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I am feeling your angst!!! My mom is only 80, and getting her to eat is a slippery battle! (She’s only 80, and has only been in me and my sisters care for barley reaching the 1 yr mark) Me & my twin sister have come up with some pretty reliable go to’s (generally! But some days it’s a total fail…. BUT when she gets hungry enough, she’ll eat!)
*Lots of days She’d rather snack than have real meals: so we have made her custom made “snack trays” that we know she’ll eat (cheese&crackers, ham&cheese, etc.)
*Size of plate & portions is a major issue: she eats better from a desert sized plate with child like portions
*Size of the cut of food is also a major issue: whatever “it” is she will pass if it’s “too big” (ex: stir fry veges, if it’s a full sprig of broccoli = PASS, BUT, if that sprig of broccoli is cut up into teensy portions = devoured)
*LOTS of days, her first response to any food presented is “oh nooo, I’m too (insert excuse) to want to eat”. So, I ignore it, continue prepping the food (cause dads gotta eat, too) and re-present the meal like 15 minutes later - It’s about a 60% positive result when I re-present.
It’s a process!
sending hugs your way!
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I might have answered this already.

Make her a really good tasting milkshake with - if she loves chocolate - lots of cocoa (and malt) and add bananas for creaminess and it is a really good source of nutrients.

Perhaps she loves fruit ... whatever she likes - make it a milkshake.
You can toss in a little of a lot of nutrients, ie protein powder, cinnamin, collogen and lots more - in small quantities. She won't notice over the main ingredient - whether its chocolate or fresh strawberries / strawberry 100% fruit jams.

Also consider the SIZE of the portion. Since she doesn't want to eat, put it in a very small glass with a straw or however will work best. If she is motivated with you eating with her, join her.

The liquid could be milk, almond milk, juice - whatever works.

You cannot push her. That is counter-productive. And, she is 92.
She likely doesn't feel much like eating.
Give her a brownie.
Some people are not food motivated (like dogs ... and I LOVE dogs - no disrespect here).

Gena / Touch Matters
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Summernole: Concentrate on getting mom to eat even small amounts of calorie dense foods.
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her primary doctor could and should recommend a prescription
for appetite. My husband's doctor put him in touch with Hospice care. The nurse prescribed MESTROL ACET 40 mg/ml. He takes it every morning and evening and he is eating much better and gaining weight.
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Summernole Sep 2023
Thanks. I'll ask about this.
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try to get her to drink protein shakes like Ensure or Boost. Also soups you make yourself with limited to no salt. Anything else, puree in blender. She probably developing swallowing problems. Hugs :)
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My Mom is almost 92 and I deal with the same thing. Drinks hardly anything too which has causes weakness, fatigue, and uti's. I bribe her with desert. If she eats even a few tablespoons of dinner she gets dessert. I also have found that offering her many small snacks in between meals helps. She said her taste buds are off and that sweets is all that appeals to her. At this point any food is fuel for her. Peanut butter and jelly seems to be her go to. If I was not here with her she would not attempt to eat or drink at all. She does drink boosts every day.
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Summernole Sep 2023
It is so sad that we have to convince them to eat and drink. Thank you for your perspective, Friend72.
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Save yourself and mother a lot of anxiety and grief by simply honoring her choices about eating. Period. As for her saying she's weak/ tired, at 92 she most likely is; and eating more most likely would not help that.
Sometimes elders say things like that because they actually do not feel well and cannot describe it any other way. Be sure that her PCP is kept informed and she is being assessed by PCP regularly as needed. You may also benefit from getting some type of in home care services to help with her ; often they can offer good support for patient and family members. Practice good self care for you ! Let her have her dignity and patient rights honored by choosing what and when and amount that she eats.
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My mom's care giver makes her a great lunch of food my mom enjoys but she just didn't eat much of it. She had the great idea to serve it to her on a TV tray in front of the TV instead of in the kitchen and now she eats the whole thing. Not sure why but maybe because she wanted to get to a place where she was more comfortable and can take her time.
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Summernole

Hello are you taking care of yourself (first,)

Blessings 🙏. Suggestions I used fix foods she likes best. Even if it's every day. Reduce her plate to a saucer. ( times they see big plate to much food )

Do she eat alone, if so try eating with her . Lonely for company remembering family ate together.

Place about 4 crackers or granola bar cut in small bites size. and small water in living room while watching television . Daily
Change it with other items she like nutritional. Even Cheerios excellent .

Try this for a week, just tell her Incase you want a snake Eventually she will indulge.

Respectfully
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