I have tried to be a good forum user by looking for answers from past posts and I'm sure there is one that would be super helpful for me but I'm brain-tired now. I have my own caregiver issues... but my husband is in a delicate time with his mom who is dying from cancer and is in home hospice. My husband and his brother are switching off weekly as the live-in caregiver. Professional caregivers come in twice a day for four hours and a hospice nurse stops by three times a week. Here's the problem. What to do when his mom refuses to let the caregivers change her diaper or help her put on a clean gown? I assured my husband that the caregivers are trained to deal with angry, mean, miserable people who are sick and dying and they know not to take anything personally. But the issue is, my MIL fights them off physically and seems to prefer to stay in a soiled diaper. My poor husband does his best to try and convince her to allow them to clean her but it does no good. He's got his own health issues; bad arthritis in every joint and when she fell after sneaking out of bed, he injured himself and had to go to the ER due to trying to carry her back to the bed. It was a disaster... He's now on muscle relaxers and painkillers and just isn't up to physically or emotionally wrestling with her about her hygiene. Can anything be done about this situation?
Agree with Geaton, can she tell you why she doesn't want changing?
If she is off dialysis, I believe that toxins start building up fairly quickly, which might affect her thinking.
As I said before, I think you need to address this with the hospice folks, i.e., the SW and RN assigned.
Hospice is about comfort care for the patient and for the family. It doesn't sound like anyone is comfortable right now.