Had emergency surgery the others day. No one cares or here to help me..I have a few more to come. I don't get how ppl can be so cruel. It makes my life no life ..and a life long fight to be accepted and loved. I'm tired of having no one... I make caring loving person I love everybody how can I be abandoned by everyone and by far perfect though but there's nothing I wouldn't do to just feel that someone cares.
She suffered a heart attack at age 56 while she was waiting to get her leg amputated.. I was the only sibling out of 5 others that would help and take her to appts. I lived an hour away. I dreaded every time because of her attitude. She could not be cheerful or friendly or appreciative. She treated nurses like s__t. In Aug 2018 she was diagnosed with stomach cancer and died March 2019. One other sister and I and hired help got her thru to her final day. I was with her when her tumor burst and she died the next day. She was still talking ugly to me and down to me and my other sister when she arrived. I feel sorry that you don't have anyone, but have you driven them away? Reach out to them and tell them how you feel and ask them what went wrong. And if you can change, then do it.
Moral of her story: don't try to be a martyr, instead find, accept and appreciate help.
Does your health team include any sort of support, services or councelling?
Well wishes to you.
Can you tell us what happened? You said "so much has led up to this..."
What surgery did you get? Are you able to do things for yourself?
No doubt, you still feel yucky after surgery--and throw in the mix that it's the HOLIDAYS and somehow due to lilfe just being crazy, people put too much emphasis on the greedy, indulgence of those Holidays--leaving people who try to make them GREAT for everyone else feeling blue and lonely.
Is a little of that going on for you? Did you have expectations that weren't met? People didn't step up to help that you felt should have?
When I went through cancer & all the misery that brings---I think I had maybe 3 or 4 good friends reaching out to me, and yes, sometimes I had to call THEM to help me out. I'm not good at that, not at all. I felt totally alone a LOT.
I also had a very major foot/ankle surgery this past summer. It took 16 weeks to heal so that I could even put weight on it. My DH tried, but failed, really, at 'caring for me'. I just gave up and hired all the work out. I got very depressed about this.
People are inherently selfish--not out of meanness, but just as a survival tactic! It's not a bad trait, it really kind of protects us from burning out completely.
I hope when you begin to heal, you can look outside yourself and 'work' on finding supportive people. I can't gather from your post whether you are married, single, have kids--so it's kind of hard to know what to say.
I hope you feel better soon. Really. Being sick & in pain just take the wind out of our sails.
((Hugs))
People are not deliberately "cruel" most of the time. They are self-centered, preoccupied with problems of their own. The holidays present complex problems for some people ...family/relationship problems, financial problems. It's not that they are "uncaring", they just don't think about other peoples problems when they feel overburdened by their own.
Since you are having surgery and are under medical care, you might speak to your doctor about your depression. Anti-depressants can sometimes work wonders, but it usually takes time for them to work.
The suggestion of volunteering is excellent, if you are physically able. Ask if an elder daycare center needs help. It may not be physically demanding and older people are often just starving for conversation! Whatever effort it takes, a lot or a little, you will find you are helping yourself to feel better as well.
Do you have family, but they have abandoned you?
Do you have friends in your area?
Do you attend/are you ABLE to attend any functions such as Church or Social Groups?
What emergency surgery did you have? Has it put you off your feet? Do you suffer from a chronic disability?
We need more information from you. Am so sorry you are suffering at this time, and hope things will improve. The holidays often put even more a burden on us with expectations that we normally carry.
It sounds you are isolated from others. At the young age of 51 there must be reasons for that we cannot be aware of. Please tell us more.
Prayers.
I have do doubt you are a caring, loving person. The reality of life is that most people have their own family members and challenges to tend to and hardly have the band-width to add another person into the mix, and has nothing to do with you being somehow undeserving of attention. May you have a full and speedy recovery! May you receive much kindness from others and peace in your heart in this new year!
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