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my Father sleeps after breakfast till lunch, then after lunch till supper. he stays awake for an hour before dinner, and then, sleeps after supper till early bed time.He wants to go to bed at 7pm and then is awake at 3-4-or5 am. He does not want to read, play games, visit people, talk. He just wants to nap.

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my father is also like that before , but now I gave him an alarm clock w/c I put in his pocket that alarms at 7 a.m started to get up took his barley supplement wait for 30mins.till breakfast , set his alarm clock again every hour to drink a full glass of water , if not ,a slice of fruit like papaya water melon ,pear or pineapple to stay hydratedhe'll do this every hour till lunch ,at 1p.m ate his fruit and slept 2 hrs. at 3pm set his clock again to drink and eat every hour till 7 pm dinner time , walk a little bit around 20 mins.then sleep at 8.30p.m during midnight he eats a snack of boiled egg and sweet potato and a glass of whey,then go back to sleep untill the next morning .back then he sleeps all day without eating breakfast and lunch, that was very depressing .
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my father is also like that before , but now I gave him an alarm clock w/c I put in his pocket that alarms at 7 a.m started to get up took his barley supplement wait for 30mins.till breakfast , set his alarm clock again every hour to drink a full glass of water , if not ,a slice of fruit like papaya water melon ,pear or pineapple to stay hydratedhe'll do this every hour till lunch ,at 1p.m ate his fruit and slept 2 hrs. at 3pm set his clock again to drink and eat every hour till 7 pm dinner time , walk a little bit around 20 mins.then sleep at 8.30p.m during midnight he eats a snack of boiled egg and sweet potato and a glass of whey,then go back to sleep untill the next morning .back then he sleeps all day without eating breakfast and lunch, that was very depressing .
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My mother (66) also sleeps and watches tv most of the time. If she wakes up at a normal time, she often just lies in bed. I've asked her to shower every day, and empty the dishwasher. I say it's for exercise so she can keep her balance.

If she isn't up by noon, I tell her it's time to get up. She has lots of things she can do but doesn't do them. She won't even sit on the porch. She says she will, or she should do this or that, but then doesn't. I don't know if it is the stroke or depression. On the last doc visit, they increased her anti-depressant dosage. So we'll see if that changes anything.
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Thank you for sharing. I am so happy to know im not alone
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My mother is 98. I am 66 and care for her in her home. She sleeps a lot. The possible reason that they are so lethargic is as my Mother's physical therapist explained: Movement creates energy, if you don't move you will not have energy as the body does not store it. At 98 her therapist said she could increase muscle. She has more strength since working with both an Occupational (upper body) and Physical Therapist (lower body). Both come to the house twice a week (total of 4 days). She moving better and faster. But the key is that movement creates energy. I read on another site they need a purpose, but finding it is the key. Have you ever had them sit on the toilet, don't take the diaper down and poop. Yuck!!!!
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Tell him that you will stand around if he isn't going to take care of himself. It is tough love, but he needs it. You are just trying to take care of him and if you are going to you have to have certain expectations. Also, I don't let anyone tell me to shut up, especially if you are helping him. Tell him that the human body was made to do work and that actually we should never even sit down. This is tough, but maybe it will get him to get up. When something bad does happen to him, you are going to have to take care of him. Think that he is difficult now, what until he has a stroke or a heart attack. It happens from sitting or sleeping all the time! Be brave.
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Tell him that you will stand around if he isn't going to take care of himself. It is tough love, but he needs it. You are just trying to take care of him and if you are going to you have to have certain expectations. Also, I don't let anyone tell me to shut up, especially if you are helping him. Tell him that the human body was made to do work and that actually we should never even sit down. This is tough, but maybe it will get him to get up. When something bad does happen to him, you are going to have to take care of him. Think that he is difficult now, what until he has a stroke or a heart attack. It happens from sitting or sleeping all the time! Be brave.
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Well, I have the same problem with my dad, I am glad that I am not alone. I think it is just age, something we will have to put with. Thank you everyone for posting as this makes me feel I am not alone. I thought there was something wrong with him, but I don´t think so. Just old age. Some of your comments made me smile. Thanks.
