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He is 88 and goes to bed around 9:30pm and gets up around 9:30 with my prodding, sometimes later. I give him breakfast or lunch, depending on when he gets up. Then after he eats, he lies down on the sofa and sleep on and off thru out the afternoon. I get him off the sofa around 5 and we have dinner at 7.
He doesn't have any desire to do anything. Is this lack of motivation causing him to sleep?

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Not "lack of motivation" as we usually think of it. He is not lazy or lacking in discipline or bored. He has dementia. Dementia is behind his lack of activity.

Describe this to his doctor. Show a schedule. See if there is anything medical that might be tried. For example, my husband (with Lewy Body Dementia) took a nighttime drug to allow him to sleep, and a daytime pill to combat excessive daytime sleepiness. I know a lot of people resist using drugs, but I was happy to have my dear soulmate up and alert with me, drugs or no drugs.

Another thing his doctors can check is whether any of his current meds are contributing to this lethargy and if some adjustments can be made.

Also try scheduling some more stimulating activities. Consider a Day Health Program. Even one afternoon a week might give him enough of a change of pace to be useful.

Ask him to keep you company in the kitchen while you make brownies or prepare dinner, and talk about old times.

His lack of desire to do anything is beyond his control. It is the dementia causing this. But you and/or his doctors may be able to overcome the dementia enough for him to have a better quality of life, and you to have a more satisfying relationship with him.

Keep firmly in mind that this is Not Your Fault, and that it is Not His Fault. I hope you can find some improvements, but however this works out, PLEASE leave any feelings of guilt totally out of this.
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Let's just skip the dimensia 88 he's 9ld he's on his own time in a res try home not much different you don't wake up they clean you and let you sleep you wake up long enough to be feed and poo great if not its didies and a feeding tube your wheeled out in the hall to sleep as they clean the idea is to help you stay a wake but you sleep becous.e its boarding be glad he's at home and happy sharing his last bits of this world with you and god bless you for your care
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Be thankful you are taking care of him. Nursing home would just let him stay in bed all day and get bed sores and contractures.
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I think it is fairly normal. My husband sleeps a lot too. He goes to bed about 7, and gets up about 9 in the morning. He often falls asleep in his chair. I feel a lot of it is boredom and I do feel bad about it. He is more awake and alert since the coconut oil but he still naps a lot. We both have problems walking and we both walk with walkers. He doesn't drive anymore so I do the driving. It is hard to go places when we don't walk well, and don't have lots of money to spend. I don't know where we would go though if we did have a lot of money to spend. I feel like if I could find something to stimulate him more he wouldn't sleep so much. We do talk a lot more than we used to but his main entertainment is tv. And he often gets confused with the programs. He does like game shows. He doesn't read anymore, he says he can't understand what he reads. He doesn't like to go riding because he is afraid of us getting lost right here in the city we have lived in for 42 yrs. The senior center didn't work out. We belonged to a swimming therapy group but he became incontinent of stool, then decided he didn't want to go anymore. I enjoy the library but he just sits in a chair and waits for me. We tried the movies at the library but it was mostly young people, age 4-12 with parents sitting on floor and a few chairs for seniors. He got to where he couldn't follow many of the movies so would get bored and want to leave. So he sleeps. Many days he will sneak off and go to bed. If he is gone more than 30 minutes I know to go look in the bed and I try to get him up. Sometimes I can't and sometimes I can.
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I probably should have said my husband is physically still self mobile. He can walk on his own and get to the bathroom, although he is incontinent.
When he watches TV, he believes the movies are really happening now! I have to tell him they are movies and make-believe.
He used to watch the news 24/7, but it is too confusing now and asks so many questions, I try to explain, and by the time the explanation is given he forgets what it was about. He has very bad hearing so have to talk very loud. I will try some game shows, they may be interesting to him.
I am much younger them him, so currently, in good physical condition. This is good for him. I am able to take care of all the decision making in
the home, along with the shopping, errands, etc.... He has always been in good physical health. It is very upsetting to see a loved one, who was so mentally active to go into a stagnated mental state. This is man who had several Design Patents, who had his pilots license, built two businesses, built a house, doing all the plumbing and electrical himself, and who can barely remember any of these events in his life.so much for memories!
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My Father sleeps all the time also. He is 90. Goes to bed at 3pm!! Gets up around 7 to go right to the couch to watch TV. Has TV on all the time. Mom 90 and bored but with dementia. So much for the golden years. I cannot wait!!
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Is he on meds that make you sleepy? Just wondering... my mother is the opposite, popping up all hours of the night/ day.
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My dad with dementia will be 95 in Oct. He had a mild stroke in May that he seems recovered from. I have 24 hr live in help for him at home. He will go upstairs to lay down and stay there till around 1AM, then he's ready to get dressed and have breakfast. Talking to his doctor, the aides don't provide enough stimulation for him. If someone is doing work in the house or he goes out for a ride there is no mention of bed. Because of this his doctor said it's time for assisted living for him. After assessment he will go to the memory care unit but he'll be kept busy all day. Just my thought on the topic,
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Here is something to bear in the mind since he's up in age:

