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Wondering if visiting thru the window helps or makes mom more confused?

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Get a white board and eraser. My mom rarely talks anymore. If I use a whiteboard I get responses. I thought she was not comprehending until I started using it. If I write “Ken Love You”. When my dad comes down and greets her she will respond “Ken I Love You”. I have found I can ask questions now are you comfortable and have choices on the board Yes, No, not sure. Once in a blue moon she says not sure. It has opened up a new world for us. Maybe you could have two boards. One with a question the other with answers. Point at answers and see if she reacts.
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AnnReid Apr 2020
This is just wonderful! What a great solution. Communication is communication.
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It is better to visit than to just stop visiting. She can see her loved ones. What she would think if you just stopped, nobody truly knows. How would you feel if you just stopped?
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That really depends on you and your mom. YOU need to keep your visits brief and time them so you are not disrupting her normal routines and those of the staff - I've been told of one family that spends literally hours singing, dancing and pantomiming messages to a loved one and while that may make them feel connected it is causing chaos.
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Does it help you? You get to see her and know she is OK. Confusing for her, probably, but if she suffers from Dementia everything is confusing. Like said, just keep it short.
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Can she hear you, as well? Is she able to respond?

I suppose at least it's nice for you that you can set eyes on her and see that she's sitting up and taking notice, at least. Just try to assess whether it's really doing your mother good by watching how she responds, and don't feel guilty about giving the visits up if you conclude it really isn't.
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This is such a hard time for all of us, isn’t it? We all are trying to find ways to connect.

Is she in a private room? I would think that if she is in a private room it would be ok, as long as she feels happy to see you.

If she is in a shared room, it could be disruptive to her roommate. Think about how the roommate must feel since she cannot see her family, it could make the roommate feel sad and feel like it is unfair, or that her family doesn’t care about her.

I know some of the NH’s are not allowing it because it is very disruptive when passing other windows to get to their loved ones it is freaking out other residents.
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Does h know and recognize you through the window? Does it seem to confuse her that you are outside the win seems It seems better to keep visiting than to suddenly stop. A visit lets you see how she is doing and encourages her response. Is there some reason you would not go?
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My mom really enjoys my phone calls through the window visits. She jokes and laughs and yes, is confused about why I'm at the window instead of inside, but she accepts it. As others have said, just watch closely to make sure she is happy to see you and not too confused about it. I worried at first that her sundowners would return and she would imagine people outside her windows at night from having seen me in the daytime there, but that didn't happen. I reassures me to be able to see she is well and happy.
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I have found that the visit to do lift my mom's spirits up. she is in late-stage Alzheimer's, I have to keep reiterating why I cannot come inside to see her ..

unfortunately my mom is on the third floor so it's hard for me to see her face. Is usually sitting in her wheelchair, I can see her when she waves to me, and I'm sure she finds it difficult to see me. but we are on the phone with each other at least I can tell her I love her and I look forward to seeing her and holding her hand again..

it is heart-wrenching..
I haven't seen or touched my mother since February 20th. I feel broken and I know what my future holds ..
my mom is currently being tested a second time for COVID19.. its beyond any emotion I have ever experienced..
Being 55 years old, I thought I'd experience everything emotionally..
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I would love to have a window visit with my mom, HER FACILITY REFUSES to allow them. I Agree it probably because they don’t want families to see how much the residents are neglected. There is no other reason. They say it’s because of the governors order but our governor is. Allowing it. It breaks my heart that I can’t see my mom. I was her full time care giver (9+ hour a day) for more than a year and it’s been awful not being able to see her. They have offered zoom but mom doesn’t like to sit still and it confuses her!
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Concerned7 Apr 2020
My Dads care home also prohibit window visits.

Absolutely absurd to prohibit this, they could at least be accommodating and use a specific window, but their excuse is “it takes too much time”. Now there charging us a monthly fee for gloves.

I envy the care homes that allow the visits at Windows.

Talk about taking advantage of a crisis.
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