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I am currently caring for my 87 year old mother in my home. She sleeps until noon and only wakes up because I wake her. It takes me 3 or 4 times of calleing her before she will get up. She eats a little something I have prepared for her and then goes right back to bed when I leave the room. She has not been diagnosed with alzheimers but I wonder. Her memory is pretty good and she has no other health problems except bladder control. She has to wear Depends, but she does not even get up to go to the bathroom. She is currently taking Aricept and Zoloft. Could this be making this problem worse? I am at my wits end.
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To help my dad with showering, we are getting one of those shower seats that fold up when not in use. We purchased a free standing one and it is too large for the shower. I am going to place the soap and wash cloth and brush (he prefers a brush) within reach. He can't stand for very long due to the fact his muscles are getting more and more weak because of his inactivity.
Oh! he does enjoy going to the movies! Last night took to see True Grit and he wasn't able to follow the story line but raved about the scenery! Today he was up half the day! wow!
There are county programs where trained people will come in and assist with bathing. Also, if he is a vet, the VA has programs too. Have to talk to the social worker where he goes. Haven't used that service yet.
We are all in this together! Thanks for the many suggestions.
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It sounds like you need to hire someone to come in to bathe him. As I have written often, I bought a bidet which attaches to the toilet that has two warm water controls. One control sprays water on the front of the bottom and one sprays on the back . Whenever I hear my 98 year old mother go into the bathroom, I give her a couple minutes and then open the door and push one of the buttons. It helps to keep down the smell and helps to clean the area that you do not want to have to clean. I can';t praise that machine enough. Some have heated seats also. While she sits there, I use a washcloth and wash her while the bottom water sprays. By the time I finish, she is clean. It is better to sponge bathe old people if they have difficulty washing themselves. Check at Home Depot or a specialty bath store for the bidet. It might be a little pricey but it is well worth every penny!!
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I've tried the would you like to thing with dad all along but it is always maybe later. There is never a later. He has no hobbies and doesn't even watch TV unless we insist. He doses like to go out to eat, so we take him when we can. I'm sure he is bored but uless he has to use the bathroom he never gets out of bed. He doesn't " wipe "either which means I have extra work on laundry day. Because he doesn't want to shower he will just stand there and then wipe his unwashed behind on my towels. I ask him every time he takes a shower to please wash and use soap but he just egnors us. He has sores on his feet that I keep asking him to wash with soap but that's not what he will do . I am at my wits end.
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I wonder how much of the wanting to sleep all the time is just boredom? Unless the person has a physical problem, like the low testosterone guy. And to that, I would ask a naturopath doctor if there's an alternative to the low testosterone thing that won't be as dangerous. What about Melatonin for the lady that can't sleep? That's what the body makes normally but maybe her body isn't producing it anymore. I'm all for modern drugs, but there HAS got to be an alternative out there besides chemicals right?
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When seniors lose mobility or the ability to concentrate on the things that once interested them, they replace that time with sleep. Their internal clock changes or gets confused, so they are up at the time we would normally sleep.
For my Mom, I found hobbies that she was able to do: crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, and she can still putter around the kitchen. I asked her to try and not sleep in her chair, which she does well most of the time. However, a few months ago, she was sleeping a lot in the day and awake all night. Then she became paranoid that something bad was going to happen to her at night and wanted me to come over and stay with her. It was just that her internal clock was off and she was suffering from sleep deprivation.
Anything you can do to keep your dad awake during the day will help. Can he socialize? Does he enjoy ANY type of hobby, etc.
What usually follows a lack of health and mobility is depression. I would rather try other alternatives to medications...just worsens the problem and they get dependent on the drugs...
good luck,
Lilli
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My dad sleeps all the time or if he's not sleeping he lays there pretending that he is. He is healthy for the most part, he takes a lot of medication, valve replacement back in 95. Doctor has him on antidepressant but that really doesn't do anything for him. They say we are dealing with dementia. He lived alone for awhile but then constantly forgot to take his medication, that's when he came to live with us. He lost his driving privilege not because we wanted to take it away but the mix up in meds one day had him driving the wrong way on a two way street. We are afraid for the families he could kill. When the doctor asks him why he sleeps all the time it is either a shrug or I'm bored. He can't take care of himself any more but we won't put him in a nursing home until we can't handle it any more. He is getting weaker all the time.
