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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I have to stop caring for my parents, one is in hospital and one is here at home where, all 3 of us live, but for the last month, I have been, so mentally unstable and in the last week, I've been so close to suicide, I need to stop today and leave, I really don't know what to do, and I can't wait anymore for home packages and support, I have no energy whatsoever to get anything done, and my mind is lost in all the stress, I have to leave immediately or else I might lose control and take my own life, it could happen today tomorrow or even in the next few hours, I never sleep, and when I do, I find it impossible to wake up, I also have type 1 diabetes, and I never can look after myself, my sugar levels are all over the place, when I do feel hungry, I might goto the kitchen to get something, but most of the time, I am asked to do several things, and then have no energy left to even make myself something to eat, I have litrially hit the wall and need help, I have no support, and have no energy to goto any kind of mental health appointments, or to even talk over the phone for help, the last 2 days I have been talked out of killing myself, caused by feeling trapped and stressed more than I believed someone could, I have to leave, but if something happens to them I will feel responsible and guilty, my brain is always in overdrive, is there anyway I can get help and leave today? I'm worried I will go into an uncontrollable Depression and kill myself, I often feel it is the only solution and I can just be at peace for once, I don't wish what I am feeling on anyone, what do I do? Please I'm begging for help!! I'm so anxious and depressed and overwhelmed with the smallest of things.
Here is an update written by Heppner. www.agingcare.com/questions/im-currently-trying-to-get-some-respite-so-i-can-go-and-relax-and-forget-about-everything-i-am-curre-490221.htm?
Got a message from Heppner telling me he is so appreciative of all of our comments. And heartened that total strangers could care. He lives in Australia: Magaret?
If anyone has ideas how to access help for him, do let him know. He's real low on energy with the caregiving. I know some access to help in the USA but am helpless overseas. Thanks all.
Take care Heppner. Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I have been on this Forum for five years and I came here so desperate and anxious I almost froze when talked to; I swear I couldn't even HEAR I was so anxious. We have an expression in the states that is "I was a deer frozen in the headlights" and that is pretty much what it was.
It is the hardest thing, but the ONLY thing to know for NOW is that we have to take in deep breathes and we have to let them out slow, and we have to know that THIS is today; tomorrow won't be anything like it. It will be different. Maybe better, maybe not, but take it one day at a time and reach out EVERYWHERE for help. I mean EVERYWHERE. I am not a person of faith, not a believer, but I would run kicking and screaming into any church for help if I thought there was someone with ideas to guide and help me.
Heppner, first and foremost PLEASE listen to everything Alvadear said, she is 100 percent right.
Secondly this is temporary, this can be fixed!
You need professional help. So I don't want to say to much, in fear of saying the wrong thing.
I will say I was once close to where you are today . And I promise, life can be good again! Life can be great, if you let it and those that want and wish to help, help you.
Heppner, welcome to the forum. Caring for elders is very stressful, physically and emotionally. It's a tough job. Can you tell us more about your parents, such as their ages, and health issues? Do your parents live with you or do you live in their house?
One thing I noticed about elderly parents is that they don't realize their grown child is now older. I remember my folks (they were in their late 80's and 90's) thought I had the energy of someone in their 30's and 40's, when in fact I was also a senior citizen and my energy level had slowed down big time as I aged.
Time to think of a Plan B for caregiving for your parents. You can say "No" to caring for your parents. Practice saying "I can't possibly do that". Could they budget for a caregiver to come in to take your place during the day? Depending on your parents health, maybe it is time for Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing Facility as it sounds like they now need a village to help them.
First of all, I am so sorry; please know the national helpline for any suicidal ideation is 988. Please call them and they WILL help.
The next thing that I want to suggest to you is that you seriously consider calling yourself for EMS and going to an ER to report your suicidal ideation. This WILL almost certain get you admitted for a 5150, a 72 hour admission and hold to their associated psychiatric department. Not ONLY will this help you be seen, heard, medicated and hooked up with care, but it will also get you access to Social Worker with your need for help with caregiving. You will be heard, and you MUST now be heard before an impulse harms you. While you are admitted to care your other parent will either enter hospital or respite care where they can be given access to care as well.
Heppner, know that you will hear from admins on this site, which is the norm for anyone reporting suicidal ideation. Please get help at once. Call 911 if you must to do so and tell them you are suicidal. I am so very sorry. You are badly in need of help and THERE IS HELP FOR YOU. Don't let a temporary situation have long term consequences.
You should no longer attempt this care which is harmful to you. Don't leave premises without EMS being aware and arranging care or without contact with Police or APS for followup for your parent still at home.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He lives in Australia: Magaret?
If anyone has ideas how to access help for him, do let him know. He's real low on energy with the caregiving. I know some access to help in the USA but am helpless overseas.
Thanks all.
Take care Heppner. Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I have been on this Forum for five years and I came here so desperate and anxious I almost froze when talked to; I swear I couldn't even HEAR I was so anxious. We have an expression in the states that is "I was a deer frozen in the headlights" and that is pretty much what it was.
It is the hardest thing, but the ONLY thing to know for NOW is that we have to take in deep breathes and we have to let them out slow, and we have to know that THIS is today; tomorrow won't be anything like it. It will be different. Maybe better, maybe not, but take it one day at a time and reach out EVERYWHERE for help. I mean EVERYWHERE. I am not a person of faith, not a believer, but I would run kicking and screaming into any church for help if I thought there was someone with ideas to guide and help me.
Secondly this is temporary, this can be fixed!
You need professional help. So I don't want to say to much, in fear of saying the wrong thing.
I will say I was once close to where you are today . And I promise, life can be good again! Life can be great, if you let it and those that want and wish to help, help you.
Please, when you can let us know how you are!!!
🙏😔
One thing I noticed about elderly parents is that they don't realize their grown child is now older. I remember my folks (they were in their late 80's and 90's) thought I had the energy of someone in their 30's and 40's, when in fact I was also a senior citizen and my energy level had slowed down big time as I aged.
Time to think of a Plan B for caregiving for your parents. You can say "No" to caring for your parents. Practice saying "I can't possibly do that". Could they budget for a caregiver to come in to take your place during the day? Depending on your parents health, maybe it is time for Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing Facility as it sounds like they now need a village to help them.
The next thing that I want to suggest to you is that you seriously consider calling yourself for EMS and going to an ER to report your suicidal ideation. This WILL almost certain get you admitted for a 5150, a 72 hour admission and hold to their associated psychiatric department. Not ONLY will this help you be seen, heard, medicated and hooked up with care, but it will also get you access to Social Worker with your need for help with caregiving. You will be heard, and you MUST now be heard before an impulse harms you. While you are admitted to care your other parent will either enter hospital or respite care where they can be given access to care as well.
Heppner, know that you will hear from admins on this site, which is the norm for anyone reporting suicidal ideation. Please get help at once. Call 911 if you must to do so and tell them you are suicidal. I am so very sorry. You are badly in need of help and THERE IS HELP FOR YOU. Don't let a temporary situation have long term consequences.
You should no longer attempt this care which is harmful to you. Don't leave premises without EMS being aware and arranging care or without contact with Police or APS for followup for your parent still at home.