I have had my mother since December in my home. She has moderate dementia. She asks me every single day if anyone is going to town,as she thinks she is going to move back to where she last lived. Before we caught on that she had dementia, she had moved 6 times in 4 years. Its driving me insane....She somehow thinks she will get better if she moves. There is no assisted living there or I would send her. Can you give me any ideas? Its maddening some days when she asks me 5 times.
Telling your mom how much you need her there with you was good advice. Also, try not to hover and do everything for you mom while she's at your house. Play down those things that you must do, like help her with her meds, help her bath, etc.
You might also give her some household chores she can do. The idea is to incorporate her into the family. Ask her advice on things, give her a list of things she can pick up for you when you take her to the grocery store (things you can do without if she forget to get a few things on the list). Ask her to help you fix dinner, do some laundry, etc. Make sure she has her own room with her own TV and even a little fridge and a microwave if there's room. If you have two bathrooms, make one of them her's alone. Let her have as much independence as she can have at your house. Hopefully steps such as these and time will work in your favor and mom will settle in and come to feel as if this is her home too, and that she's not just visiting.
here some useful tips:
Get the person’s attention.
Set a positive mood for interaction.
When the going gets tough, distract and redirect.
Remember the good old days.
All you can do is to be real demonstrative with her - Hugs, smiles, I love you - so that she will know that you will care for her. She's unhappy because of her age and losses. You can't fix that. You can agree with her if she says her life isn't so great. "Yes, I wish you were young again, and we all lived together in the old house. It's sad now, and your friends aren't around." God bless you. You have a good heart.
See All Answers