My 83 year old mom is healthy and active, she has no chronic illnesses.
My concern is, she is only concerned/obsessed with food, she overeats to the point where she takes to her bed for a few days to recover, she checks the time between meals. She is now eating every hour, between meals she snacks on, tea, coffee, fruit, biscuits, chocolates, cakes, ice-cream and whatever else is available.
She repeatedly claims she eats very little, she repeatedly claims she cannot eat sweet things, even while she is eating it. It does seem as if she is unaware of this, because she often asks out loud if she can be hungry.
We have to prepare and plan a menu otherwise she becomes very anxious about the next meal. All efforts to bring some awareness have failed, it is very distressing to see this. How do we manage?
Stress, the thyroid, ghrelin and leptin disorders could all be at play here.
If you think about it, it’s really a form of ageism to decide that Bella’s mom has dementia.
She has been described as a sugar addict and it has hijacked her gut and brain is my hunch. When someone is an addict, they don’t easily give up that which they are addicted to. If she were 35 we wouldn’t consider dementia. Many don’t admit to themselves that they are addicted to shopping, gambling, working, eating, the computer etc.
I know that there is a certain ice cream that once it finds its way into my home will be whispering to me until it is all gone.
Those healthy snacks hold no allure for a sugar addict until they are detoxed. If you give her a little sugar in the form of a bowl of pasta, a slice of bread, a bowl of fruit, it is almost cruel as it keeps the addiction going.
It brings to mind the alcoholic saying “one drink is too many and a thousand is never enough”.
I think your mom is addicted and not necessarily demented.
Ask her doctor if Wellbutrin would help. It’s an antidepressant that is used to help folks quit smoking and to lose weight. It helps with compulsions. My 95 yr old takes it for depression.
The healthiest thing I ever did to break a sugar addiction was the 10 day detox by Dr Hyman author of the Blood Sugar Solution. My husband is diabetic and a foodie. He asked me to read it for him years ago after seeing him on PBS. No surprise, he didn’t want to follow Dr Hymans guidelines but when I did the 10 day detox, I no longer craved starch or sweets after the 3rd day. Your mom may need a little help letting go of the sugar. Once she has it out of her system and given her body a chance to recover she may be able to have sweets again in moderation, but at this stage no amount will ever satisfy her.
If you can video her eating and sleeping it off and show it to her, it might help her see for herself what she is doing. Videos are wonderful teaching tools for us to see ourselves and are much harder to ignore than someone telling us what we are doing wrong.
Your Mom cannot eat what is not supplied in the home.
Try snack cups of applesauce in between meals.
Have her drink more water.
My grandmother also scrimped and saved, but from a different background and experience, the experience of fleeing the Turkish Massacres.
Is it possible your mother experienced hunger as a child or young person? If so, she might express anxiety as a fixation on food. My own father, who was neglected as a child, was fixated on food in his life. He didn't like leftovers, even the delicious ones like my mother's spaghetti or chicken chow mein (his mother brought home leftovers from her job as a school cook). He had to make a "snack" several times a day (a little ice cream, a little peanut butter, and some banana were a favorite). This was so important to him, I choose his MC facility based on whether they would be open to creating his snacks on his weird schedule.
As long as there was some cheeses, fruits and other snacks, I could have cared a less how much they ate. As long as they weren't choking via 'overeating' .....
The Silent Generation are typically the ones who went to bed without to begin with. I certainly didn't want any of that part coming back to them in the memories they did have left.
’if it quacks like a duck ….
I would as already suggested eliminate the sugary foods and substitute good, nutritional foods. To Findel's list I would add carrots, celery, and fruits of the season (lower sugary ones if possible).
The overeating and ensuing needed bed rest is alarming. I think I would have one of her doctors check her for diabetes; that much sugar upsets the body.
If you have to, use the Indiana Jones approach: remove the sugary foods but substitute them with something she can nibble on that's more healthy. Protein foods could work. I've always loved to nibble on turkey and chicken.
I think the lack of food satisfaction is contributing to the food and meal anxiety.
Food obsession and anxiousness over when he next meal is coming minutes after finishing the last one is a very common form of OCD associated with some forms of dementia. It's not the same thing as a bored elderly person who has nothing to do except wait for the next meal. It's a type of OCD. I've seen the kind of food obsession you're describing with many different care clients who have been on my service over the years.
Talk to your mom's doctor. Explain the food obsession. The doctor can prescribe her medication to help with the OCD behavior too.
I will try and see if she will consent to seeing a doctor, I have strong doubts.
With dementia and over eating or under eating is that the person does not recall when they ate or thinks they have already eaten.
I would take her for a full check up. Make sure the doctor is aware of this and for how long it has been going on. (I would be sure to mention that there have been times when "she has consumed so much she has to take to her bed for a few days to recover")
If everything seems to be fine I would discuss with the doctor about prescribing antianxiety medication.
In the mean time lock up all the sweets, cakes, candy, ice cream, cake... Let her have the fruits in moderation, tea and coffee should not be a problem unless she is heavy handed with sugar.
Thyroid problems?
I'd seek medical advice.
dementia can do that. — but also some medicines. also boredom. one would have to analyze the specific case.
my LO went through that (extreme appetite).
we locked the kitchen and left a basket of fruits to snack on.
the phase lasted about 3 months, then the appetite returned to a normal level.
i hope your mother improves!!