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Mom is 89 and has moderate dementia. She needs someone to be at the house with her 24 hours a day. She has 12 hours of caregivers daily but someone needs to be there overnight. A live-in person could live there rent free and only help to get her to bed.


Any suggestions?

Finding and keeping overnight help is hard. It's what my sister and I are struggling with right now for our mom. Mom gets up between 3 and 6 times in the night to use her commode and my sister is afraid she will fall because when Mom is sleepy she is unsteady so she gets up with her. My sister needs more sleep. I stay there one night a week to do overnights and she has a hired caregiver one other night but my sister still isn't getting enough sleep. I don't know why finding overnight care is so difficult but it definitely is.
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Reply to Valentine15
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You cannot offer room and board and not pay the person. If they have to be available during the night, they have to be paid for that shift. They come on at 10 and leave at 8, they are paid that 10 hrs. There are laws to protect live-ins. Call your labor board to find out what they are in your State.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Hood12 Mar 29, 2025
Thank you very much.
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She has caregivers?
Ideal!
I would speak with them about recommendations.
It's always hard to vet folks who are good. People who take on overnight work sometimes work too jobs and are too sleep.
Rent free doesn't work. Would you stay up wondering, watching and worry just so you could live in someone else's home, and work full time the next day somewhere else?

You understand, I know, the enormous expenditure you are looking at. When my friend was in hospice a few years ago she needed 24/7 care to be home. Two women worked EVERY DAY, 12 hour shifts together, 20 hour plus they always had food brought in. And even at that fair--ever cheap--rate, the money hemorrhaged out of her accounts.

Has there been any consideration of memory care, nursing home, Board and Care or ALF?

I can only wish you good luck. The usual places, Care.com and agencies in your area, next-door, recommendations are there, but everything today is so unreliable. It's really tough.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Hood12 Mar 27, 2025
Thank you so much. Your response gives me a lot to think about.
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