grandmother. Let he handle this as she wishes.
If it were me I would be asking the hospital about hospice and palliative care to make her comfortable and free of pain. I am not a medical professional and can’t advise on how long she might live. No doctor is going to euthanize her unless she lives in one of the 10 US states with legal MAID (medical aid in dying) and she already signed up for it. It’s a lengthy process.
Could she die quietly in her sleep? Again I am no expert, but in my dad’s case, the morphine he received in his final 2 days in hospice calmed him to a very quiet state.
For you I would say, meditate or pray on acceptance of what is. If you can, hold her hand, brush her hair, play some of her favorite music, and tell her how much she means to you. Maybe tell her the story of some of your favorite memories of her. even if she does not respond, she may hear the love in your voice. And you will be glad you did it.
I wish you and your family peace.
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Beset by this dreadful c-diff, appetite leaves, and honestly, whether food is taken or not, the movement through the digestive system is so rapid that few nutrients are absorbed. There was one cure -- briefly --and that was fecal transplants. Look them up. They were often INSTANT cures and still today, research mostly having stalled due to a natural reticence to ingest feces no matter the form--some are doing their OWN fecal transplants. Instructions abound on the internet.
Add to this your poor grandmother has apparently congestive heart failure (left side of the heart, the worst side to get it on, as fluid accumulating in lungs rather than the peripheral vascular system (many have BOTH left and right failure). There is really no cure for a weakening heart pump at this age; the only thing to do is to treat symptoms.
I know that there will be a POA or next of kin now. This person should and apparently has discussed grandmothers end of life wishes; it is time now to make her as comfortable as possible.
Your grandmother has had a long life. I full well know that doesn't make her passing any easier, though it may lessen your grief to be able to celebrate the fullness of a life and the end of suffering and fear of losses.
The best thing you can do now for your grandmother is to HONOR her wishes. And to let her know how much she has meant to you, and how you will remember her for all your life. My heart goes out to you in your grief. I wish you the best, and wish comfort, loving peace for your grandmother. Let he handle this as she wishes.
Grandma is very lucky to have such a sweet caring grandchild.
Nothing more to add , to what alvadear said .
Just be with Grandma and hold her hand, it's the best thing you can do for her.
🙏😥
Could she die quietly in her sleep? Again I am no expert, but in my dad’s case, the morphine he received in his final 2 days in hospice calmed him to a very quiet state.
For you I would say, meditate or pray on acceptance of what is. If you can, hold her hand, brush her hair, play some of her favorite music, and tell her how much she means to you. Maybe tell her the story of some of your favorite memories of her. even if she does not respond, she may hear the love in your voice. And you will be glad you did it.
I wish you and your family peace.