I am looking for answers- maybe there is someone who has a similar situation to mine. I am helpless because the law is on the side of the spouse in this state, no matter how cruel or wrong. I don’t know where my mother is. Her husband has told me he got a new power of attorney for them both, new wills (which I am not concerned about since I only want to see my mom) and I will have no say in anything about my mother. He took her phone away and changed his number as well. They are in an RV. I have no way to get in touch just to find out how she is. I haven’t seen/ heard from her (them) in 2 years. I’m an only child- we have always been very close.
Is he a danger to your mother?
Or is he suffering sum mental delusion (deterioration) wherein he thinks he's protecting your mother from things existing only in his head ie real to him but fantasy in reality.
Finding out his motives if possible (talking to his friends, children etc) would go along way toward finding a solution to this problem. If his motives be criminal intent, the police need be alerted definitely. People don't just turn on a dime and pivot 180 degrees 4 nothing. Could be simply cognitive decline & delusions of her being harmed thus him being hyper overprotective? U just dont know until you investigate enough to make a call to the authorities or to him and learn how to disarm his worries to reopen the door to your mother. People he still contacts regularly that you know as well is the best place to start. Seeing if he has changed toward them as well, about the same time, and if they have any real substantiated facts to back a plausible theory as to why. Talk to 2, 3, or 4 people and maybe you can piece together a picture that will at least in the meantime cut your stress down and long term hopefully allow you to reconnect.
When the police won't help without facts forcing them to get involved, you have to become the detective, DETECT and share what you find to get them included. Or find what you need to win your moms husbands heart & trust back over toward you reconnecting you w/mom! No easy answer to this short of alotta investigating. At least cell phones are free and faster than cars.
I would make sure the authorities know that you have legal DPoA for your Mom (and her husband if you have one) and have the paperwork or scans ready to show. Depending on the severity of your Mom's dementia, a new PoA created by her may not be legitimate. You can also consult with a criminal attorney to see what your best options/strategies are in this situation. I wish you success in finding and protecting her.