For a while I've been concerned about my mom's memory. Just little things I've noticed. Not remembering things that should come easy, personality seems a bit different. She is still driving and attends a class at a local university its a free thing they offer seniors in the area. She does not do the work but enjoys the lectures and the reading. She reads quite a bit as well. But yesterday we were attending calling hours for a family member. I had spoke with my mom twice that afternoon about when she would be arriving. She rode with my brother. When I got there I saw my mom and walked over said hi and gave her a hug. She looked at me and said I'm sorry your face looks familiar and I know I should know who you are. I was shocked because nothing like this has happened before. I responded by saying it's me Jill with a look of surprise. She then said did you change something you look different and I told her no and she knew who I was the rest of the evening. I'm very concerned by this. From what I've read its a late sign of dementia but I haven't seen anything else this alarming. Has anyone else experienced something like this? I called her later that evening to see how she was doing. I didn't mention what happened but neither did she.
1. Get a diagnosis from a neurologist ASAP. There are medications that can slow the progression, but nothing can cure the disease.
2. Get POA ASAP. Start taking over bills and paperwork.
3. She should not be driving. Period.
4. You will need baby doorknob covers and an Alzheimer's clock.
5. Join the Alzheimer's Dementia Caregiver's FB Support Group. You will need a group where you can vent without judgment and get great advice: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportgroup/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT
Get on the ball and start now!
You can purchase a locket and put your (and your brother's) picture in it.
But have her checked for UTI, that caused the early signs for my Mom, and once "cured" often return to more normal behavior.
Happened to my mom. She doesn't have dementia.
First, take her to Dr and have her evaluated for dementia. That way you will know and not be second guessing yourself. Then, prepare yourself, it’s a difficult, heartbreaking road ahead. Sorry, but it’s true. Join a support group and start looking into resources for yourself and your mom…help to come into the home, memory care facilities when home help isn’t enough. Educate yourself.
You mentioned that you hadn’t really seen any big issues until she forgot who you were. Hate to tell you, but if you lived with her 24/7, I bet you would’ve seen dozens of issues with her reasoning and memory.
Start a log.... Write the date and situation that occured. I think it must take a while to know.
This is a great message board but many on this board are dealing with certain dimentia after they know when it affects a person's daily activities.... They have forgotten when it didn't affect a person's daily activities. They will say that was a hard time and it gets harder but that doesn't help u with what can I do legally now.. I have to reread ur post cause I read too fast in the excitement of knowing someone posting in same stage. If it is dimentia in the future we will be able to respond like these old timers here. But it seems like in these early stages it could go in 2 directions . Normal aging and dimentia. Glad ur here as we struggle to understand what we have going on
Mum would have been predispositioned for dementia but the trigger was the sudden loss of my brother. Whilst on the plane overseas to take care of matters I suddenly observed Mum looking happy rather than grieveing. I asked her how she was feeling and she responded with “Good, but I’m just wondering who’s funeral we are going to?!”. I said the name of my brother and she responded with “Yeah I know the name but who is this person to us”. I couldn’t believe it!! I said,.. it’s your son!!
30seconds later the real world and grief came flooding back as she recalled the sad news we’d just received the day before.
That was the beginning and while we were overseas in our home country things started to show. Like she struggled with turning the shower on in the hotel as it was not motor memory being different from home.
I actually initially put it all down to shock ! Having seen movies with people being absolutely lost in grief. I though it was just a temporary stage and she’d come back to being herself. However, then she was diagnosed with dementia.
Then begin the denial stage of Mum refusing to accept the initial diagnosis. Now we are in severe stage and majority of the time she can’t stay on topic, can get lost in her own place. Sometimes she goes up and down the staircase and I allow her for a bit. I figure she is getting some exercise.
These instances were only brief when they occurred, but they were incredibly frightening and humiliating. Knowing how I felt then, and also how my own father feels now about losing his memory too, I wonder if your mother might feel much the same way. My heart goes out to the both of you.
Now that I have gotten off all those awful medicines, my memory has been getting better and better. I have not had any of those scary episodes since then either. Understandably, your mother is older like my father, and some of those symptoms are sadly almost expected. But is there any chance they might be chemically induced?
Keep her active and engaged for as long as possible, but put more safety nets in place around her and it's time to put up the car keys.
This is the start of a long process and my heart goes out to you.
Or contact HER doctor and ask for advice.
Time for you to be proactive. Hoping for you and mom.
That said, before my mother was officially 'diagnosed' with dementia, she started introducing me as her 'mother'. I thought she was joking at first, expecting to see her laughing, but she wasn't. That was the pivotal moment in time I KNEW something was wrong, and had her medically evaluated. Your mother forgetting your face is a huge red flag that she is having some cognitive issues herself, and is a lot further along than you suspect.
Best of luck and my condolences on a difficult situation.