Spouse is recovering from 4 broken ribs, a severely sprained R hand, can currently stand and walk with walker if attended; he's a fall risk after 9/1 and 9/5 falls. Tenant is 37, male, and has lived with us for 2.5 years. He's always been kind and helpful to carry things if I ask for help because he's strong; he works about 30 hours outside the home weekly, has his own car, and he and Spouse know and like each other.
Currently, he pays $450 for one upstairs bedroom (full house privileges) two doors down from the master bedroom, so he'd be within hearing distance of any call from Spouse for helping to the toilet, etc. I'd forego the rent, the hours would be about 6 hours daily. He hasn't any home health care experience and I've not mentioned the scenario to him. Thanks for any input.
Better news is that he's still eating the pureed diet and his dentist says she'll work on his upper plate even without doing a "house call" so at least there'll be something to help him eat. He's able to hold a book better and the brand new TV helps with boredom.
My take is that he's rarely been interested in considering the tremendous jolt his body receives with the 15 sorts of meds he's on daily; they'd make anybody nauseous and such is stated on their labels. Youngest will visit Sunday, which ought to help Spouse's spirits.
"I resolved not to supply him with any non-prescribed extra doses and refrained from fighting with her over the phone."
Your husband is in rehab, correct? If so, you can't give him any medication other than what is ordered by the facility doctor. Not even OTC. The nurses have to keep track of everything he takes by law. So, if your SIL thinks differently, put her straight. Rehab is in charge of his care. All you can do is ask if they can up what he is given. Seems to me they are trying not to give him a lot of Tramadol so using Tylenol. I also think the Tylenol they are using is prescription strength so stronger than OTC. For me, I like Advil for pain relief. Tylenol doesn't seem to do it for me. Maybe he would do better on another pain killer.
Great big warm hug!
I would ask, sometimes just a tiny dose can take the edge off.
Continued prayers for you both.
Are you taking care of you Pronker?
Great big warm hugs for you both!
Thankfully they caught the infection.
Prayers sent for all of you!
Saturday's chat with his PT revealed "when he was in isolation 3 weeks ago before he moved into the 4-person room, I got him to sit up, stand up with one person supporting and he did some side steps; now he fights with me and says he hurts too much to move." PT said his Foley cat hurts and "has some blood" around the opening. I suggested to RN that his Depends from home could be used and she said since he's bedridden "it would be hard on him to pull them up."
Spouse has never made a will; as a retired attorney, he's said all along that "everything such as the house and car is in your name so I don't need a will." Whether he does or doesn't, the circumstances if he continues to downslide seem to preclude making one now.
His TV didn't have a remote, so I got a universal one and programmed it to work on it; he said "oh now it works" and was too sleepy to try to use it. It's sounding like mornings are better for visiting to see if anything's better for him in the a.m.
Do they what to continue to aggressively treat what keeps coming, or will they suggest palliative care or Hospice?
Conference had concluded that he "can sit for 30 seconds at edge of bed during PT and then says it's too painful" because of catheter in place and bedsores; said "we can encourage but not force because that would be tortuous even though he's not responding well to PT; he's told us he wants to come home if I can handle his care". Conference concluded "we must plan for discharge to home, or continued placement here for X dollars monthly, or another facility." The X dollars seems doable at this point because of his pension; will need to contact VA to see if this will work.
Today is Youngest's birthday and the fear that his dad might die on that day subsided; the fear arose because of Spouse's sleepiness on three previous visits, really groggy. I believe this was due in part because his TV is a complex thing and the remote hard to figure out, so he lost that stimulation; 10 days ago, he was telling me about various news events and wanting my opinion. Now his original TV is back and he seems uninterested. At my return from the conference, he said "I live here now, don't I" and I said "Yes, until you get stronger."
Prayers and hugs for you dear lady.
There's a way for him to end suffering and that's by passing away; it's so awful to see him gone from 230 pounds on 8/17 to 157 this week. He slept the whole time of the visit today. I've made final arrangements via an acquaintance who's a retired funeral director, and he's most helpful regarding interpreting the jargon that all businesses use.
20 years is a darn good fight, he has done well. We would all be pretty worn out after that much time.
Will you have enough help at home to make sure you are okay?
Have you talked with Medicare to find out if they will extend the 100 days. It's almost time for a reset, maybe they will, it's worth asking.
Continued prayers for you and your family. Great big warm hug!
I am so sorry for your loss. Be comforted by your good memories and please be gentle with yourself. (((((Hugs)))))).
So sorry for your loss. You worked hard to care for your dear spouse. Take care.
May The Lord be with you and your family during this difficult time. May HE give you grieving mercies, comfort and strength. May you feel HIS arms around you, lifting you up and holding you tight.
My prayers are with you. Great big warm hug!