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I care for my husbands 98 yr old grandmother and see too sleeps all the time but not at night, she's up just about every 30 to 60 mins. Were on the second sleep aid, the first one just made her loopy this one seems to help a little more but she still gets up. And it seems even if she did sleep most of the night she is still falling asleep while she eats, uses the bathroom and so on. We have tried to keep waking her and getting her up to walk around but as soon as she sits back down she falls right asleep. She tells us she was just resting her eyes!! Most of her medication says mt cause drowsiness, but the doctor wont change any of the other medications. Seems to me that this must be the course they go through! Every person is different and I feel all you can do is just try different things to find the right fit for the person your caring for. Her doctor and her daughter (my MIL) don't feel anything is wrong, but they don't live with it every day. They just say to me she is healthy, but I try and tell them I wont be for long if I don't get the rest I need! So if you have family, friends, or other sources that can help out use them! If your like me and don't have that help just do what you can, thats all you really can do. Good luck to all who are trying to get some sleep! I'll just keep trying different things till I find the one that works for her.
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PT is it possible for mom to have a UTI? Sometimes they will give off a foul odor because even though you have bathed them, they urinate and especially if they are in adult diapers, that odor will cling to their skin. Bad teeth will also give off an odor.
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I feel the same way you do I don't want my house to smell I use a lot of febreeze my mother smells bad. I bath her everyday and at night when its time for bed, I put on her PJ's and she has a bad bad smell i TRY HARD TO KEEP HER CLEAN i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
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I have purchased my father models, airplane magazines, anything he shows an interest in. He may open the magazine or box look it over and that is about it. He will put on his shoes and go out to get the newspaper, sometimes he reads it and other times he gives it to me. He loves watching Lawrence Welk on Sat nights....I have given up trying to keep him busy. It is frustrating! It's hard enough convincing him he needs a shower. Thank goodness for cologne and febreeze! I refuse to have my home smell like "old people" if you know what i mean.
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That is the question that I asked someone who has worked at a nursing home for a long time. My 98 year old mother sleeps all the time just like your father. I have to wake her up for meals. The answer I got is this is normal for most old people. It is part of the journey to getting to the point that they will be staying in the bed and have to have care for everything. They are getting closer to dying. The body is slowly shutting down.
I hope someone else with more knowledge will share information with us on this. I would like to know where hospice comes into the picture, wouldn't you?
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I still don't know how much sleep is too much for the elderly, whether to get my husband (98 and healthy, just sleepy!) up at a reasonable hour in the morning to keep a regular schedule for meals to feed his small appetite or just let him have at it. Today, I let him have at it and he slept 17 hours straight!!! He looked great and at 1:30 in the afternoon he was hungry enough to eat a huge breakfast of bacon, eggs, orange juice, milk, coffee and toast. So maybe it won't matter if he misses lunch and has a good supper. I feel so responsible that he have good nutrition, and feel guilty when I can't get him to eat enough protein. The sleeping thing I've found --at least in my husband, has a lot to do with boredom. And don't we caretakers feel responsible for keeping them interested in things! I spent several years trying to get him interested in this and that, but the fact is, he has reached the time of life when he is content to just sit or sleep and be let be. But back to the boredom issue, I hit on two things that keep him awake during the day --he likes to read during the morning --even though he may snooze every few pages! He never was much of a tv watcher during the day, but we recently got the Western movie channel --no commercials and he will stay awake all afternoon watching it. Fortunately, he has earphones so I don't have to listen! Never- theless I think I will let him sleep as long as he will in the mornings to see if it makes a difference in his alertness once awake. I'll let you know.
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It's wonderful that you are caring for you mil! It did interrupt my day but now, I just let him be. He too likes to go out for dinner.
If I am going to run a lot of errands, then off I go but I do leave him a note. He will go for a walk if I go too but you know how slow that can be but what the heck anyway. At least I know there is some exercise. He has a cane to lean on when he needs to stop and rest.
