My mom has reoccurring sepsis and the doctor's say to get home hospice and let her die.
I am totally confused and scared. My 83 yo mother has gallbladder cancer and along with chemo and radiation (which she tolerated very well), she got a biliary drain and blood clots in leg. When they placed the biliary drain they knicked a blood vessel. She got her first sepsis attack 1 month ago. We were told it was from the biliary drain. After IV fluids and antibiotics for 2 weeks she seemed clear of it and was sent to an acute care hospital to recover. She cannot walk, is barely able to sit, cannot swallow, and is very weak. Only 1 week later she got sepsis again and rushed to ER for another treatment of IV fluids and antibiotics. This time the hospitals palliative care doctors told us that my mother will more than likely keep getting sepsis because of her cancer (they refuse this time to say it is from the biliary drain that had knicked her blood vessel) and suggested we take her home with hospice care and let her die "comfortably". From my understanding sepsis is not something you can die comfortably with. They said hospice can continue the IV and antibiotic treatments at home if we so chose and this would stop her visits to ER. My mother is adamant that she wants to stay in the hospital. She does not want the burden placed on me to care for her and she believes nurses and doctors in a hospital is best for her. But the last few days she has gotten so weak, is barely coherent, and has started to have delusions, she sees people that are not there. She keeps telling the nurses she wants to die, she does not want to live like this, to give her a shot and let her die, she begs me to help her die. I am so scared and so uncertain on what to do.
I'm so sorry to hear what are going through with your mom. I think its only natural to be scared and confused. Navigating this phase of life is very hard.
Please consult with the hospice and see what they can do to help your during this very difficult time. Try to reach out and get any support you can through counseling or a support group.
Thinking of you.
If you opt for hospice at home the hospice staff will not be there 24/7 to provide your mom care and the family will need to provide most of her direct care with bathing, toileting, etc. If she continues to develop sepsis I hate to say this but her time to pass may be near - in that case who knows they may keep her hospitalized.
Good luck to your family and God Bless your mom. Hope her suffering is soon over.
My mother, to me, seemed to be getting better. They got her low blood pressure, rapid heart rate, and pneumonia under control. Then she started to vomit and complain of sever nausea. Her kidney and liver values have increased and the palliative doctors said her organs are shutting down. She had gotten so much better and more alert than I have seen her in weeks. She is being transferred to a Hospice House later today, the doctors say she only has days...
You too of course. It's so hard to lose a parent, especially your mom.
Please know we're here for support, to talk, vent, cry or whatever you need. But do spend as much time as possible by your mother's side and reassure her that you're there - but it is equally as important to let her know that it's ok for her to go when the time comes. Tell her that you love her and will miss her, but that you'll be ok, and it's ok for her to go when she needs to. Sometimes they need us to tell them that so they can let go. I've had to do this with 3 relatives now (both parents and a grandparent), and they were gone within minutes of being told it was ok to let go - like they were just waiting for that confirmation.
I hope you have some peaceful days with Mom.
Thanks for the update about your mom. I am sorry about the news, but, it's a relief to know that your mom is receiving comfort and pain relief under Hospice care. This must be so difficult. Sending positive thoughts and prayers for your mom and your family.