In a few weeks, I am going for a job interview - same line of work but different environment. Should I tell them about how I care for my mother and take time off on a monthly basis?
And this leads me into feeling torn about interviewing in the first place. My current job and boss have been incredible these past five years. I also have great paid time off and FMLA at my disposal. Yet my current company is struggling financially and the future appears bleak. No match on retirement anymore.
So I feel torn interviewing but need to think about my future. I've turned down other work opportunities and interviews before. These are my prime earning years - 41 yrs old. Should I tell them at the interview that I may be coming with some baggage
Just wanted to update that the interview itself went really well. They seemed to like me and I am glad I did the interview. It bolstered my self esteem and made me feel good that I can still compete at that level. I am in academia.
First I met with the interview panel and then separately with the director of the organization. It was with the director of the organization that I told her about caregiving for my mother and how I probably take an average of 1- 3 days off a month (not counting hospitalizations). She was very respectful and seemed to appreciate my candor. The way I phrased it was something like "I've done the hiring process myself on the other side of the table and I think it is important for you to truly get the whole picture of me as a candidate." She claims it would not be a factor in her decision.
At this point, if I were offered the job, I have reservations and may simply stay put where I am now. I'll contribute more to my Roth IRA that I have already started since the employee match at my current company will never return to us. At my current company, I am immensely grateful for the understanding boss I do have and great colleagues who understand. Can't put a price on that.
As for the company being financially shaky, they all are! I took the perfect job that I loved in July 2007 only to get laid off in October 2008 when everything collapsed. There are no guarantees. I don't know what your company does but you never know when an unexpected windfall could land in their laps.
If you do decide to change jobs, I would tell them during the interview process and not after you receive an offer. They will feel duped and you'll be off on the wrong foot. If the company is large enough and you interview first with an HR department I would explain your care giving obligations. If your care giving situation is like mine and you never know from day to day when you might have to make a mad dash to a hospital, then I wouldn't even consider leaving your current job until you have care-giving back up.
I've been taking care of my mom (and my dad when he was still alive) for about 15 years, with each of those years getting increasingly difficult. My advice comes from experience learned the hard way!
I would honestly consider staying where you are if you can afford it. You have their support and understanding of the situation with your mom and that has a value that is probably greater than the retirement match.
Is your mom in a position to pay you for your time? This could be a solution to you increasing your contribution.
Let us know what you decide and how it works out.
Best luck, I hope you get what you desire.
But my spouse and I disagree so I thought I'd throw it out there. He says I'm giving the potential employer a chance to say no to me for illegal reasons. My thinking is if I am out too much caring for Mom, technically I am fulfilling my job description as it is. I'd want to know upfront before taking that gamble.
Major kudos to the person who reminded me about PTO. I'd be starting to grow it all over again at this new job. Ugh.
If you decide to leave it is only fair to be completely honest with your potential employer. How would you feel if you got hired and started your job only to be told that you can only work for 4 weeks monthly and the other.33 weeks you are off payroll?
How would you deal if they said that they can't accommodate the time off and you will be replaced?
If you are forthcoming you can make sure that it works for all involved. I find hiding a known factor dishonest and I wouldn't be able to trust you as an employee and I would be replacing you. However, if you had a solution that would make it work for everyone I would be willing to give it a shot, but only if you were honest up front.
I am kind of surprised that most companies haven't stopped matching now, but clearly you found another who will. You do have to think of yourself. Have you gone to the employer you care about very much and explained why you are leaving, and that you wish it wasn't necessary? Perhaps your compensation would be bumped up. Seems you do have job offers out there so you likely wouldn't lose your future should eventually you have to leave.
It's a hard decision. It would be hard for ME. Wish you luck. Hope you will update us.