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My dad has Alzheimer’s for several years and I believe he maybe in his last stage of the disease. 3 months ago he also got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, liver cancer and lung cancer. He is in the hospice care program at my home. He has been having bowel movement problem for almost a year and now he is bed bound. The last few days he did not eat or drink much. He also maybe in pain since he groaned and moaned a lot. Since my dad can’t communicate, it’s so hard to figure out what is wrong with him and if he feels pain and where. Doctor gave him 4 to 6 months before the cancer cells become active and destroy his internal organs. Doctors refused treatment for my dad since my dad is close to 90. I don’t know how to comfort my dad. I hold his hands and he seemed to squeeze my hands a little with whatever strength he has left. He is in pain when I lift his legs to change his diaper. I gave him morphine when he groaned too much. Feel hopeless seeing him dying like this.

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You do not wait till someones in pain to give them pain meds in this scenario. You want Dad to have no pain. So its now pain management. Giving it to him often enough to keep the pain at bay. This you need to talk over with the Hospice Nurse. He should never be in pain. This is why he has Hospice.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Thank you everyone for your comments and comfort thoughts. As of today, I believe my dad won’t have much time left in this world. I gave him morphine around the clock and this helped him with the pain. We managed to feed my dad some water but not much.
we are prepared for his funeral now and just hope my dad goes in peace.
Much appreciate all your inputs.
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waytomisery Jul 18, 2024
Sorry .

You are doing a great job .
Don’t worry about feeding him . He does not need food and may actually choke or aspirate . If he wants water ok , until he can’t anymore swallow . You could also keep his mouth moist with swabs .
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I’m not sure if your dad is close to dying but he certainly sounds like he is in pain.

Your dad shouldn’t be dealing with so much pain. When did he see the nurse last or the CNA? Is he in pain when the CNA bathes him?

Talk to the hospice nurse to better understand how to manage his pain.

I’m sorry you and dad are going through this difficult time.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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If your dad is in pain or if he's just agitated, please talk to his hospice nurse as they can provide more medication for both.
And if you would prefer, hospice can transfer your dad to their hospice facility for him to live out his final days. Hospice will cover that cost 100% if your dad dies within 7 days.
All hospice homes are beautiful, peaceful and the 24/7 care is outstanding.
It sounds like it won't be long before your dad leaves this world for the next, so make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Yes, it sounds like you're dad is dieing, yes this is horrible, it's hard and it sucks, and I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's so hard.

He may not be in pain it may just be anxiety, but talk to the hospice nurses about it. They should be able to adjust his meds accordingly.

Your dad is so lucky to have you by his side, doing everything you can for his comfort. And to of lived in his 90s he I'm sure had an amazing life that is something to celebrate.

🙏😔
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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cover9339 Jul 15, 2024
Yes it probably is.
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My FIL and husband's Grandmother both passed from pancreatic cancer. Almost no one makes it past 2 years with that cancer. Please make sure he is pain-free and comfortable. Others have responded with wise advice that you should accept. May you receive peace in your heart on this final journey with him.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I guess is that your father is moving closer to death, because his food intake is dropping and he is clearly desperately unwell.

Higher doses of morphine (or equivalent) from Hospice should reduce the pain, but you need to know and accept that he will probably sleep or lose consciousness along with it. Some people think the morphine ‘killed’ their parent, and feel guilty and very angry about it. Quite possibly, damping down the body functions does indeed lead to a quicker death, but it isn’t the cause of death and it is a blessed release. It was what happened with my mother, and I didn’t regret her dying a day or two more quickly.

In the meantime, as well as holding his hands, you might like to do a very gentle massage – in fact just stroking his body. It may relax him and help with the pain, as well as being a lovely thing for you to do and for him to receive.

Very best wishes to you both, and love from Margaret
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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I'm so sorry this is happening. My dad was released from ICU in bad shape back to his nursing home on hospice Saturday. Is your dad eating? The hospice nurse told me when dad starts refusing food and water that death is imminent. Dad is still taking a few bites/sips of thickened liquids (swallowing issues), so I guess he's still holding on. My dad is not in pain, but we are looking for signs and the morphine should be around the clock if he is from what I've been told. You might want to find another hospice organization if they are not on top of this. Hugs, this sucks watching our dads go through this.
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