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My mother has dementia, she can carry on a normal conversation, she has a good sense of humor and can be witty however she repeats herself a lot. We took her on Friday so my husband and I could have some time. She's been with us nearly 12 years now. They called on Monday and said she fell but she's fine and vitals are good. again on Wednesday same thing, then on the the 4th of July again and again she was ok. They said they'd call later to update. By 8:30 I finally called the phone rang multiple times, I hung up and called back same thing. So I hung up again and called back a resident answered and said no one is here but the door is locked. So thinking if I call back a nurse would hear the phone. The resident answered again. This time he said,"oh she fell". I could hear someone crying help me in the background.
I asked him to ask her name, IT WAS MY MOM!!! Turns out they had multiple call ins and there was only one nurse on the floor. She was with another patient when this happened. Also the care taker we hire when we need to run errands and what not went to see here twice and both times said they had her in a transport chair sitting in a dark tv room and the tv was so low you couldn't hear it. She said those chairs aren't for sitting in just for transporting and they are very uncomfortable. When she asked for pedals to take her out they said there were none. She fell on her knees while someone was helping hr to the bathroom the day before we picked her up. This would be the fourth fall. Now since having mom home she can't walk with out assistance and even with assistance she has a vry hard time walking. She has a hard time picking up her left foot. Mentally she's just as she was but physically she has declined so much. She was going to a day program 3 days a week but we had to stop it so she can get PT. I'm beside myself and feeling terrible! I've had two people, the caregiver and PT tell me you should most definitely sue. I don't know if there's a case as there's no broken bones or anything of that nature?

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Suing will not get your mom back to where she was before this unfortunate series of falls. Concentrate on helping mom instead.

People are always willing to tell others to sue, but they often are spouting nonsense. These "advisors" may have no idea what makes a case. Old people fall and they fall a lot. There isn't much to prevent them from going down - they can go limp and crumble in an instant. Facilities are well-protected and have teams of lawyers to defend against such cases as your mom's. Do you have photos? Do you have witnesses willing and able to testify? Do you have time for meetings with lawyers ($400-$500 per hour in my area), for mediation, for hearings, for court dates, for trial? Do you have money to pay for these things? Are you ready for your life to be disrupted by a lawsuit on a regular basis for a year or more?

I'm very sorry for what happened to your mom, but it wasn't your fault. Move on and take care of mom. I also think you could use some TLC because there is no reason to continue beating yourself up over falls that could have happened anywhere. Find counseling or a sympathetic friend to talk with, and good luck.
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Reply to Fawnby
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My mother fell 95x over the course of living in AL for 5 yrs and Memory Care Assisted Living for nearly 3. 50 of the falls occurred in Memory Care Assisted Living because she didn't remember she couldn't walk and had no core strength to boot. It was nobody's fault except old age and dementia which robs a person of everything.

By all means, speak to an attorney but don't expect anyone to take your case. Falling at 94 years old, with dementia, is to be expected.

Best of luck.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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First about a law suit.
You can sue for anything but will you "win" a case and how much will it cost YOU to "win".

Falls happen it is a fact of life.
With dementia, and it depends on the type falls are even more common, Vascular dementia is all about mini strokes. And with a diagnosis of dementia sometimes you do not get the visual clues that a person has even had a stroke.

The facility should have documented EACH of the falls that happened and what the circumstances were and the care that was provided.

Honestly 94, dementia and being placed in a facility for respite I would think there would be an expectation of decline. Any change for a 90+ year old might cause decline. Any change for a person of any age with dementia might cause decline. Add to two together and it is almost a guarantee.

I do hope the PT helps and she is compliant and gets her strength back.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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cover9339 Jul 14, 2024
Trying to stay out of the facility long term is motivation enough to try to get her strength back
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Contact both the ombudsman for the place and the state accreditation agency for your state and report what you related here. You may be helping someone else not choose this place. Do not waste emotion and time beating yourself up over what cannot be changed, you’ve done well in providing years of care for your mother. And do not give up on getting regular respite, it’s vital to your health and marriage. There are caring places that provide this
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Lyd777, when it comes to lawsuits regarding a fall, think of it this way.... what if your Mom was living with a relative and this happened. Would you sue your relative?


I recall reading when it comes to falls, you can have a room full of doctors, nurses, and physical therapists, an elder could fall and not be caught in time. It happens that quickly.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Focus on PT. Get your PCP to prescribe PT at your home. OT might also help. See if your PCP will also prescribe OT in the home.

Be forward thinking.
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Reply to brandee
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You can win the battle and lose the war.

Focus on Mom's health and you and your husband's health.

Get caregivers to your house so you and your husband can have mini breaks.

I'm praying you get good PT at the house.
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Reply to brandee
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How awful. Sounds like being in an unfamiliar environment was just too disorientating for your Mother.

You were not to know this would happen!!

Hopefully with PT at home mobility improves. For future respite, maybe having care staff stay with Mother in the home may be preferable.
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Reply to Beatty
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Are you saying that in the recent weeks preceding her stay in respite that she was never a fall risk? She never had balance problems, or tried to get up out of a chair when she was not able to walk unassisted? I'm not sure why she would start doing this suddenly in another venue, except maybe she became confused and agitated by being in a new environment with strangers.

I'm very sorry this happened to your Mom, but my 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia fell 3x in the presence of family caregivers (and broke bones each time). Elders falling is a common age-related problem. Even if the facility was not understaffed (as it seems it maybe was) there is no way to legally restrain someone for their own safety.

Has your Mom ever had a full cognitive exam? Maybe you will be shocked at how poorly she performs on it. My 95-yr old Mom just had a MOCA exam to check her executive functioning (for a driving assessment) and she failed worse than I expected -- and I see her every day since she lives next door to me.

The only way to know if there's a case is to take this and all your known facts and evidence to a lawyer for review. But even if it does make it to court, you will be responsible to pay the legal fees (and in some states you may also need to pay the legal fees of the other party if you lose).
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Reply to Geaton777
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Have you taken Mom to the doctor to see why she can’t pick up her left foot easily ? Maybe she had a stroke while she was in respite care . That would explain the falls .
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Reply to waytomisery
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