My grandma was the type of person who always liked having people around and would cook lunch or dinner for her guests. Now I come around and the best response I get is a grunt and she usually retreats to her room. It’s not just me she does this too now. Mostly females in the family. I keep my horses at their place and so am around a fair bit, my grandpa just had a knee surgery as well so I come to help. Any ideas how to deal with this behaviour?
2) Continue to be kind and pleasant.
3) Avoid conflicts if at all possible.
There is no rhyme or reason to Alzheimer’s disease. You can’t figure out or make sense of why the one who has it says or does what they do. And you can’t take it personally. As we always say, “their brains are broken”. To them, how they feel is very real and makes sense. They don’t understand about delusions or hallucinations, and we only make it more difficult on ourselves if we try to rationalize what they say and how they act and compare it to how they were in the past. Don’t patronize Grandma. Be yourself. Down deep, she loves you and somewhere inside her heart and soul she knows who you are.
1 - she is confusing you & others with someone she doesn't like so is snarky towards all females [does this include young girls?]
2 - you & others in your family are being good people, so you are helping out with things that she used to do easily but can't any longer so she is jealous of that ability - the reason it is only females is that WOMEN HELP WITHOUT BEING ASKED especially within a family - so she sees it as interloping on her turf - guys need to be asked most of the time so she is conveying permission to do the chore as it is done each & every time - small stuff to you but not to her
Or it could a combination of both - observe her by also try by asking 'permission' to help - say things like 'do you want me to do ....?' or 'can I do anything else for you?' - hope this helps
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