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My 94-year Mom recently moved into a retirement home. She has settled in well. She enjoys getting meals delivered to her apartment, but has little to no interest in socializing (going downstairs for meals or engaging in activities). Her appetite is good. Sometimes, we can interest her in a tv show, although her attention-span is minimal. Her hearing is poor (she has refused hearing aids). We have a PSW walk her x2 daily, although Mom is only willing to walk down the hallway x1 each time.
My concern is that she sleeps—a lot. She gets tired in the early afternoon, and takes a nap. The PSW gets her up for dinner, and Mom wants to go to bed right after dinner. She even nods off during visits, and just wants to go to sleep. She’s already in bed by 6:30 p.m.
It seems as though she’s retreating/going inward.
I’m wondering if anyone else has encountered this with their parents who are over 90 years old.

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I am the Caregiver to my sister who is ONLY 74 (I am 75) and has Dementia so we live together because she simple needs 24/7. AND she sleeps pretty much 12 to 14 hrs a night. Never takes naps but she is bored & I can only entertain her so much so watches much TV and because I have 2 other disabled family members I take care of....
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My 90-year-old mother sleeps around 18 hours a day. She has very little attention, but will watch a bit of tv. And her appetite is so-so. She has a hearty breakfast, but then just a bit for lunch and sometimes nothing for dinner. Still, her bloodwork is perfect. She does have dementia, and that's a hallmark of later stages dementia. If you're asking my opinion -- I'd say let her sleep. Her brain and body must need it.
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Another that depends. Have you asked the doctor about it. All the elders I know sleep more, even if interested in life and events. That said, anxiety and depression (in reaction to change) can lead to over sleeping and dementia’s progression leads to increasing sleep. So again, refer back to doctor to see if there is a health cause
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An increasing amount of sleep is often not something you can fix.
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Hi there. First does your mom have any health issues, not all elderly do. Is your mom on any medications that could sedate her? Next, what is her blood pressure running and her pulse? Is this sleepy tiredness a change since moving? If it is a change it could be a sign of depression esp with her not wanting to socialize? How is your mom’s blood pressure if it is low she will be tired, esp if she’s on any bp medications that may need adjusting. Is your mother hydrated well. A certain amount of age related tiredness occurs as we age, but if it is new I would ask her nursing staff to monitor her bp and ask about her lab values to rule out issues. Speak with her doctor. That gives you a starting point.
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My mom is 92, has dementia and sleeps at least 18 hours a day. My dad still cares for her and we have 2-8 hour days of a caregiver who gets her up and gives her a shower. I go up 3-4 days a week as well. Shes always sleeping and we have to get her up, she always says that she can’t get up because she feels bad. She says she can’t wait till she’s back to her old self, other times she doesn’t even know she’s in her own home. My dad complains that she’s up and down at night, no wonder cuz she sleeps so much during the day. I feel it’s just a part of the decline.
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Have her doctor check her for infections, cardiac issues, and the like. If nothing is of concern, get used to the idea that she is just getting older and tires easily.
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At 94, let her do whatever she wants. She is probably winding it down and will sleep more and more until she passes.
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Danielle123: Perhaps a CBC Panel can be ordered.
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My mom, who moved in with me at age 94, slept alot. She was awake for showers/dressing, meals, to use the bathroom and to watch a little TV. She would just doze off in her recliner. Towards the end, she slept even more which I didn't think was possible.
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Ask her Dr to check her lab work, and also ask the Dr speak to her about how she is feeling in private. She may just have some lab irregularities, or she may be going through some things emotionally that she doesn't want to burden you with. The Dr can help her with either issue.
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We have, yes, she sounds like my 93 yr old father. He has several health issues that could lead to that level of tiredness, but it can also be grief (my 61 yr old brother died in August), or adjusting to a new situation.
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it was much the same for both of my parents ages 94 and 95 in assisted living place. Nothing to be done. Other things begin to stop and eventually it was hospice time. I miss them!
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Sleep is important. Let your mom sleep. She is 94 and that's incredible!
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Yes, my mother slept 20 hours daily at age 94. But she had several medical issues.
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My mom is 96, in Assisted Living, and wants to sleep all the time as well. Most of the time when I visit with her, she is just so, so sleepy. It's normal to a certain extent (at her age), but lately she sleeps all the time, is very confused with some hallucinations, and has trouble getting up and around. All of which had me pretty worried. After a trip to the doctor with routine bloodwork and urinalysis, it showed her B12 was very very low. So, we will be addressing that next week and will hopefully get her perked back up a little. If your mama hasn't had bloodwork done in a while, you may want to think about getting it checked to see if there is some underlying cause of her lethargy.
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I work in hospice. Not trying to alarm anyone but sleeping alot, fatigue, lack of speech, no socializing, no energy to walk, declining food starts to happen in the final stages of all forms of dementia or advanced senility of the brain. The brain an organ could take up to 3 decades to fully deterioriate, and all of these things described would qualify this person for the daily benefits of hospice. All of these things considered normal part of the experience as the body just slowly shuts down. Perhaps talk to the community nuse about a referral to hospice..
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jemfleming Jan 20, 2025
Aside from pain relief, if there is any chronic pain, what are the daily benefits of hospice when they reach the stage where they sleep more and more and interact and eat less?
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Is she overweight? Has she been checked for sleep apnea?
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My mom is 94 yrs old and does the same thing.
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My Dad will be 93 next month and is the same. He does have dementia and hip replaced TWO YEARS ago. He can no longer stand alone and recently went incontinent. We never imagined he’d last this long. He is always drifting off. When he’s awake I tell him I’m not going to sit and watch him sleep, he says “get out of here while you can!” His sense of humor is still showing through. Hugs to you!
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Tatanka6 Jan 20, 2025
I love your dad’s humor! God bless his heart and you for caring about him.
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It is, Danielle--very normal. And we often get this question on AC. My own Dad said that, thought well in every way in early 90s, and having had a wonderful life, that he was pretty much exhausted all the time. He hated to get up in the morning and he longed for naps and bedtimes. He tried so hard, for my worried Mom, but he had little appetite and wanted, as he called it, "the last long nap".
It's difficult for us to imagine when young, but I at 82, assure you, we get more and more and more tired, and we long more and more to sink under that feather tic.

