My mother spends her days trying to find things in my house to destroy. It is relentless, all day long. If I try to stop her from breaking something or tearing something up she punches, slaps, kicks, puts her hands around my neck, knocks my phone from my hand, bites .... whatever she can do, and then later accuses me of being the one who caused it. I'm so sick of feeling like I'm under siege in my own home. She goes from door to door banging and kicking, gets in the oven, the fridge, the countertop, the bookcase, the entertainment center, the blinds on the windows, you name it, one after the other, over and over and over. One time today when I took something from her she literally growled at me. She cries, she screams, ..... when she was on the geriatric psych floor they said she bit them and would throw herself on the floor like a 2 year old having a tantrum. And yet I can't get any doctor to medicate her correctly. Her neurologist and two hospital doctors said it's psychosis and not just dementia. The psychiatrist at the hospital er says it's neurological and there's nothing more they can do on the geriatric psych floor so they won't admit her. Her GP doesn't like to give the type of meds she needs and wants a psychiatrist to prescribe them. He sent her back to the hospital, they gave her a shot and sent her home. Every doctor kicks it down the road. I have appointments for her with another psychiatrist and one with an elder care center to see if I can get help there. I'm so exhausted. I just don't want to do it anymore
My recommendation is to find a neurologist that specializes in geriatric care. We also have a palliative care doc and as well.
Mom is on Zoloft for depression
Remeron for sleep and Respiradole for psychosis......HUGE improvement for ALL
involved.
The meds were given over the course of the last year and doses were adjusted.
Pharmacology is complicated and takes patience.
Our goal is to make life as joyous and pain free as possible for Mom.
It takes a village and perseverance.
My heart goes out to you.
This is your big break. Say no to taking your mom back home and stick to your NO.
You must do whatever it takes to protect yourself. No one deserves to be abused or threatened, even if it's due to mental illness.
If you leave her in the Emergency Room, you can tell them that you are no longer able to care for her, and they will find a place for her.
This is my first post on this forum and I know you have asked for advice, which I sadly do not have, but I just wanted to let you know that I wish I could help you! Has you mum always been like that? Has her bad behaviour started in the last few years or was she always like that but just got worse over the last few years? I am going through the same thing, but with no medical help as my Mum refuses to be assessed. I doubt the authorities would believe I am getting hit and emotionally and verbally abused by what appears to be a frail little old 85 year old, so I guess she is banking on that. But that indicted a level of awareness. Is your mum aware of her behaviour and being manipulative, or is she not with it when she lashes out?
Welcome to this site! Everyone is very nice and I find a lot of great information and kindness here!
I know how it feels to be trapped! I'm legally trapped to take care of her, get her on medicaid, find her a place and then I have to clean up her home and sell it! But this stuff varies from state to state from what I understand! When she gets violent and mean, please call the ambulance! They'll come take her to the hospital and depending on how she behaves, perhaps they'll keep her for a while to examiñe her mental state! God bless you and I am sending you a big virtual hug!