I’m 56 and even though I’m not an only child I have been the one always taking care of my parents, unfortunately my dad passed in March (we were very close) and I’m having a hard time dealing with it at the same time my mother dementia has gotten worse since his passing they were together 72 years but 43 of them she treated him like crap and now she misses him. I work from home and take care of her, I have no help and when I applied for home aid through Medicaid they denied her ( she makes to much money $, 1200 a month it’s a joke) I don’t have a social life because I can’t leave her alone all I do is work. Just a little background I had my daughter at 15 so I’ve been caring for someone my whole life. I'm to a point that I’m starting to resent my mom and I know it’s not her fault she is sick but she hasn’t been the most motherly herself my dad was my whole support my whole life. I feel like a horrible person for feeling like this.
"I have no help".
I get that. I felt that too, overwhelmingly, over the last month.
Since then I have been taking my own advice! 😁 To USE all this energy (from pent up resentment) towards looking for options. Making calls, talking to people, researching how things work, how funding for works for assisted living.
"I can’t leave her alone".
That is not sustainable.
That is *Mission Creep*. The person with needs can sort of take over. Like a vine, weaving in & around... kill off their caregiver's social life, their free time, hobbies, own health appointments, holidays, disrupt their work life & relationships.. with no end.. Until you say No. This must change.
You are not ‘a horrible person’, just a completely normal person reacting to unreasonable demands on you. What is your mother paying for? All her monthly income should be going towards her upkeep.
My condolences on the loss of your dear dad.
Best of luck.