kokuamau./resources/last-stages-life
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My mother, age 83, has dementia and sleeps in her chair most of the day and is awake at night. Her doctor told me that is something I cannot change. Yesterday, she slept ALL day, did not wake to eat or take medications. I let her sleep rather than wake her. She is confused sometimes upon waking. She doesn't care about getting dressed (sometimes will stay in her PJ's all day) or her personal appearance. I don't think I can get her to change, but how do I instruct her without sounding bossy. I work full time and my husband & I are her primary caregivers.
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Isabell, u could be discribing my Mom. She was an advid reader, now it takes her ages to read one book. Think she keeps reading the same thing over and over. She felt she needed new glasses but Dr. says its the Dementia. She also is having a problem with separating TV from reality. She was all upset last week when she thought an explosion on the TV show Emergency was real and our house had blown up. Second time for this show so she won't be watching it amymore. No news either.
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My 84 yr alz spouse also sleeps 14 to 16 hrs waking up to pee & eat. DR SAID OK TO SLEEP. I have a hard time getting him up to go to appt. Or day care but once in car awake. I have had a caregiver come & he slept most the time. He doesn't read or watch TV but I always provide 100 pc puzzles which he loves.
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When people get old, they need more sleep. Both my grandmothers and now my mother slept most of the time. They were not demented
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I would discuss the increase in sleeping with his doctor. Sometimes, it's the dementia progressing. The dementia patient sometimes slows down more and more. I would just confirm that with his age and the disease that is what is happening. If he is comfortable and content, then I would just let him relax and sleep when he wants. I know some people promote activities and exercise, but with advanced dementia, I think that keeping the patient comfortable is a good thing. If they are not interested, there' not much you can do.
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I wish this would happen to my FIL. He is up day, night and miserable. Tried every type, class and dosage of meds. NOTHING works longer than a week or so. Most meds make him worse, hallucinate or fall. He's always too "tired" to do anything except "pack for my trip" every evening after supper. Never had hobbies, cant understand tv/movie plots or newspapers anymore. Every single "memory" he has involves a job he used to have, accompanied by deadlines and brutal treatment from his manager. It's torture to watch and deal with on a DAILY basis. I can't imagine it's all he has left of a 64 year marriage to the best wife and mother ever. Please don't let me end up like this, is my nightly prayer. If the rest of your loved one's day is fulfilling, and he is at peace, enjoy him. You are doing the best you can. Good day to everyone else struggling with their own minute to minute CG duties.
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What stage of Alzheimer's is he in?
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He is in stage 5 of Alzheimer's . He takes 50mg tablet of Sertraline for depression.
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Check with his doc.
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I am one of two live-in Caregivers for an 85 yr old woman who has Alzheimer's. I've taken care of her for 1 1/2 yrs now, but in the last few months, there has been a big change in her sleep pattern. She will sleep 12 hours - sometimes even 14 hours - quite easily!! This change concerned us, so we took her to her doctor and he said "There is no harm in letting her sleep."

Now, her pattern has changed to her wanting to take not one but two naps in the afternoon. So we're just rolling with her changes as they come and making sure that she's comfortable until God calls her home. So please know, Isabella, that an increase in sleeping can happen.
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