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Some years ago my brother had a stroke. He eventually was kicked out of his apartment as he could no longer hold a job. We moved him from CA to AZ.


He's not a bad fellow, but extremely mysogonistic. He has some cognition loss, i.e. double-dosed his medication (which I now control), leaves my doors open endangering my dogs, shoes on the wrong feet, but extremely intelligent to the point of irritation when he "flaunts" it.


I don't think I can take him much longer but he has no one else to care for him. I love my brother, but I do not like him in the least. What are my options?

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Lala, have you checked into board and care homes?

Arizona has thousands of facilities and the board and care tend to have better pricing and resident to caregiver ratio.

I would Google senior placement and go to your counties council on aging, they have resources and are happy to send you the list.

If he can self pay, and some are priced that you can self pay on disability, he doesn't need to be physically disabled.

Oh, I want to encourage you to put him in his place when he starts in. He needs you and you DO NOT need to accept his ugliness, period. If he doesn't like it, there's the door.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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My brother will be 66 and is on SS Disability and Medicare. My disabilities are a compression fracture in my spine causing me to use a cane, along with depression and anxiety due to my inability to do so many things that used to satisfy me as well as mitigate my ADHD. I have a service dog and I own my home, and he lives here. 

I applied for an assisted living resource for him but he was eventually denied because his “physical” disabilities were not severe enough and they do not consider the mental issues at all, though that is the cause of the disability (doesn’t make sense, I know.)

Thank you for responding. I will reach out to his medical team and see what they can suggest and go from there. There are just some days that spiral me, and this week has been one of those. 

Good luck to you as well.
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Reply to Lala2025
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How old is your brother?
Is your brother on SSDI?
Is your brother on Medicare? Medicaid?
I would say that your brother can be placed, if he medically qualifies, on Medicaid if needed, and in care. Level of care would be dependent on assessments.
You say that you yourself are disabled?
What are your disabilities?
Do you own your home or live in an apartment your brother shares with you?
What care workers for each of you have you reached out to you.

It has to be clear that we are just caregivers ourselves, and aren't familiar with either you or your brother, what assistance you currently have and what might be available to you in your state, but those who are your own Medical and care teams will be.
I would lean on them for assistance now; it sounds you have reached the level where you cannot personal care for your bro.

I am sorry for all you're going through and wish you luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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