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when I get to a point in each day where I feel irritation from my 86 Y.O. child... I have a couple of beers to ease the resentment... sometimes followed by a third! It works for me. I don't want to start on drugs for stress relief and I love the beer anyway... and it helps me through the day😊 Whatever works for you!

As long as you feel never so impaired that you cannot function for your loved one, then I am for any solution that works in all honesty.
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cwillie Aug 27, 2024
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My concern of course would be for your dear wife who may need you after you've had your 3 beers and now you're not adequately able to help her as you may be sleeping or not clear headed enough to.
Maybe it's time to place your wife in the appropriate facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she now requires, and you can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her irritated caregiver, and instead of perhaps becoming her alcoholic husband who will need rehab after this is all said and done.

My ex-husband and son are both recovering alcoholics, so I am obviously a bit biased when it comes to anyone drinking in excess or needing to often, which to me needing several drinks a day is a sign of issues to come. I'm just saying.
There are much healthier ways to deal with stress that don't involve drugs of any kind, but I'm well aware that most folks as they age don't want to change their ways until they are perhaps forced to. And in your case, I hope for your wife's sake that you will make some healthier changes for you both.
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Anxietynacy Aug 27, 2024
I've seen so so many lives ruined because of alcohol. If you ask me it's the worst drug out there. My husband lost his first wife, distroid his kids and family, my neighbor died from it 9 months ago.
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This horse has been beaten to death about 100 times since I've been on A.C. since 2016. What's the point of this post OldArkie? Drink beer if you want to. Who are we to tell you otherwise? We're all gonna do what we're all gonna do ANYWAY, whether some think it's a good idea and others think it's a bad idea! Adults have the right to drink, smoke, use pot in states where it's legal, eat themselves onto the TV show My 600 Lb Life too and get chewed out by Dr Now.

We all get one life here on earth. To live as WE see fit. Our opinion of you is none of your business. J/S.
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Any caregiver deserves to have few pleasures. Alcohol, drugs, overeating. Nobody should be judged.
Mine is sweet tooth, on good day I try to stick to dark chocolate thinking it is better than other sweets. Not really as I tend to eat too much of it.
And mine other addiction, beautiful clothes. At least to me.
I was criticized that I dress too well for caregiver.
Should I look haggard and completely unkept?
Or implying that I am caring too much about myself?
Whatever makes us feel better is our choice.
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Anxietynacy Aug 27, 2024
I agree with you eva completely, we all are doing the best we can do to get through.

Alcohol does concern me, But that because of people I've been around. If you can keep it at no more than 3 , preferably 2 . And id say try to go 2 days a week with none.

Also Alcohol is harder on the body as we age
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Nacy,
I know devastating effects of alcoholism.
However, I would never judge caregiver. Ever!
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funkygrandma59 Aug 27, 2024
I don't feel like I have judged the OP at all(if you were referring to me), but instead was pointing out the obvious of the side effects of even a few drinks.
Someone has to be the voice for his demented wife who no longer can speak for herself, as she deserves to be cared for by someone with a clear mind, so mistakes aren't made.
And like I said in my original post, if his wife's care is just too much for him, then placing her in the appropriate facility would be the next best step.
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I can understand that people whose lives have been badly affected by an alcoholic spouse, now no longer drink alcohol at all and strongly disapprove of it. It doesn’t help others if they forecast ruin from ‘one little sip’ as a step onto a downhill path.
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Anxietynacy Aug 27, 2024
I agree Margaret, I have issues with alcohol, so I kinda flip flops on this but your absolutely right.
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I am surrounded by Craft beers in Boston - Trillium is a excellent One On The Seaport , The Castle island IPA Is good , Peak from Maine is good - Maine Lunch IPA is delicious. I discovered Pet- Nat wine - wine fermented in a bottle Like champagne . Trader Joes has some good beers and Pet- Net wines .
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Oldarki, I believe we all have are vises, I know of a lot of people that drink a lot more than that.

An alcoholic friend of mine called and told me how proud she was because her husband only drank 5 glasses of wine that day, because the night before he fell out of bed. That is definitely not a balance.

I think personally everything in life is a balance. To much of anything is not good for anyone, 2 beers is a balance, to me.

I brag at times how I don't drink and I don't, I know to many alcoholics, and no interest. But I really like my before bed, THC edibles, legal in my state. So my brag about not drinking is maybe hypocritical . I'm not sure. I'm just a bit of a hippie. I am who I am! 😀

Id just be careful of weight gain and high BP.
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Good for you, oldarkie. I mean, some of these Carrie nation AA types think that alcohol is like heroin, which it isn’t.
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funkygrandma59 Aug 27, 2024
Peggy Sue, alcohol IS a drug and can be just as dangerous especially when taken in large quantities and often.
I can only guess that you've never had to deal with an alcoholic in your life, and I'm glad you haven't, because it not only tears the person apart who is one and their life, but also everyone in their wake.

And don't get me wrong, I do enjoy having a drink once a month or so, but I do not "need" to have one, two or three every single day.
To me that is a red flag and should not be ignored.
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Beer has B Vitamins and can make you gain weight But On the other hand it can be safer than tranquilizers .
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