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Is a home for seniors better than home care? Are there homes that will help me until I need 24hr care when I'm mentally unable to take care of myself. Could I can remain in that home until I pass on? I don't want to be moved again.

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There are continuing care facilities that have both assisted living and nursing homes in the same building or compound, some even feature independent living apartments as well. The problem with needing help and remaining in your own home is that someone has to coordinate that care and fill in any gaps in duties not performed by your hired caregivers, including - shopping, organizing medications, transportation to doctors appointments, laundry, housekeeping, meal prep, home and yard maintenance, as well as any assistance needed with personal care. Not to mention staying in your own home can be incredibly isolating.
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cover9339 Jan 29, 2025
There are those people who love living on their own.
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I 100% agree with cwillie's assessment of facility vs. in-home care.

My 105 yr old Aunt was only able to stay in her home until the end because

1) she actually was still mobile (with a walker) with no health issues
2) she had 2 local nieces willing to provide the care inexpensively
3) she could afford to pay for their care month after month and support her household expenses
4) she had a willing and competent advocate and PoA

You will definitely need a PoA or guardian to manage your affairs. You need to find this person right now before you need advocacy. They need to be a full generation younger than you, local, willing, trustworthy and competent. So, you need to see a certified elder law attorney.
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Reply to Geaton777
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First I have to ask..Is your house ready for you to age into it?
Do you have stairs?
Do you have a bathroom that is large enough to accommodate a wheelchair with enough room to turn around? Can it accommodate a Hoyer Lift? How about 1 or 2 more people in addition to you that may have to help you?
Do you have wide halls, wide doorways?
If no to these can you make changes easily and would you be willing to make the changes.

There are facilities that are "CCC" Continuing Care Communities.
These will have Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care, Skilled Nursing. There are many such communities do a search in your area and arrange a tour of a few of them.
There are facilities that are just Independent Living and if you need a higher level of care you hire caregivers. There are facilities that have several care levels but if you go beyond what they can safely manage you will have to move. (most facilities can not use equipment to help in transfers)

Are you willing to have Caregivers come into your home?
Can you afford caregivers? The cost will increase the more help you need and the longer you need help. (Caregivers can range from a few hours to round the clock.)

The best thing you can do now is make sure you have all your "legal ducks in a row" so that you have people that you have chosen that will to the best of their ability follow your wishes.
Do know that no matter what you want now if doing what you want is not safe the person you have chosen to act in your best interest may have to chose another option.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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karin47 Feb 1, 2025
Your response is so informative and helpful.
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You tell us that you are already unable to do anything independently.
To me, at that point, and given I were alone, I would want to be in Board and Care or Assisted Living.

I so agree with cwillie and Geaton here.
Much depends on your individual situation.
Whether or not you have family nearby, can install some cameras to watch over your safety with a relative nearby monitoring those cameras to be certain all is well.
Where you live, how safe your premises are, whether you have close neighbors to contact. Whether you can hire in help to go shopping and etc.

It is all dependent on your personal situation.
Many things are things that only you can decide.

Who do you have to help.
Is someone appointed as your POA so that, when you DO lose mental capacity, they can act for you?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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The answer to your question is "YES"! Care facilities range from quite expensive to very low or "NO" cost for living there. I'd recommend starting by calling your county "Aging and Adult" Department, every county has one but sometimes the department name differs from county to county. Some seniors struggle to stay home only to find making home arrangements for themselves is much harder than moving into a facility which will do nearly everything for them. Again, start with the "Aging" Department in your county offices who can put you in touch with your options according to your needs and financial situation. Also, they will direct you, as well as the management at the facilities you might consider, on such things as Power of Attorney, etc. if needed and how to do the paperwork. Don't get overwhelmed about all that confusing stuff...they'll handle most of it for you. You may want to think about a relative or friend who could serve as your Power of Attorney or your "voice" so to speak if you become incapacitated in your home or a facility. If you don't have a friend or family member, that's okay too....don't worry. Wishing you the best and commending you for starting the process of planning for yourself!
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Reply to Jannycare
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Answer your questions, No, Yes and yes, for a cost of course. Look at it this way, if there is a way to make money, 9 times out of 10 there is going to be businesses that will fill those gaps.
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Reply to cover9339
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My late boyfriend's widowed mother lived independently in her own home until she died at age 99 from fall complications. Her daughter checked in on her, she had regular gardening and cleaning, laundry service, her family brought in food, and her friends took her out for her social activities. She used a cane and had stopped driving her car long before she passed away in 2017.

