My dad is in mid-level dementia. He can’t make sense of time or what day it is usually. He is basically pretty confused on a day-to-day basis. However, when I went over there today, he was just like his old self before he got dementia. I was totally shocked, is this normal? How long does it last? Will it happen again? Has anyone else experienced this?
Enjoy those days while they last as there will come a day when he will be too far along in his dementia and will no longer be "his old self."
My father had a stroke which left him very confused. His speech was affected badly and he needed speech therapy for quite awhile.
He was never the same man as he had been after his stroke occurred.
He would mix up words and say something like a ‘gallon of paint’ instead of saying’a gallon of milk.’
He knew what he wanted to say but his brain couldn’t follow the signals.
Occasionally, he could speak clearly and concisely. It would always surprise me when he had moments where he could speak clearly, just as he had before he had his stroke.
Bedridden, cannot read, barely moves a muscle, incontinent, thinks she’s 20 or in her 40s, thinks she’s a student or teacher, claims she’s never heard of family members who send her cards, and asks for her parents. Swears I am not her daughter.
Yet she is incredibly articulate, having lost no verbal skills.
A few times a year the staff catches her trying to climb out of bed. She’s been found in the chair in her room. Once this happened, PT was brought in to encourage her. She told them off and stopped moving again for months.
I never know what to expect when I visit. Maybe 90% of the time she thinks I’m just a friendly stranger. But when she does recognize me, she leans in, locks eyes and rages at me. I flash right back to being a little kid. It’s truly shocking. Fortunately staff and my husband have witnessed it. I want to run out the door and never return. I would have to call that “lucid” because she recognizes me, knows she’s old and yells at me for the usual stuff.
Dementia is BAFFLING!
It is shocking and frightening to me when it happens, but then I realize that it's just another one of those moments or time frames, so I just go with it, knowing it will soon pass - which it does.
Dementia is such a horrible condition and so hard not only the loved one, but certainly the caregivers. My prayers go out to all caregivers dealing with this.
My FIL is still early stages. He also has a personality disorder that made it quite perplexing to differentiate between dementia and the NPD for several years because of his poor decision making for years prior to the dementia (meaning that the progress into dementia seemed slower to us because he's ALWAYS made terrible choices, stretched the truth to fit his narrative, and "remembered" things differently that everyone else anyway).
But he most definitely still has a good number of very lucid days right now mixed into the days when he's just not there. DH or his sister will call each other and say "He's baaaccckkk". as a warning to be prepared for shenanigans (he's in a nursing home) because his non-lucid days actually tend to be slightly quieter than his lucid days as far as the insane number of phone calls and demands.
We were flabbergasted to find that he is still quite capable of designing and executing quite elaborate manipulations on his lucid days. And then the next he's completely unable to figure out how to swipe his phone to open it and answer a phone call or turn the volume down on the tv.
It has taken US quite a bit of adjusting because right now we are seeing a lot more of the lucid days interspersed with the non-lucid days. I keep warning my DH and his sister that the lucid days will start getting fewer and farther between and that there is a super good chance that his crazy manipulative side is just going to mesh with the non-lucid side and become the new and chaotic next thing.
Hang in there! You’re not alone.
Each day is a new day, new experiences, and the unknown.
You're not going to change anything that's happened in the past, what's happening now, and what's going to happen tomorrow.
You're dealing with a disease that has turned someone you loved into someone else. It's difficult from day to day wondering when it's going to end, if it ever does.
Once she recovered from Covid -- during which she slept about 20 hours a day for two weeks -- she was back to her old confused self and lived another seven months.
Read Teepa Snow's website.
She explains all levels of dementia and which parts of the brain are affected.
I have been astounded by my (now passed) client who had advanced dementia and spoke jibberish. Every once in a while, she would say "Hi" or respond "Okay" or "Hi Sweetheart." We don't know how the brain neurons - synapses connect as they do. Often, dementia is still a mystery to scientists.
And, there isn't any normal. It is what it is and people are individuals with different brains losing cells at different speeds/time.
Gena / Touch Matters
I am sorry you had to lose your wife in this very painful, very lonely way. But what a gift she also gave you.
I noticed that about me...When I am in pain, I find it difficult to stay on task, read a book, or talk. All I want to do is lay there and watch television and talk in simple sentences....and sleep.
My Mom had a UTI. Yes she had pain with the UTI, however, since she has constant arthritic pain, it wasn't noticeable to us. Within 2 hours of taking Cipro, she was able to walk and talk in full sentences. Prior to that, she couldn't remember how to stand, or even move her legs and her speech was limited to yes and no.
I like your theory on oxygen levels, however, I would have thought we could see it on the oxygen sensor. I didn't.
Exercise? I'm not sure it plays a part, other than to remind the brain how to move given certain signals. To me it appears that sometimes you have to remind the brain of what to do. For instance, these days, sometimes my Mom cannot remember how to stand (which includes being able to balance) from sitting on a chair. However, if I can successfully get her to stand just once from sitting in a chair, she can do the same movement over and over with ease, until her muscles are too tired to do it anymore.
I'd be happy to run some tests on her. She is still verbal, just not as verbal as she used to be.
When she moved to a facility, she always knew who I was. But, she forgot my sister.
Underlying awareness for fleeting moments? Yes.
Lack of self control? No.
The physical process that leads to uncharacteristic behavior is a deteriorating brain - Swiss Cheese at first then dead and dying gray matter that look like burnt charcoal. This is an awful disease without ability for “self-control” and blaming the victim isn’t helpful. Continuing to meet them where, when and who they are at each moment is the truest form of love.