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This person is thinking about placing her mother in a care facility where she can get better help. The mother has become very abusive towards caregiver and nasty to the point of driving all friends away. The problem is the daughter is one taking care of the mother. Daughter's husband lives there as well. They have lived there for a few years, taking her to doctors appointments, cooking, cleaning, doing everything. Daughter is afraid she will become homeless if she places her mother into a better place that can handle her. I am trying to help them by researching for answers. I am a neighbor that used to go over daily but don’t no longer.

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Probably this person should be talking to an Elder Care Attorney for the best answers.
How will the facility where the mom is placed get paid for? Does mom have enough money to pay for this care? If not the house will have to be sold in order to pay for the care.
Is mom the only one on the deed to the property?
Are there any other family members that could possibly lay claim to any assets?
so many questions and you are not the one that can probably answer them....
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Neighbor1 Apr 2022
I know the whole family very well and both Mom and Daughter are on the deed to property. No other family members are interested in the property.Mother has 2 other children ( sons) 1 son disowned her the other is in Prison till he is in his 80s . Mom will be long gone by then as he is in 60s and has 15 years to go. This Mom is 84 . Like I said I was very close till her dementia got really bad and she thinks and accuses people and strangers of stuff that never happened. I was told best to stay away to keep the mom calm( she has gotten 100 times worse) . As far as the 2 years they have lived there for 2 and a half. The Mom is already on Medicaid. Daughter pays all bills, buys all the food and does all total care.
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If Mom has money for an AL, then I see no problem in them staying in the house as long as they pay the billsvand upkeep.

The problem is placing her in Longterm care with Medicaid paying for the cost of her the care. The house is an exempt asset while Mom is living. If daughter is able to say she was Moms caregiver for 2 years and prove she can pay bills and upkeep, she may be able to stay. There are other options but I would start by taking to a Medicaid caseworker. I would not get an elder lawyer involved unless things get sticky.
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Are you asking if the daughter has POA by the mere fact she lives with and cares for the mother? The answer is no. POA is a legal document willingly conferred upon someone willing to accept the duties and burdens of serving as POA for a competent elder.
Once incompetent an elder cannot confer POA. However, a Social Worker can often get "temporary guardianship" for the daughter for placement, if the Mother's MD agrees she should be placed for 24/7 care. This is best/most easily done from a hospital setting.
You say that the daughter "daughter and daughter's husband lives there as well" and by that I assume that they are living in the home. It MAY be possible, after placement of a Mom under guardianship, to use the Mom's assets toward payment of her care with the exception of the home. The home would, in the USA be a protected asset until the Mom's death. However, at that time, if the Mom received medicaid for her care, there would be some recovery by medicaid upon sale of the home.
Your friend honestly needs the advice of an Elder Law Attorney. Because she isn't POA she would pay for this advice herself.
Moving in to care for an elder free of charge often leaves the caregiver homeless, without a job history, helpless, broken and headed to a shelter. She should seek help now to find out what her options are. Find an Elder Law Attorney practice that charges her by the hour and have her begin her list of questions.
If, in your title, you meant that the daughter already HAS POA then know that if she is paying bills and etc for the Mom, or accepting money from the Mom, this has legal repercussions, and her records must be meticulous and correct. In the case of her HAVING already the POA, yes she can use that for placement, and may be able to remain in the home during Mom's lifetime. This will give her and hubby some time for savings for their own life moving forward. But again, this needs to be passed by an Elder Law Attorney and she needs to be certain she is doing her duties correctly and as required by law, as well as to know her options for the home if Mom is placed in care. In this case the POA will allow her to pay (again keeping records of the payment) through Mom's funds for the POA advice about Mom's placement options and finances.
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Neighbor1 Apr 2022
She ALREADY has POA. Thanks for your advice,it helps a lot.
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Just read ur reply. So the daughter is on the deed so that changes things. Medicaid will not take the home but she should make sure that Medicaid knows the house is owned by someone else besides her Mom. She should establish caregiver too.

Nothing will really happen until Mom passes. At that time the house will no longer be an exempt asset. Its now is an asset that Medicaid can recover some of what they put out on Moms care. At that time the daughter will be sent a recovery letter and she will then tell them again that she was a Caregiver and owns half the house. At that point a lien will be placed on the house and will need to be satisfied if daughter dies, leaves or sells.

I am just giving the basics. Every state has their own criteria when it comes to Medicaid.
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Neighbor, you wrote in part:

"both Mom and Daughter are on the deed to property. "

The issue would be HOW are they identified:

If as "(mother's name) and (daughter's name) as joint tenants, they do share ownership rights, now.   If they're listed as "(mother's name)" with "daughter's name" with rights of survivorship, that's a different issue.  

These deeds and wording of how title is held can get tricky.    It's been years since I've prepared a deed, and wording and standards may have changed.   This is something that absolutely should be addressed by an attorney.

I can understand the daughter's concern for living arrangements and complement you on trying to help.   But title to property, access to the home and many other issues really should be addressed only by a qualified attorney.    You could actually endanger either them or you by sharing advice gotten on a forum, w/o consulting an attorney.
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There’s a appointment set up soon for Mother and Daughter and the daughter’s brother( moms older son) to talk with a elder attorney. There’s too much confusion and the oldest Son knows already lots of things about this type of stuff so he will help Sister threw things.
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PeggySue2020 Apr 2022
You’re just a neighbor, neighbor. Why don’t you let the family handle things?
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