My 91 year old Mom recently moved in with my husband and me. She has an occupational therapist who recommended various exercises for her to do to keep strong. Everyday is a battle and she finds excuses not to work out. She is expecting me to do more and more waiting on her when she can do most things herself. I am exhausted at the end of the day! She is very sensitive to ANY form of criticism and cries and says she wants to die if you say anything negative. The drama avoidance keeps me waiting on her ...am I being manipulated or is she just turning into a 91 year old toddler!!??
The one thing I don't do for my mom is to take her newspapers down to the recycling area. She will do that on her own when the cart gets full. And she does her own dishes. If the tasks you want your mom to do aren't time sensitive, then just wait to see if she does them. I learned with my dad that you can't make someone exercise. They're choosing how to live their lives and we have to respect those choices (and live with the consequences - sigh).
Mom and I finally realize everyone can make their own choices. This was his choice. I see him slipping physically and mentally day by day, but we still try not to nag. We really do not understand his choice of tv over life, but we realize it is his ultimate decision.
Blannie was really on target with that last sentence, I wish someone told me that 3 years ago.
This does not mean you have to allow yourself to be manipulated. Waiting on her when she can wait on herself is not healthy for either of you. But you do have to be willing to be flexible and make adjustments as her abilities change -- which they do quickly.
I can't think of any ways you can "make" her do her exercises.
The thing that works with my mother is to plant a suggestion seed. I'll say she needs to do her exercise. She'll make excuses and protest. I don't push her, but let her make her own decision. Often I'll see later that she is doing the exercises while I'm not looking. The rascal! :)
I am finding the older she gets, the less she wants to do the exercises. The last time she went through PT I gave up trying to get her to do the exercises. My mother is only 87, but her body is much older. "Only 87" sounds strange to me. However, so many other parents on the group are much older that 87 sounds young.