If you research "elders and sleep patterns" you can learn a lot. Especially if there are any dementia issues at all, one is VERY LUCKY when sleep is the longing, and not agitation.
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Danielle123 Jan 2025
Thanks so much, AlvaDeer. This is very helpful.
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Your mom at 94 years of age I'm sure is tired. I'm guessing we all will be at that age.
As one nears the end of ones life they also tend to sleep a lot.
So whether your moms life is nearing its end or if she's just tired, I say to just let her sleep as she's earned the right at 94 to do as she pleases.
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My 96 y/o dad sleeps constantly. He fell asleep yesterday in the sitting room with my husband and I sitting there with him. I waited a half hour for him to wake up,

He's old and has earned the right to sleep whenever he wants.

His vitals are better than mine. Despite being incontinent blind and immobile and having mild dementia, he is healthy.

I am not concerned.
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My 95-yr old Mom (who is probably way more physically active than her cohorts) has recently started to sleep in longer. She was always an early riser (6:30am), and went to bed about 10pm-ish. She is now waking up and starting to function at 8:30 or 9am and it's driving her crazy. She does also doze off watching tv in the afternoons. This new routine doesn't alarm me at all, since she's not on any new meds and has been slowing down on all fronts of late. As we age it takes a lot more energy to do a lot less of what we used to do. And, it takes us longer as well. My 105-yr old Aunt was (up until recently) still getting up at 6 or 6:30am -- and she's been retired since 1977! She would have 1 afternoon nap for about 1 or 1.5 hrs, then function alertly the rest of the night, and went to sleep at about 11pm. This is my Mom's sister. It's all so individual.
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Is she on any new medications that may cause this as a side effect? If not then this is probably part of her new normal, as the elderly approach their final years they tend to spend more time sleeping.
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Danielle123 Jan 2025
No, I think that this is probably her new normal.
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I think you’ll find this pretty common. My dad turned into a world class napper as he aged more. His body and mind, despite having no dementia, were simply tired. The same activities didn’t hold their old interest anymore. Sounds like your mom is doing well for her age
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