My husband has dementia and he hates to shower or to wash. He fights with me everytime I take him to the shower. Yes, I wipe him and give him sponge baths, but that can only go far. Everyone needs a shower to wash away the odor and dead skin. How do I do this with engaging in a battle with him? Anyone with similar issues?
To the OP. The last several months that Luz was at home with me, I applied all of the advice given here. But what worked for us was to use the step-in bath tub.
She loved it. Even when she developed hesitation with stepping up the six inches to get into HER tub.
You might try contacting some rehab or therapy businesses to see if they have a step in tub you might be able to rent for an hour or so even if you have to pay for a therapist with it, to supervise.
I can tell you that Luz loved her time spent in that tub. It was no less than an hour each time. That included her washing the tile walls with her bare hands.
I wish the best to both of you.
Old sailor, your Luz was a truly blessed wife. All of your care and love towards her is truly heartwarming and inspiring.
http://1000awesomethings.com/2011/01/21/325-jumping-through-the-sprinkler-in-your-bathing-suit/
When she has an appointment, everything she can think of is attempted ('Do I have to go?', 'What do I need that for?', 'Why do I need that?', 'I don't want to go.' and repeat.) I finally have to be the mom and say put your coat on and let's go. Then it's off to the bathroom, and when done, repeat the above, because she's already forgotten it!
Hiring a bath aide is a wonderful idea if you can afford to do so. Most home care aides have 3 or 4 hour minimums, so maybe you could plan a day a week or so to get help or to take a break while the aide is on duty.
Does he have a bench seat or shower chair to sit on? If not that might be helpful.
Do you have a hand held shower sprayer? If so start as his feet and go up. When you get to torso go from behind so the spray is not hitting the chest and face. These are two "vulnerable" areas and can cause fear.
Give him control over the sprayer if possible so he can direct the water where it is comfortable for him.
When my Husband was walking I purchased used walkers from resale stores and put them in the shower for him to hold onto. He was more apt to hold a walker than grab onto the grab bars since he was used to the walker. But he did use the grab bars once in a while. When he was no longer walking I used a shower wheelchair. (I have a roll in shower...lucky me!)
The bathroom can be noisy. So when you don't need the water on turn it off so it is more quiet.
Talk to him in a low soothing voice. Actually lower the pitch of your voice as higher pitched voices can seem harsher. If he likes music soft music might help but be careful as sounds can bounce off walls in the bathroom making noises seem louder.
And do not worry about showering every day. In my State it is required only 2 times a week in residential facilities so if you get in 2 great if you get 3 in you're doing better than State minimum standards! And bathing every day may not be the best for fragile skin anyway.
If all else fails you could hire someone to come in 2X a week to give him a shower.
I'm like you in that I think people need a good scrub at least once a week. Otherwise, they smell and the bed linens smell. When I tell my Mother that she smells bad, she is much more agreeable to getting cleaned up. My Dad has someone from home health come in twice a week and this works well for him. His doctor prescribed home health.
Do you have a shower chair? Is your bathroom bright? That can cause a person to not be able to determine where the floor, the walls etc are and can increase their chances of falling. Does he have to step into the tub or do you have a walk in shower. There are lots of mechanical aides available to help and increase safety, if you haven't done it, talk to his doctor and ask them for a occupational therapist referral, they will help you get the bathroom to the best possible condition for dealing with a difficult bather.
Best of luck. Hugs to you!
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your hubby is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Then if hubby needs to blow dry his hair, that can be tiring on his arms.
Whew !!
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. I found a good product called "water wipes" which is in the baby section.
My husband has dementia and he hates to shower or to bathe. He fights with me everytime I take him to the shower. Yes, I wipe him and give him sponge baths, but that can only go so far. Everyone needs to shower to wash away the odor and dead skin. How do I do this without engaging in a battle with him?
Anyone with similar issues? Tips?