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My husband needs to be lifted off of the toilet. He cannot slide from the toilet to his wheelchair ( there is a 3 to 4 inch height difference), but can from chair to toilet. I am lifting him from the toilet to the chair. I have tried to get home help with this toileting problem. Every agency I contacted said that their people do not do any lifting. Private aids will do it, but usually are not insured against injury, and I was told they will "sue the pants of you" if they are injured. The bathroom is too small to get a mechanical lift in. Any suggestions?

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This is all very dangerous no matter who is trying to do it. It is always a two person job to be done safely. It is time for placement when care can no longer be safely done at home.

Meanwhile do consider checking with your homeowner's insurance about your umbrella policy, which should be a very good one. You will need coverage if anyone is injured. Check this with an elder law attorney as well.

I would say you have tough decisions ahead. None of this will get any better. I am so very sorry.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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cover9339 Aug 12, 2024
It can be if the OP's husband has little to no strength. Too bad there is no grab bar by the toilet, that is a big help.
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First I would recommend your husband now use a condom catheter as that will make your life much easier as you only need to empty the catheter bag twice a day.
Then you can hire an aide to come in to put him on a bedside commode which you can put anywhere and will give whoever more room to work in for him to poop.
When my late husband who had a permanent catheter was completely bedridden, I had his bedside commode right next to his bed(which was in our living room)and hired an aide to come every morning to put him on it.
Now my husband was a morning pooper, so that worked out really well. She used a gait belt to lift him out of the bed and then off of the bedside commode. She was a trained CNA, so knew how best to lift him.
If all this gets to be just too much for you it may be time to have him placed and let those at the facility take on his care.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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From personal experience doing this temporarily (thankfully), I know exactly what you're talking about.

Does he have any strength at all to scoot over from the toilet? If he does, try to get the chair as close to the toilet as possible, so he doesn't have to move to far to get back to the chair? Does the chair have removable armrests (if equipped)?
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MargaretMcKen Aug 12, 2024
Cover, you were expecting to 'get better', and you did. OP's DH is only going to get worse. It's time to change things now.
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I'm so sorry about your husband and what you are going through.

I feel like this is to much work for one person. Your going to hurt yourself and won't be any help to him. I hardly ever say this, I leave it up to others to say, but I do feel it's time to place your husband. Then you can visit him and spend more quality time with him.

This is just to much, best of luck
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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OP, your profile says “I don't know how long I can keep doing this”. Don’t keep on until you injure yourself or drop DH. Assume that the time has already come when you can’t ‘keep doing this’. A quicker decision may be the best thing for both of you.
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Add grab bars and replace the toilet with an appropriately handicapped height toilet.

For example: https://tinyurl.com/4mpd6786
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Reply to MyNameIsTrouble
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MargaretMcKen Aug 12, 2024
You can buy extra-height seats to put on top of the regular seat, or on the china top of the toilet. That might help, much easier than replacing the whole toilet pan.
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I’m hoping you are talking about bowel movements and are using a urinal otherwise. Has he had home health for therapy? There are a variety of possible solutions that a therapist might be able to identify or they could tell you if it is simply unsafe and you need to use disposable briefs/bedpan(which you should be doing now to prevent a back injury).

Your situation has many variables that we don’t know and ideally should be assessed by a professional in person. In the meantime, do not risk yourself by transferring him alone. Caregivers can help manage bowel movements from the bed and teach you if your husband is able to turn himself.

Edited to add: I just read your bio(thank you for that) and agree with others that it may be time for placement. Until that happens, get caregivers in to help you. They will know how to manage toileting without unsafe transfers.
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Reply to MidwestOT
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It sounds like the safest option for you is a Hoyer Lift.
There are other options but you say in your profile...and by the way THANK you for adding that info...that his arms are getting weaker.
The option that You would have suggested would have been a Sit To Stand or even mounting a Trapeze bar to the ceiling above the toilet. but both of those would require more leg and arm strength.
Or getting an appropriate height toilet or riser. There are ADA height toilets, there are actual risers that can be put under the toilet to raise it even more and there are risers that can be placed on the toilet seat.
The other 2 options that you probably do not want to get into is just using the commode he can more easily use or letting him use the Adult Incontinence products and changing him in bed
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Problem 1. Lifting a person. This is unsafe for anyone, a spouse, family member, aides.
That needs to stop.

Suggestion: OT home visit to assess transfers & what equipment could make this safer.

