Me and my mother live together and moved to a place that does not have public transportation. Right now, I’m in a situation where every single place she has to go, I have to take her. The car is not even mine, it’s a rental. Financially & physically it’s becoming a strain. Everything is at least an 18-22min drive. I’m in the transition of finding my own place and moving a little closer to the city, but at the same time she has taken over all my extra time to plan and go apartment hunting. Every time I turn about she “needs” to go somewhere. I already have been put in the position to take her back and fourth to work M-F. Then she wants me to drive her around on weekends too, I feel like I’m not having time to do the things I need to get done. She says she’s going to get a car, but I haven’t seen her drive in 10+ years. Are there any transportation programs that pick up and drop off? I need some resources because I don’t want to leave her stranded, but I don’t have the means to keep transporting her on a car I have to bring back.
If there are 'resources' available in terms of picking up and dropping off a person who's 53 years old and perfectly capable of driving herself, I don't know of it. Senior services don't begin until 65 and even then, those types of services are few and far between too!
She moved in with you precisely so she could have YOU be her default future in terms of using you for EVERYTHING she needs in life. If you don't figure out a way to get out of this 'situation' you've gotten yourself into, welcome to your new LIFE for the next God knows how many years! Scary prospect isn't it?
Good luck.
I agree, Mom should be paying for gas and part of the rental.
When the senior wants to go somewhere, then the complaining about having time to take the senior where he or she wants to go, like they are a bother.
It's no wonder so many seniors "fight" tooth and nail to keep driving and their car.
If she is renting she should consider moving again once the lease is up.
You can also limit being her driver to one day a week. She can do grocery deliveries too.
Maybe independent living is not for her since she us clearly not independent.
She has to be flexible and open to other options. Whether paying to go places or moving again.
Look for your area agency on aging office online. Each county is supported by one. They may have a transportation service or know of available ones in your area. There are generally volunteers who work at these offices who can be very helpful for seniors. Some are better supported than others but it is a place to start.
Perhaps it would be helpful to give mom a block of time that works with your schedule when you will be available and of course, she must pay for any car rental she needs.
If mom is able to drive, why isn’t she renting the car? How are you taking her back and forth to work? Do you work or does mom? Your bio says mom is 53?? sorry for so many questions.
It may be that time in moms life that she needs to realize that she needs more help than you alone can provide. Give us a bit more information for better answers.