Mom is 92, lives alone.Walks sometimes with walker, will drive to grocery store by herself.My step-father passed 5 years ago.I visit in mornings for an hour to hour and a half. My brother checks-in, different times and in the evening and frequently brings her lunch or portions for supper.We did the meals-on-wheels for a while but it forced her to be at home every day at a specific time.
She complains that no one comes to visit or grandkids only stop if my brother or I are there.
She doesn't like to be taken to family gatherings because no one talks to her or its too long of a day. Usually some reason.
My sister lives in Texas, we are in Ohio.Our sister and her husband come at least 3-4 times a year and stay for about a week to visit.
Right now I look the complaining as it comes, boredom and some lonelyness.I look at it as bonding time with my mom.
How do others deal with this kind of aging?
That said.................I am 82, an old retired RN with a partner 84. So listen up.
Firstly, ALL of our kids are having physical problems in their 60s that would preclude their taking on much of anything, including US. Their "other mom" is, like yours, in her 90s. Both my parents lived to their 90s. My brother to 85.
So..... I am well qualified to tell you that this is a time not of contentment, but of losses. One loss after another and I could start up top with thinning hair, bad ears and eyes, and go down to the toes with numbness. You don't need to hear it, because hey, you have MOM.
This is the way of it. Some of us go gently, trying to keep woes away from our kids and some of us rant on about each and every loss large, medium and small (to saying nothing of our rantings about "the state of the world"; as though it was ever in some BETTER state?!).
Just to repeat, you are doing great. So is she. Eventually there will be some call: "Do you know we have your mother here at Cedar Spring Hospital". That is unless YOU end up at Cedar Springs first! But until then on you go.
I admire you are doing it as a cohesive and caring family, because that's something so seldom seen here. Try to pick out the beauty and laughter kicking and screaming; you must have it to survive. My best to you.
My mother was stubborn wouldn't move from her mountain home to FL where my brother & I live, she sat by herself watching game shows 24/7.
No doubt about it she was lonely and depressed. She finally had a slight stroke, she became afraid to be alone at night.
My brother and I scooped her up, moved her into an AL near us, she loves it, new friends, activities and no housework!
That was 5 years ago, she is now 99 and teaches sit down aerobics 3 times a week.
Sometimes this living in place thing is not what the media cracks it up to be.
Any county senior day care in your area, might be just what she needs.