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My mom lived with us for 20 years! Our relationship was not good at all for the past 5 years, she has back issues and the last time she fell, I insisted her to go into a nursing home! She is still demanding, I do her wash, bring her snacks, food, and her mouth just pisses me off. She is such a negative person, she is verbally abusive and I can shoot comments right back at her, I have not spoken to her for a couple of days, because I truly don’t want to and don’t care! My dad is living with a relative, but I take care of his meds, finances, drs appts. He is not taking care of himself. Doesn’t wash his clothes, won’t le5 me in his room to get his clothes to wash! I am very embarrased with his appearance. He just doesn’t care

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You are angry and burned out caring for people who never cared for you.
This isn't something I myself would choose to do.
You are an adult and have to make your own decisions and choices now.
I am so sorry that this is what you have decided to do, and I hope it isn't because you hope to hear from these two that you are beloved, good, a wonderful child; that's not likely.

There's two chances at family in this life. The one you are born to in some genetic accident and the one you MAKE of good friends and loved ones.
I sure hope you will devote a lot less time to the undeserving in future because there are so many who ARE deserving. Good luck, sv.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I am reporting. This should be under questions. You will get kore responses there.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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After 20 years, you’re bound to be completely burned out. Totally understandable. Do you want to vent or for anything to change? Venting your frustration does help. Changing things helps more. Neither of your parents will change, except to worsen, so that leaves the change to you. Consider if what you’re seeing in dad is dementia coming on. If the relative he’s living with also wants his clothes washed, work with that person to snag the clothes regularly from his room. If the relative is unbothered, you be unbothered too. An event will happen one day to force change with dad, just wait it out. Mom is in a place that provides care and keeps her safe. Remind yourself of that often. Tell her what day or days you’ll be by to visit and bring her things. No need to go more or talk more than you choose. When she starts rude talk, leave right then, minus commenting, a quick “see you later” and gone. Don’t take the bait, just swim on by. Do something positive that you enjoy after doing things for your parents, it will lighten your mood and remind you that you matter too. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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