I want to know about POA. I am a child of a aging parent over 90 who recently got sick and went into the hospital. I am not in the same state as my parent but very close to my parent. No one told me that my parent was in the hospital but when I could not get him on the phone I just started searching it out and found that he was in the hospital. My parent always been very alert, I mean holding great conversations without any problem. The first day in the hospital I was able to get some information that he had no recognition of where he was and kidneys. Even though he has a wife, she has dementia is what I am told but she does speak well at times. The next time I called to check on my parent in the hospital I was told I could not because the POA said so and they had paperwork. It seems that the my dad's wife took out a POA so I am hearing and have noted that me and my family cannot get any information on my parent nor can we visit him without approval from the POA. I don't know this POA at all. Never met her, only heard my parent mention who she was. I doubt very much so if my parent signed any POA because he was against doing one. I spoke with him before. My concern is having a POA is one thing but dismissing his children and family as if we don't exist is outrageous. I have been very emotional and in a lot of anxiety because I am very close to my parent and to think that something happened to him and I have not been allowed any information or what I can do next is heartbreaking. I asked the nurses if I came to town will I be able to see him they said no, but I am seeing that other in laws are able to visit him and make decisions for him. In order to get any information on my parent I have to find the POA, I reached out to speak with her days ago and she has not called me yet. I want to know if this allowed. Can someone get a POA over and elderly person without any connection with the elderly person's children? Can his children be dismissed like that while their parent is suffering in the hospital? That is causing such pain and suffering beyond words. I just buried a sister and two relatives within a matter of months and now I have to fight to see my own father? Is this legal?
Please advice what can be done. Thank you
Call Adult Protection Services in the County the Hospital is in. Ask if they can check out this in-laws claims. In my opinion, a POA does not have a right to keep family away unless they cause problems.
A POA is usually done in a lawyers office. The lawyer should make sure the person is competent in assigning someone and is not being coerced. Only your father can assign someone. He signs, there is one or two witnesses and a notary. In my state the assigned person does not have to be present or sign the except the position. I would question it being done any other way.
I asked the nurse because they would not give me any update on my parent saying that the POA said not to. I then said I am not in that area if I travel in will I be able to see my parent? They said no! You would have to get approval from the POA. I said I don't even know this person. They said this is what the POA have indicated allegedly. I said you saying as the child of a 97 years in the hospital suffering with kidney failure and incoherent I cannot come to see my dad nor know how he's doing? They said no! You have to speak with the POA and a lot of the nurses was nasty as well. I reached out to one of the in laws to whom the POA suppose to be and asked everyday for this lady to call me. They keep saying she is going to call and never have as of yet! That's 3 days ago and I asked for her to call again last night and they said this afternoon and nothing yet. I am such a daddy girl Even though I am grown my connection with my dad is like no other. My dad would never ever agree with not hearing or seeing us. He loves us with all his heart and all of my family would tell you that. I just want to know what can be done. I am so emotional. I never been without talking to my parent or knowing how they are doing. Such pain and suffering. Plus, we just buried a sister this year already. So emotional.
It is very odd that the POA is not allowing family to visit.
You will have to be there, and will need to speak to the POA about why you are being denied entry to see your parent. You may need to see a Lawyer about seeking guardianship if your Mom already has dementia.
Did the hospital tell you that your father is unable to act for himself, say who he wishes to see, and that the POA is acting for him?
As I said, unfortunately, you and other family members need now to BE there and to find out what is going on. You may need to contact APS to tell them that after a wonderful lifelong relationship with your Dad he is SUDDENLY now in hospital, unable to communicate with you, and you are not being allowed to see him, barred by a POA that, as you told us, you do not believe exists as your Dad always resisted making family POA. They will help you get answers as family as to what is going on.
I sure wish you luck and hope you will update us.
I asked the nurse because they would not give me any update on my parent saying that the POA said not to allegedly. I then said I am not in that area if I travel in will I be able to see my parent? They said no! You would have to get approval from the POA. I said I don't even know this person. They said this is what the POA have indicated allegedly. I said you saying as the child of a 97 years in the hospital suffering with kidney failure and incoherent I cannot come to see my dad nor know how he's doing? They said no! You have to speak with the POA and a lot of the nurses was nasty as well. I just want to know what can be done. I am so emotional. I never been without talking to my parent or knowing how they are doing. Such pain and suffering. Plus, we just buried a sister this year already. So emotional.
You aren't in the same state, so that makes it tricky and you will need the aid of a lawyer versed in these matters.
Sadly, dementia can creep up on people---and if your relationship with your father has been primarily by phone you would not probably pick up on the little clues that someone is slipping, until they get pretty bad. Or it could have been a mini-stroke--a UTI, any number of things.
I hope, in the least, you get permission to see your father.
Because of HIPAA rules, the hospital or doctors cannot release information to you if you are not your father's Medical Representative. This is a form that your dad would fill out, naming a representative, signing it and submitting it to each doctor he sees. This allows communication with that medical staff without your father being present.
I don't know how you would find out who the actual PoA is... in my experience the assigner and the agent(s) all get an original notarized copy of the PoA agreement. So, your parents may have a copy at their home. Legally they are not obligated to tell you this information.
At the hospital if you don't make any headway you may be able to request a meeting with the on-staff social worker who may be able to answer some questions and give you guidance. If no one has PoA for your dad, and he does not regain his mental competency, then the time window for creating a PoA has passed since no lawyer would execute this document when they interview him and find he can't comprehend what he is doing.
You may need to appeal for temporary emergency guardianship in order to manage his medical care in the short term. In the long term, permanent guardianship is expensive and time-consuming to pursue through the courts. If someone else contests is (like the current PoA) then the judge may assign a third party as the guardian in order to protect your father from a power struggle.
In the end, if you really want to oversee care for your parents, and you get the legal authority to do so, you may need to consider moving them to your town. Long-distance caregiving of sick and needy people is not easy without having a trusted helper local to your parents.
If there is no PoA and no one else pursues guardianship, then the county or state will pursue it through social services. Then they will take over and control everything for each of them. No one else will be privy to any of their financial or medical information and they will make all care decisions for them going forward.
It is not unusual for elderly folks who are hospitalized to become disoriented and incoherent.
This relative may simply be trying to protect your dad's and his wife's interests.
Have you spoken to the patient advocate at the hospital?
As others have suggested, perhaps seek an elder care attorney and look into obtaining guardianship.
Best wishes!!