Hello. I thank this thoughtful and kind group of helpful people.
I recently moved my dad from one nursing home to another due to his funds running low. When I placed him about 14 months ago I had all intentions of keeping him there indefinitely, although the rate was increased twice in under one year by quite a lot (from 5,200 to 5500, then 6200). They don’t have semi-private options, and gave notice that they would again be reviewing rates.
I can’t remember their exact wording but it was implied that they expected goodbye tips. I zelled the manager 650 dollars to split up amongst 12 workers as she saw fit. No thank you. She just said, "funds received, Gretchen." After thinking about it, I almost wish I hadn’t bothered.
Am I wrong or being stingy? How could have I done a better job at this?
If you were local I'd have given cash in envelopes to each worker personally.
direction, set him up with the resourses and people, but thats where my help would have stopped. He madevhis bed.
But you did what you thought was right for you. You can say you did enough. Its OK to be glad when he leaves this world. A lot of the members and former members have had those feelings.
It’s possibly a good idea not to forget this, because no-one else will know if something criminal is going on. On the other hand, you might just want to walk away from it all.
Such a guilt trip they tried to put me on when I gave them notice that I would be transferring him.
Of course part of me felt guilty because he could no longer afford the “fancier” place, but I’m nearly 60 myself and simply cannot pour my life savings towards his care.
Thank you again and best to you
Sorry but 😆, "funds received"
Never heard of such a thing. Good thing he is out of this place.
My “dad” took off in 1972 and left me and my mom on food stamps.
I can’t wait until hospice calls me to say he’s deceased. Please try not to judge; I’m subsidizing his care at this point and want my life back. He refused to discuss his wishes so no Medicaid for a few more years.
Thank you for your thoughtful response.
I assume you are talking about an Assisted Living not a nursing home. The way I showed my appreciation when Mom was in her AL was to bake something and put it in the staff lunch room. I think asking for a tip is rude. If Dad had certain aides he liked, I may slip them a gift card. But usually aides in facilities are not allowed to except gifts. I think this country is getting out of hand when it comes to tipping. I tip a waitress and the amount I tip depends on the service. I tip them because they don't make minimum wage. They depend on those tips. I tipped the delivery guys because they took my old loveseat and moved it down steps to another room. I tip when appropriate. In NJ, minimum wage is now $15.00. No can't live on it but not bad for a highschool or college student who is flipping burgers at McDonalds. Some states are still under $10.
When I had him admitted of course I had no way to predict how long his stay would be. Severe heart failure with an ejection fraction of under 10%, and multiple hospitalizations for drinking and falling. He’s also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia ( decades ago). He was a lot more than a handful for the staff to manage.