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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My spouse has early to mid-stage Alzheimer's. He seems to be doing okay for now, but I'm concerned I could wait too long before hiring help. I don't want to insult him, but I also don't want to burn myself out or put him at risk.
The first thing to know is that your husband cannot be left unattended for one second. The time is now to get his doctor’s evaluation for either help in the home or memory care placement so you can work. If his funds will run out, contact an elder care attorney and Medicaid specialist.
Don't forget to obtain legal help to set up medical and financial POA for you and your alternates who can step in on his behalf when your husband cannot handle his affairs.
If you are asking, you are concerned. If you are concerned, then it is time to get a larger team of help so you both can thrive.
You need enough helpers to be able to do the caregiving tasks 24/7 - in case something happened to you. Ask family, friends, members of your faith community and hired help. Have enough people who will become familiar with your routines, medications and health issues - so they can step in whenever needed. You might start by asking for help for a couple hours for a couple (2-3) days per week. This gives your helpers time to know the routines, meds... and allow your spouse to be used to seeing them in your home.
Don't be left scrambling to get help when you are in crisis. It takes time to get good helpers in place. I think if you are asking this question, you already know what you need to do.
If you are beginning to worry of safety and you are looking for husband's cooperation, might I suggest an adult daycare. Drop him off and he might be interested in the program that they offer. Many include lunch and other services while he is there
If you're asking this question, it almost certainly is time NOW.
Worry less about insulting him and more about getting your ducks in a row! You can work behind the scenes to hire help, and he doesn't have to know about it until shortly before the helper arrives or even as they're walking up your front steps. You're not in a situation where walking on eggshells is going to last long. Time to be brave, bold, and upfront if your H shows any interest in what you plan to do to help him. (Many don't. They've lost or never had the awareness to understand what you are or will be going through.)
Good luck. I'm glad you're getting a handle on this before your back's to the wall with the things that will inevitably happen next.
Is there is a chance that your husband can take off in a car or forget that he left the burner on the stove? What about leaving the door unlocked to your house. Dementia will take on different forms. Prepare for your husband's safety.
This process is a journey and you are just starting out. Consider a "first step" in this process to be a medical alert device that he will wear while you are at work. It's way less expensive than a caregiver and can still give you and him some peace of mind while you are separated. For men who have no interest in wearing a pendant, there are now watch options. Here is a good review site. Or you can check Wirecutter. Hope this helps :) https://bestfalldetection.watch/
Let me put it like this. If you are asking this question...it may be time to start investigating possibilities before you get into the "what should I do now" mode.
I think what you just said is the God's truth, and that's what I would tell him. I would tell him that you may jump the gun and get help earlier than needed but that help is for YOU and you WANT it and NEED it and INSIST on it. And tell him that without it he will be going into care.
Playing around the truth doesn't work, and it feeds paranoia and suspicion which is already somewhat the norm.
As to WHEN? You will know that much better than we do. You know your husband; you are there every day. You are aware of his doctor's thinking after assessment. And we know NONE of that. I trust you implicitly. That isn't to say you can't/won't make mistakes and the truth is that you must allow yourself that. There is NO perfection in end of life, dementia care. NONE. And it's predictable and can change on a dime. I wish you the very best of luck.
Think about what tasks you'd love to be done with and hire with that in mind. For me, it is cleaning the showers. I'd try to find a male companion aid for you husband if at all possible.
You will also need to figure out if you will hire through an agency or privately pay someone. Each have benefits and downsides.
I would start now, by hiring someone to come a few hours a day telling your husband that this person is now there to help you around the house while you're at work. That way he'll get used to having someone else around before he gets too far in his dementia and more difficult to deal with. And making this about you and not him will be a win win situation for all. Best wishes as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Don't forget to obtain legal help to set up medical and financial POA for you and your alternates who can step in on his behalf when your husband cannot handle his affairs.
You need enough helpers to be able to do the caregiving tasks 24/7 - in case something happened to you. Ask family, friends, members of your faith community and hired help. Have enough people who will become familiar with your routines, medications and health issues - so they can step in whenever needed. You might start by asking for help for a couple hours for a couple (2-3) days per week. This gives your helpers time to know the routines, meds... and allow your spouse to be used to seeing them in your home.
Best of luck in your journey.
Worry less about insulting him and more about getting your ducks in a row! You can work behind the scenes to hire help, and he doesn't have to know about it until shortly before the helper arrives or even as they're walking up your front steps. You're not in a situation where walking on eggshells is going to last long. Time to be brave, bold, and upfront if your H shows any interest in what you plan to do to help him. (Many don't. They've lost or never had the awareness to understand what you are or will be going through.)
Good luck. I'm glad you're getting a handle on this before your back's to the wall with the things that will inevitably happen next.
https://bestfalldetection.watch/
Playing around the truth doesn't work, and it feeds paranoia and suspicion which is already somewhat the norm.
As to WHEN? You will know that much better than we do. You know your husband; you are there every day. You are aware of his doctor's thinking after assessment. And we know NONE of that. I trust you implicitly. That isn't to say you can't/won't make mistakes and the truth is that you must allow yourself that. There is NO perfection in end of life, dementia care. NONE. And it's predictable and can change on a dime. I wish you the very best of luck.
Think about what tasks you'd love to be done with and hire with that in mind. For me, it is cleaning the showers. I'd try to find a male companion aid for you husband if at all possible.
You will also need to figure out if you will hire through an agency or privately pay someone. Each have benefits and downsides.
And making this about you and not him will be a win win situation for all.
Best wishes as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.