So, as long as the senior is mobile and mindful enough, outside support will cover functions to retain one home for as long as possible.
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karin47 Feb 1, 2025
This is how we handled our mother until she died at 99 last February. We were so lucky to have her reasonably functional and living close to our sister who could provide ongoing management and meals. Those of us who could, paid for the aid of a very capable woman who came three days a week to help with baths, apartment chores and companionship so our sister could cope. My brother and I paid for all of her additional expenses. We were lucky.
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Irisheye: My mother's goal was to remain in her home until death. As a legally blind woman living alone many states away from me, when her blood pressure plummeted, I had to move in with her.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Irisheye, be sure to specifically ask if the facility allows hospice. Many board and care homes will not allow hospice.

I do recommend smaller facilities, they have a better caregiver to patient ratio and are typically not a big for profit corporation. Making the care and interactions more home like.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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There are private homes, often run by an individual or a family, who rent a room in their house, and you become like a room-mate, with the owners meeting your needs for assistance, whether making meals, helping you with mobility, managing medications, or driving you.

I would opt for Assisted Living. That is where you have a small apartment and have an onsite team of professionals to help you; caregivers, nurses, activity directors, maybe even a physical therapist, meals offered in a common dining room (restaurant style), they may have a van to take residents out shopping or to medical appointments. It is tailored to your needs, which can change over time.

If you become Full Hands- On care, then they will have to transition you to a skilled nursing facility. But by that time, there is nothing you will need to do or be able to do. You will simply be transported and admitted by doctor's orders.

Do you have family or a trusted friend you can assign as your Power of Attorney and Medical Power of Attorney, who can make decisions on your behalf if you are unable to? You can create an Advance Directive spelling out your wishes if you become incapacitated physically or mentally.

While you're at it, complete all your planning by creating a will. Then, choose the living arrangement best suited to you, and relax the rest of your days!
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Depending on where you wish to live, there are many choices.

Skilled nursing facilities (SNFs) are for those who can not meet their own medical needs - taking medication, testing for blood sugar... - or activities of daily living (adl's) - bathing, dressing, toileting, mobility issues... In the USA, the nicer ones usually are private pay or a combination of private pay, insurance, and federal funds (Medicare and Medicaid). The adequate ones will accept folks who only have federal funding.

Assisted living facilities (ALFs) are for those who can live independently and need or want help with their daily live needs. Usually residents have small apartments with access to dining room, daily activities, and housekeeping. Some may provide additional services, for additional costs. Again nicer ones cost more and usually are not available for federal funding.

Personal care homes provide services of ALFs and may provide the services of SNFs. The ones that administer medications must have a nurse do this since it is illegal for aides to administer medication. They have the advantage of being smaller, more home-like, and more personal attention since there are less residents. Check each of these ones out carefully for financing options, services offered, and how they "transition" care when their residents need more hands-on treatment.

Home health care provides help in the resident's own home. Depending on needs - and they all have somebody to assess for needs - care could be as simple as a home health aide for a couple of hours each week to round the clock care. Usually federal funding does not cover this type of care. Some insurance companies cover this type of care indefinitely (long term care insurance) and some provide for a limited time (usually expressed in your policy as days). In most cases, the individual or their families must pay for this type of care.

Some larger residential facilities are small communities that can adjust the level of care a resident receives based on need. Some have the price go up as level of care goes up. Others have factored in what is "usual progression" and offer a level price for the entire length of stay.

Always visit each place you are considering to be your new home - in person as much as possible. Make sure they can take the kind of financing you have. Make sure they can accommodate needs - and future needs. Ask about how they check and deal with health issues that emerge while a resident. Good luck!
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Reply to Taarna
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 3, 2025
A med tech can administer medications, so no nurse needed in AZ and Utah that I personally know. Probably others.
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Why is no one discussing death with dignity?
I am sure a lot of the bad behaviors are a result of loss of dignity. I know that that will be in my future and I am comforted by the thought. Luckily I live in a state which recognizes that as an option.
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