My Mom is 92 and in pretty good shape for her age. She is fairly independent. She eats like a bird and then complains of feeling weak and tired all the time. Any suggestions for getting her to eat more? I live with her and am tired of pushing her to eat more.
I eat maybe a bowl of cereal and toast, bagel or a tea biscuit with jelly for breakfast. No lunch, just snack on stuff. Usually my sweet time. Then I have dinner I cook or we eat out. No snacks at night. I don't eat over 1500 cal a day. I am 74.
Write down what Mom eats in a day. You may be surprised she is getting the calories she needs. Boost is a good way to add to her diet. I put the choco. One in the freezer for an hr or so. It thickens up like a milk shake, pretty good. The colder that stuff is the better.
Mom may need labs done. She could be anemic. Potassium could be low especially if she takes water pills. Thyroid problems too. Then u can mention her appetite. There is medication for stimulating it.
First I'd investigate a little about why she isn't eating to make sure it isn't something you can correct like a dental or oral problem, stomach upsets or bowel difficulties. If her calorie intake is really too low this is what those nutritional supplements like ensure and boost were invented for, beyond that you can focus on adding easier to eat higher calorie foods to your meals (smaller meals plus snacks may help too).
At this age, why would you worry about how much and what your elder is eating? There is little likelihood at my age of 81 someone will write my obit opining that I died much too young. We all are headed the same place. I would think at 92 we should be able to eat whatever we like, personally.
My MIL has lived on 300-400 cals a day for 9 months now. She lost some weight in the beginning, but is (unbelievably!!) stable now. Goes to show--we probably eat way more than we really need.
Also, if she feels 'guilty' b/c one of the kids brings her food, she'll try to eat and then she vomits it all up.
Basically, she's living on BOOST. And 1-8 oz Diet Coke per day.
Maybe put out snacks that she likes so she can snack during the day without the production or effort of cooking.
If she is weak and tired all the time it might not be because she isn't eating enough it may be an underlying health issue or a reaction to meds she is taking.
Bring her a frozen pumpkin swirl coffee drink from Dunkin Donuts. One serving has 980 calories in it. Shocking, I know. 🙄
Bring home pot pies from Boston Market which are also calorie dense.
Kentucky Fried Chicken extra crispy is another ridiculously high calorie food.
Keep the portions SMALL, but the calories HIGH...thats the key with people who don't like to eat much.
I also concentrated on high calorie and not necessary volume. So, it was about what she ate and drank, not how much. I tried to measure the calories since she would not eat three meals a day.
It is a challenge for sure. Good luck,
I have learned that the principles of traditional diets are very helpful in designing a good dietary regimen, (www.westonaprice.org).
I'm a nurse that works with seniors. Appetite often dwindles.
They seem to enjoy shakes. Make them healthy. I made one with blueberries, threw some kale in,
and the patient never knew.
Hope this helps.
I would be attentive to the matter but not worry too much right now.
Bless you for all you do for your Mom.
But the average life expectancy is 76.4 years. Your mom already beat the odds :)
I did that with my mother. She always had something in her mouth..
Unfortunately the LBD has taken away her ability to understand the importance of good nutrition or to see the correlation between nutrition and how she feels. Luckily she has a doctor that was able to find a good "work around." We are able to treat two issues at once - the depression and her appetite. I'm not in any way saying this is a fix for everyone. However, it might be worth a conversation with her doctor. Best wishes!
Keep in mind that she is probably not expending calories like you or I do.
After a few weeks in the hospital and fighting a UTI can change a person.
While she was "fairly independent" before that has probably changed.
She may continue to decline and if she does she will eat less and less as her body will not need the energy it did before.
To push her to eat more than her body can process can cause problems. the food may come up possibly causing aspiration pneumonia or it can become bound up in the intestins or colon. (either may result in the need for surgery if it is not naturally eliminated)
Offer many little "snacks"
High calorie foods that she likes.
Forget the notion of a "well balanced diet"
Let her eat what she wants and when she wants.
Place a little fridge near where she likes to sit. Keep it stocked with things she likes.
You made the comment that you "dont want her to wittle away"
She WILL stop eating and drinking. This is a part of End Of Life.
