They're not working good-- will of steel. colitis, 10 yrs hiBP, CDF for 6 yrs. She has an appointment with another dr in Nov. with a plethora of tests beforehand.
- she won't tell me - she's always been steadfast and determined ... a former RN... and doesn't take kindly to accepting help from me
- I've heard it said if one can "control" one's final days/exiting point, that caregivers have to accept that - I'm her only kid & the only of course caregiver
- if she heard me referring to myself as one, she'd hit the roof :)
Her family dr's office won't tell me anything. Mom's a 30+ year patient & I've learned painfully over the decades her dr sucks to deal with.
- I'm in this alone
- of course from the online research I've done there's only 2 treatments for the kidneys... mindful of the net & whoknows.. but neither dialysis or organ replacement is an option I'm sure at her age I don't know
- she voids 3 and now 4X/night - yes she's comforted that she wakes up to go
- her bowels are playing some havoc with her
God's graces she's been mobile for this long. I'm not asking anyone to play God here but can anyone please tell me as its tearing me apart inside and its a long 3 wks til the "kidney" appointment...
- it sounds inevitable, but do I begin really prepping for the end of life stuff?
- I know I should be there already... have been building the "folder" slowly
- I guess safe to say here that its been ftime+ hours these past 6 yrs trying to keep her happy and content... still trying lol
Thank you for any replies.
Man I never get those letters correct... its congestive heart failure, should have been CHF. I like your deciphering better lol.
Guess I didn't want too many topics in one question, and I guess its just my opinion that she has dementia. Her dr., her friends of what she has left, and all her relatives are adamantly agreed on that her brain is just aging. When ever they see her she's perky, bright, witty... the merry-go-round though not so merry.
Thank you for your replies and realization I just gotta sit and wait.
As a former RN, you can try to de-personalize the issues only by thinking of your mother as a patient so that you can put the medical issues in perspective. That might offer some insight into the "how long" question, then put aside your nurse's perspective and take advantage of the fact that you can maximize the time you have with your mother and make her life as comfortable as possible.
Impossible to switch drs. at this stage, have tried in many (good) ways to get the relatives to either see it, or care enough to phone, write, or maybe even stop in to visit her once a decade as 8 of them live within an hour. This is not due to her behaviour as she's treated them all since gold like birth.
I guess I'm at the point where I've done all I think I can. I'll never know. I guess its good we don't know what the future brings. The uncertainty and recognition that some things are just out of our hands is a tough one. Thanks again JessieBelle.
No one said end-of-life is easy.. I just hadn't anticipated the gut-wretchedness of it, and for so long.
Love and strength to every one on this site.