They are in need of assisted living because my dad has begun wandering outside night and day. My mom realizes they need to move in to assisted living, but my dad doesn't understand. The assisted living person is urging us not to allow my parents to go home again (a six hour drive). My brother and I are uncomfortable with keeping them here through deception or coercion, even for their own good. We would like to allow them to go home, pack up their things, say goodbye to their friends, and return. Is that a bad idea? Their health is good otherwise.
I don't know that dad would understand what all is going on, but maybe mom needs to tie up some loose ends.... just a suggestion... let us know things go for you and your family....
I agree with spiritspry, let your Mom select what she's taking with them and move. You and your brother can then go back and clear out the house. Recent research has shown that it's not so much the sentimental attachment to things that makes it hard for seniors to move, it's the overwhelming task of sorting through them.