PLEASE do not have a feeding tube or IV's placed to provide fluids and nutrion that her body will not need. To do so can cause pain and discomfort.
(Check out Hospice Nurse Julie on YouTube she has a lot of information on artificial nutrition at EOL)
I did tempt him with ice cream, and got him to drink a glass of milk with each meal, which provided more calories, and needed vitamins and calcium.
After he died at 91, I realized he also had some trouble swallowing, which is not unusual with dementia, but perhaps with just aging also. So, soups, shakes, and other liquids were easier than meats and vegetables to swallow.
It's not worth hasseling; let her eat what she wants.
-Have her thyroid checked. If she is on meds for thyroid, they may need adjusting.
-Also B vitamins are very important. Make sure her doctor checks them or explains why they aren’t being checked.
-A good multi vitamin can make a difference.
-See if her doctor will order therapy and test her joints, strength etc.
While my mom was in rehab I noticed she was eating with her left hand. I asked her why, she said her right arm wouldn’t work. She had “drop arm” and then later I was shown on X-ray that her rotator cuff was out of place. She had OT for the rest of her life and was able to use her right arm. When something doesn’t work right we have a tendency to quit using it. Especially if the person is not a complainer or has any mental decline. My mom was the type not to mention it because she would have already decided if was “just worn out”. That part was true but what she didn’t know was that therapy would help.
-DH aunt has dementia and is bed bound. She could feed herself easily until a few months ago. It wasn’t noticed that she wasn’t able to feed herself as well. We did notice that she was losing weight and had started appetite stimulate. she had speech therapy to make sure she was swallowing okay. No problem there. Then thinking the appetite stimulate wasn’t working, we changed it. One day I had taken her a chocolate shake, her favorite. Her hands were tucked under the covers so I held the shake where she could drink it.. In the past she objected to anyone trying to feed her. This time no objection. She was really enjoying the shake. I asked her hospice nurse to put an order in to start feeding her. That was the issue. She needed help eating. I know it sounds ridiculous that this was the case and it hadn’t been noticed. By the way, CNAs were reporting that she was eating. She was trying to eat but just disturbing the food. Not much making it to her mouth.
-even with all that, when I was there yesterday I noticed an ensure type drink open on her tray. It was in an opened carton, like a small milk carton…Just sitting there. When I did her laundry I noticed several of her white undershirts looked like they had spilled all over them an off white liquid. (alike baby formula). I assume she was trying to drink from the carton and it spilled. Another round of training the new CNAs and telling the kitchen not to just drop off a drink w/o letting the CNA know. (Sorry, a little side vent here). My point is, she may find it difficult or tiresome to feed herself. she may not have noticed this herself, just doesn’t feel like eating. Another reason to simplify her food, don’t serve too much, cut into small attractive bites, put it near where she sits, etc and know that it doesn’t take a lot of food for someone who is just sitting.
But be careful if you feed her. Both my parents died of aspiration pneumonia. Take it slow and easy. Don’t rush her.
It does wear the caregiver down trying to see that they get what they need, so I completely understand your post.
I would get her a good check up, try the therapy and not say too much about it to her.
Make sure she weighs on a regular basis so you have a guideline as to how big a problem it is. Check her BMI to see if she is considered underweight for her height. (although BMI is getting a lot of push back these days as not a valid measure, it is what most doctors still use.).
Many small snacking meals.
Aim for calorie dense choices. Try new restaurants. Watch cooking shows together and cook together if she is able.
It’s more fun to eat things you make. Make homemade ice cream and jam from scratch. Have her teach you her specialties. Make foods her mom cooked or things she used to cook and eat when she was younger.
Buy vintage cookbooks from thrift stores and explore time travel through food.
She is 94. Recently broke her leg and was hospitalized for hyponatremia low salt so food is extremely important.
she had to go into skilled rehab. I worked hard with the diet Titian in the kitchen to get her the food that she needed. I couldn’t be at the rehab every meal.
I also signed a release for a ring camera so that I could watch her eat her meals. She does eat some thing off of every meal and a lot of ensure shakes. She is on iron and vitamin D.