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My husband's neice and her family (total of 2 adults, 2 children) have moved in with his mother to assist with managing the household. The neice is available 24/7, responsible for meals, shopping, and monitoring medications. Her husband tends to the yard but my husband still maintains any issues with the home. We want to be fair in paying wages but also want to consider room and board as we will be paying the wages and my MIL furnishes all room and board. They have no transportation and my MIL's car is available for personal use while my MIL furnishes the gas and pays for all upkeep of the vehicle.

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It is quite refreshing to hear about a pooled effort and concern for all involved. There is actually a legal amount set for an elderly person, in home care, this may differ depending on state. If your M/inlaw were to reside in a NH in NJ it is 335 a day just room and board $10,000 a month. An Adult day care is 90.00 for 7 hours. Maintainance on home is seperate amount allowed by law if in home care is the situation. In home care costs are only for lite house keeping. I recommend your niece keep a log of daily caregiving duties as well as her grandmothers behavior and personality as well as her own emotions etc. and your husband should keep a clear log of payments and interactions with his Mom. So if there is any questions or issues as to what is done you have it recorded. As I was underestimated and underappreciated for my care giving roles, I feel this is a needed process. It may keep the peace so to speak. Although in my situation all anyone cared about was what they were losing and not about what I did to help MOM. Her care was first to me not her assets. Mom is in a great situation for the best quality of her life and I live in peace knowing I was there for her and able to do that. Keep family and lives in mind always and all will be well.
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It is nice to see a family working together and thinking about being fair and working things out up front. This has to put you way ahead of the curve. I think gathering the numbers, talking, be open to ideas and having independent input from an attorney or pastor would be great. I also think regathering every few months to talk about the positives, negatives and express appreciation to everyone for working together would be beneficial. Good luck.
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I'd check with local in-home agencies to get a ball park figure on hourly wages because that wouldn't include room and board. You could shoot a bit lower, as the agency takes a chunk of the pay the caregivers get, but it would give you an idea.
You could also call your local job services and see if they have a wage range for such services.
This sounds beneficial to all if the personalities work out.
Take care,
Carol
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