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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My father has severe osteoarthitis and had 3 strokes. He cannot get out of bed by himself and deals with incontinence so he is in LTC. Since being there he is largely in denial that this is his new life. First he was hoping tramadol might be the fix that gets him to walk, that didn't work. Now he wants hip replacement which we are looking into. But even with a hip replacement, I'm not sure that it will be enough for him to walk again due to the damage done by the strokes. Do you ever give up trying to find "solutions"? How do you help your loved one come to accept this as their new reality?
Don’t ever be the person who takes away his hope. Hope is vital for us all, even when it’s lost some of its realism. He will either find out the reality over time or a doctor will bring the news. You can “be working on it” or “continuing to look into options” but not the bearer of bad news. You be the family member who’s there to hold his hand and bring comfort
My uncle is also in severe denial with his immobility and is dealing with it very similar to your father. It is mentally draining keeping up the encouragement and optimism when chances are slim he will walk again. It's been 6 months and he also speaks of surgery, antibiotics and there is now anger because he exhausted the 100 days on Medicare PT and he feels they didn't give him a chance.
At this point the denial is most likely a coping mechanism and you should go with what he suggest and tell him he should ask the doctor. I wouldn't spend much time tryi.g to convince him because it could possibly add stress anger and resentment. My advice is nod and encourage his range of motion exercises. Good luck. and if it is too stressful during visits, it's okay to take an break from visiting to maintain your mental wellbeing.
Stroke is a brain injury. Replacing a joint will therefore not cure any deficits caused by stroke.
However, a joint replacement may be of benefit to him if for other reasons. Eg Does he have severe hip pain? If so, does his Doctor say a hip replacement would benefit him? If so, is he a good candidate for surgery? (Factoring his stroke risk & dementia risk).
What's Dad's general mobility like? Walking well? Needing little supervision or assistance? Or needing assistance & equipment?
What's his general health like? His memory?
It may be good to take in the wider view for him. (He may not be able to).
PS It is common for Stroke Survivors to lack insight. (Medical term: Anosognosia).
PPS I didn't bother mentioning his 'going home plan'. It's not a realistic plan, it's a wish. But for thoroughness sake you may consider looking into a hip replacement.. before you change that from the plan-list to wish-list.
With dementia there are no solutions, no wonder drugs, no going back to who you were.
Sometimes we caregivers just need to shake our heads up and down and go about our business, we cannot fix them or convince them that there is no cure.
I have used the line " When your doctor gives us a release letter that you can go back to your apartment we will consider this option, until then you will remain here".
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
At this point the denial is most likely a coping mechanism and you should go with what he suggest and tell him he should ask the doctor. I wouldn't spend much time tryi.g to convince him because it could possibly add stress anger and resentment. My advice is nod and encourage his range of motion exercises. Good luck. and if it is too stressful during visits, it's okay to take an break from visiting to maintain your mental wellbeing.
However, a joint replacement may be of benefit to him if for other reasons. Eg Does he have severe hip pain? If so, does his Doctor say a hip replacement would benefit him? If so, is he a good candidate for surgery? (Factoring his stroke risk & dementia risk).
What's Dad's general mobility like? Walking well? Needing little supervision or assistance? Or needing assistance & equipment?
What's his general health like?
His memory?
It may be good to take in the wider view for him. (He may not be able to).
PS It is common for Stroke Survivors to lack insight. (Medical term: Anosognosia).
PPS I didn't bother mentioning his 'going home plan'. It's not a realistic plan, it's a wish. But for thoroughness sake you may consider looking into a hip replacement.. before you change that from the plan-list to wish-list.
Sometimes we caregivers just need to shake our heads up and down and go about our business, we cannot fix them or convince them that there is no cure.
I have used the line " When your doctor gives us a release letter that you can go back to your apartment we will consider this option, until then you will remain here".