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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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It's known as Inappropriate Sexual Behavior *ISB* and is common with dementia, unfortunately. Speak to his doctor right away as there is medication available to curb his appetite. Don't sit still for this.....just because his mind isn't working properly doesn't mean YOU have to deal with this issue!
Ugh. I know how difficult this was for you to write. Before my husband (who doesn’t have dementia) became incontinent and sex became unhygienic, he was the same way. And there was no affection, which made it worse. I got to the point I didn’t “cooperate” and just let him sulk. I’d even walk out of the room.
When my mother, the World’s Biggest Prude, suffered with dementia, she talked about nothing but sex. When I left her facility, I wanted to come home and take a shower. I didn’t encourage or participate in her “conversations”. I just went away mentally to a more pleasant place.
I was astounded to see the words "inappropriate sexual behavior" in a post last night. I have been suffering in silence for the last two ad a half years with my husband who is 84 and has vascular dementia.
I am 80 and his sole caretaker with no access to anybody who can give me a break to get away. I have not talked to anybody about this, because frankly I've been ashamed to mention it. I had not even considered that a doctor could prescribe something that would change his behavior. Tomorrow morning I will call his doctor and ask about a magical pill that would make my life easier.
This appears to be very common. My mothers conversation always took a sexual turn and it totally repulsed me. LOL I knew it was the dementia talking, but it still made me very uncomfortable hearing how her physical therapist was "putting her into sexual positions."
A coworker of mine said her husband with dementia would not leave her alone. She said she had to wait until he was asleep to get undressed and ready for bed because he was all over her. They have been married for 45 years, but when someone's mind is gone, things change. They are not the same person and you are in caregiving mode with someone who is no longer mentally sound. It is totally understandable that you are no longer sexually interested.
Talk with his doctor because there is medication that can curb his sexual advancements.
Firm boundaries. Decide what you will tolerate, and will not accept, and honor your choices by being consistent. Own your preferences and make no apologies for them. As the caregiver, take charge of the circumstances, with expectations that are clear and non-negotiable. You have the right to manage your environment to the greatest extent possible.
With all of that said, I make two disclaimers as follows: (1) I know less about dementia than I know about PD, which is my husband’s specific issue. (2) I have realized in recent years that our 32+ years of marriage are no guarantee that we will continue with the same degree of intimacy.
After his diagnosis 11 years ago, my romantic feelings declined as my caregiver duties increased. Very gradually at first, and then more hurriedly. Fullness of love remains, although I now feel very little attraction to him, nor much spark of desire. It’s unsettling for both of us, yet to me it seems to be a natural evolution in the nature of our roles. It’s uncharted territory for us, regardless.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck!
When my mother, the World’s Biggest Prude, suffered with dementia, she talked about nothing but sex. When I left her facility, I wanted to come home and take a shower. I didn’t encourage or participate in her “conversations”. I just went away mentally to a more pleasant place.
I am 80 and his sole caretaker with no access to anybody who can give me a break to get away. I have not talked to anybody about this, because frankly I've been ashamed to mention it. I had not even considered that a doctor could prescribe something that would change his behavior. Tomorrow morning I will call his doctor and ask about a magical pill that would make my life easier.
A coworker of mine said her husband with dementia would not leave her alone. She said she had to wait until he was asleep to get undressed and ready for bed because he was all over her. They have been married for 45 years, but when someone's mind is gone, things change. They are not the same person and you are in caregiving mode with someone who is no longer mentally sound. It is totally understandable that you are no longer sexually interested.
Talk with his doctor because there is medication that can curb his sexual advancements.
With all of that said, I make two disclaimers as follows: (1) I know less about dementia than I know about PD, which is my husband’s specific issue. (2) I have realized in recent years that our 32+ years of marriage are no guarantee that we will continue with the same degree of intimacy.
After his diagnosis 11 years ago, my romantic feelings declined as my caregiver duties increased. Very gradually at first, and then more hurriedly. Fullness of love remains, although I now feel very little attraction to him, nor much spark of desire. It’s unsettling for both of us, yet to me it seems to be a natural evolution in the nature of our roles. It’s uncharted territory for us, regardless.