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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Psychiatrists do prescriptions--manage them, that is. They do not do 'talk therapy' which may be what you LO needs, along with possibly meds. Most PCP's don't want to manage psych meds.
My DH saw a resident psychiatrist who was affiliated with the Hospital and so she WAS doing talk therapy as part of her training. She graduated and so DH was kind of left in the lurch. He has stayed on his meds (I call him on it when I know he's trying to sneaky pete his way out of taking them)..I wish he could find a therapist he liked--but he's happier and better, for the most part, so I don't rock the boat.
What did it take, initially, for him to get help?
Me, on my knees (LITERALLY) crying in front of him as he lay in bed, pillow over his head to try to ignore me. I really let him have it, how HARD it was to see him emotionally so sad and there was HELP--and finally saying I was going to leave him b/c I was not going to live with his misery one more day.
It was humiliating.
BUT... Next day, he was actually able to get in to see this Dr. and was immediately put on AD's and was dxed as being 'severely depressed'.
He is not the man I married at all. But, he's not laying in bed all day, 4 days a week. I hope he finds a new therapist. Actually the one he saw gave him enough 'tools' that if he ever READ the stuff she gave him, it would really help.
Years of trying to be kind, sweet, mean, ignoring, supporting his sadness just wore me out. I'm not proud of the crying fit I threw, but he is terrified I would leave him.
Initially, I think for you, a trip to the PCP's and a referral to a psych doc is in order.
Truthfully, you cannot MAKE anyone do something they just don't want to do.
It's impossible to convince them if they are dead set against it. You can bring it up at the next doctor appointment and see if they could convince them. I tried doing that with my mom but mom wouldn't listen to them either. My mother's situation was difficult because her doctor was hesitant to prescribe anything because of any conflict that would arise from her Parkinson's meds. So she was always flustered by her anxiety and depression. Her doctor wanted her to see a neurological psychiatrist but she refused. I do feel that seeing a psychiatrist is the correct thing for patients rather than the primary doctor prescribing psych meds.
It's difficult to get someone to see a doctor, if they aren't inclined. Has your dad been diagnosed with anxiety and depression? My dad was actually prescribed meds for that by his Primary doctor. He recommended followup with a psychiatrist, which my dad did do. There wasn't much that she did really. She said that counseling might help, but, she wasn't that adamant about it. We returned a couple more times, but, his Primary oversees his meds. I'm not sure how common that is, but, it's worked so far. My dad just isn't that keen on seeing a counselor who'll probably be about 28 years old, to discuss his issues at 82. lol He does take his meds though, and gets blood work done regularly. I suppose that they help. I just think that it's tough for seniors when they have mobility and health problems. Life is tough at that age. I'm trying to think of any in that age range that I know who don't suffer with anxiety and depression.
If you can get your dad in to see his physician or gerontologist, come prepared with a pre-written note explaining your concerns and pass to his nurse or staff as you are signing in for his appointment. Not a long note. This way your dad won't think the idea came from you and he may be more open to it.
Instead of a psychiatrist why not his geriatrician, or a doctor level therapist? There are those and may be less frightening and intimidating for him. A practice i used to go to had several masters level therapists and just one doctor level therapist that could prescribe. His doctor may be associated with a psychiatrist that could recommend and prescribe with oversight and monitoring by his GP.
Lv? We discovered that as my mom got older, it was virtually impossible to "comvince" her that anything new was a good idea.
We discovered that sometimes if her doctor told her she needed to do something (see a specialist, take a med) she might agree, but what was most successful saying "mom, now it's time to...:"
I would make an appointment for dad to see a psychiatrist and take him to the appointment with you. Tall to the doctor, with dad, about your observations about his sadness and anxiety.
Some folks might say "oh, but he'll be angry with you". To which I say "so what?"
If you can't withstand some anger from your parent, you haven't really grown up.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My DH saw a resident psychiatrist who was affiliated with the Hospital and so she WAS doing talk therapy as part of her training. She graduated and so DH was kind of left in the lurch. He has stayed on his meds (I call him on it when I know he's trying to sneaky pete his way out of taking them)..I wish he could find a therapist he liked--but he's happier and better, for the most part, so I don't rock the boat.
What did it take, initially, for him to get help?
Me, on my knees (LITERALLY) crying in front of him as he lay in bed, pillow over his head to try to ignore me. I really let him have it, how HARD it was to see him emotionally so sad and there was HELP--and finally saying I was going to leave him b/c I was not going to live with his misery one more day.
It was humiliating.
BUT...
Next day, he was actually able to get in to see this Dr. and was immediately put on AD's and was dxed as being 'severely depressed'.
He is not the man I married at all. But, he's not laying in bed all day, 4 days a week. I hope he finds a new therapist. Actually the one he saw gave him enough 'tools' that if he ever READ the stuff she gave him, it would really help.
Years of trying to be kind, sweet, mean, ignoring, supporting his sadness just wore me out. I'm not proud of the crying fit I threw, but he is terrified I would leave him.
Initially, I think for you, a trip to the PCP's and a referral to a psych doc is in order.
Truthfully, you cannot MAKE anyone do something they just don't want to do.
I do wish you luck. It's hard.
It's a challenge, for sure.
Should he go to a gerontologist? Can they help?
We discovered that sometimes if her doctor told her she needed to do something (see a specialist, take a med) she might agree, but what was most successful saying "mom, now it's time to...:"
I would make an appointment for dad to see a psychiatrist and take him to the appointment with you. Tall to the doctor, with dad, about your observations about his sadness and anxiety.
Some folks might say "oh, but he'll be angry with you". To which I say "so what?"
If you can't withstand some anger from your parent, you haven't really grown up.