Eg If insufficient leg strength for standing with grab rail, then toilet raiser & slide board. If not working, standing machine or hoist to a commode - wheel over toilet (if continent to hold) or have a bedpan tray under (if not).

Problem 2. Will equipment be able to be managed by ONE caregiver?

If 2 x assist, that leads to;

Problem 3. Toilet timing. How to have the 2nd caregiver (aide) there for every toileting?

It is very challenging. We would all aim for dignity to use the toilet but sometimes the functional & mobility needs mean other options need to be explored.
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Reply to Beatty
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Thank all of you for your help. To answer some of your questions...We already have a raised toilet seat. We also have grab bars surrounding the toilet. He cqn not use his legs - they are virtually paralyzed - and his arms are getting weaker. Spinal stenosis is the diagnosis. We have only a powder room on the first floor of our house (he cannot get upstairs even with the stair chair we had installed) which is small. There is no way to get a hoyer or any other lift in it. We tried a slide with OT but they couldn't make it work within the confines of our bathroom. A bedside commode is a possibility, but for me would be a last resort. I really don't want hubby pooping in the living room, and I also don't look forward to cleaning it.
He has no other medical problems except for edema in his feet, so it would be a shame to confine his to a nursing home. At age 92 his mind is still as sharp as ever. I guess I'll just have to keep doing what I'm doing and hope I can hold up.
Thanks.

OT and PT have been coming, but they have not had a solution to our problem. We tried a slide board
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Reply to Dillsburglady
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Why isn't he in a care facility with professionals to take care of him? Of course you can't go on doing this, and no one would blame you if you placed him NOW.

It's not a kindness to him for his life to be so difficult when it doesn't have to be. It can't be easy for him to have these toileting problems and (as I am sure he is) worried that something will happen to you, in which case he will definitely be placed with you possibly being unable to even visit him. Or even have much of a choice in where he's placed.

Put him where his condition requires him to be now, regroup, and become his loving advocate. You will have the support of his caregivers there and everyone will be much better off.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Would raised toilet seat with bars help him? If he can get from chair to toilet I think it is possible. Of course consult OT.
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Reply to Evamar
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I recommend a commode if it will fit the area. My GF had a very small bathroom and I set one up for her. Commode legs are adjustable. And you have arms to help him. On the back is a back support that can be taken off. (With my GF I just put the toilet seats up but they can be removed) This makes it possible to center the commode over the toilet. New Commodes should come with a bucket and a splash guard. You want the splash guard. The bottom edge should go below the rim of the toilet. The commode has its own toilet seats. If no splash guard available, cut the bottom out of the bucket.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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@Dilsburglady...
There are hinges that you can use, replace regular hinges and these "Swing Clear" hinges will give you about another inch or two clearance. That should make it a bit easier to get 2 people in the bathroom.
I hate to say it but you may be looking at a situation where he will be bedbound if he can not maintain upper body strength. This will make things more difficult for you in some respects but it might be easier to get caregivers if they are not lifting your husband as that seems to be the crux of the matter for them.
I will addd...if your husband is a Veteran the VA does have some programs that they will do modifications to make it easier for a Veteran to remain in their home. So if he is a Vet you might want to look into that.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Thank you for all the additional information. I know that no one wants to use a bedside commode, but sometimes that’s the best option. You can buy commode liners that can be closed and put in the trash, not pleasant but workable. There are a variety of ways to do transfers to bedside commodes, sometimes using a bariatric commode, which has a flat platform(the patient still needs to be able to participate to some extent). It sounds like there is simply not room in your bathroom for safe transfers to the toilet, even with two people assisting. I hope you can keep working with the therapists to figure out a safe solution for yourself/caregivers.
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Reply to MidwestOT
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I hope this info helps.. I've been making my dads aging a little easier for about 4 years now. His health has just been getting progressivly worse. I feel your husband should start wearing depends in case he cannot get to the bathroom fast enough. If he is strong to stand he'll have to clean himself and not ask you to do it. If his arms are really weak grab bars help temporarly. dad had the same problem, Never went the commode route, to each is own. If its just the beggining of his deterioration I would look into housing for the future as it will become more of a burden on you (no offense to your hubby). He'll only become more dependent and you don't want to lose yourself or feel like your sacrificing yourself either, I lost my self and now coming out of it. Protect you by getting him help earlier than later like with Adult Day Care, Medicaid is an option or a nursing home. Sorry this is happening it sucks so much!!
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