My husband took him to the store and he loved driving the cart. Felt useful in that he was 'driving' the groceries....so I am learning ever so slowly.
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Frustrating isn't it? My mil, whom I am caring for, will only read her daily newspaper, The Enquirer, and watch tv. Of course she ALWAYS wants to go shoppy-shoppy or out to eat! My husband and I have tried everything we can think of to offer her outings and she turns them all down. So, my question to most of you is, does this sleeping interfere with your daily routine? If it does and makes caring for them difficult then you may have to find some way to "wake" them up. If your loved one is living with you then I take it there is some form of dementia going on. How much sleep do the elderly need? I think as much as they want. Make sure they have had check-ups and there are no other health issues to address, then let them sleep! They all start to slow down....isn't a grand thing to see or know that this is happening but it does. My mil is getting weaker by the day.....woke up this morning and couldn't hardly walk more than 5 ft without having to sit down. She has been on the couch most of the day. And she hasn't eaten although she swears she had 3 pancakes for breakfast. So she hasn't lost her ability to argue yet!

nbwed1, did you try a different anti-depressant for your father? Where one won't work another might. Talk to his doctor, he/she will sit down with you and discuss your Dad's care and some options to try. If he/she won't do that it is time to find a new doctor.
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Thank you so much...that is good news! Yet how do you get them in the car? My dad will just turn around and head back to his room if he doesn't want to do something?!
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newtonjoyce - my mother is 86 and fought me when I introduced adult day care two days a week. That was 2 years ago and now she attends 5 days a week. Stick with it and just know that you're not alone.
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Well, it's tough taking care of a parent, that's for sure. I got Dad signed up for adult day care for two days a week where he could socialize and do activities. They allowed him to take a nap but then would encourage him to get up. He didn't want anything to do with it and refused to go after a few times. He felt "trapped". He will go get the paper and mail but refuses to do much more. Funny thing though when we travel or do errands he won't sleep but will stay awake night and day! He's says he is afraid he is going to miss something. So you see, It is his choice to sleep. I can't make a 200 lb man do anything. He will tell me to "shut up" if I say something he doesn't like such as be sure to drink all your water so you don't get constipated again. Or I encourage excerise and he says that's "foolishness." So I do the best I can, what more can we do but encourage each other and use this site as a sounding board and continue to look for answers in others comments. You're all awesome and will be blessed.
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My mother was not a sleeper. She was up all day and unfortunately sometimes at night. Some of my grandma's (I call them all grandma because I never knew my grandma and it gives me pleasure and them likewise) sleep like that. I have noticed that the one's that do are on different types of medication, which could be the cause. The only medication my mom took was her eye drops, blood pressure pills and the Aricept. I think it is a good idea to check out the medications to make sure they are not causing drowsiness. It is important if you can to get them to move so they want become stiff.
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I probably should have added (in my earlier post) that my father was also first put on anti-depressants and then night-time oxygen. Only the testosterone injections seem to help him feel better...and they, apparently, are dangerous to continue...
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nbwed1
If I hear the word ANTI-DEPRESSANT again, I am gonna scream. My mother is the COMPLETE opposite. She never sleeps (average she sleeps is 3 hr/nite). If I am lucky once in a while she might take about hr nap doing day. My mother NEVER sits still but moments at a time. I have addressed this with the doctor and all he wants to give her is anti-depressants, they do nothing but make her disoriented and cry.The dr has refused to give her anything to help her sleep. OTC sleep aids don't help. Doctors don't care. In your case there might be an underlying problem. I personally had health issues that caused me to be slugish and tired all the time. I thought it was just stress taking care of mom. However, I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I went on a CPAP machine at nite within a few days I felt so good. Before my diagnoses I was told by 2 drs that I was just depressed and needed Anit-depressants(boy was they wrong)Last year I had a operation to open my obstructed airway so at this time I no longer need CPAP machine at night. .If your father has good insurance and able to do so take him to a different doctor or two and DEMAND answers!!! good luck!!
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yes, we tried the anti depressant as well. Made no difference.
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